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1 {ts '2008-09-12 10:29:57'} <center> <table border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" bgcolor=#ffffff> <tr> <td><b><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="+1">Piled Higher &amp; Deeper</font><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <i> by Jorge Cham</i></font></b></td> <td> </td> <td> <div align="right"><b><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">www.phdcomics.com</font></b></div> </td> </tr> <tr align="center"> <td colspan="3"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><img src="http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive/phd091108s.gif" border="0" align="top"></img></font></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="3"> <div align="center"><font size="-2" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">title: &quot;Tales from the Road - CERN, pt. 4&quot; - originally published 9/11/2008 </font><p><font face="arial">For the latest news in PHD Comics, <a href="http://www.phdcomics.com/comics.php">CLICK HERE!</a></font></p> </div> </td> </tr> </table> </center> 87 115830 [empty string] [empty string] [empty string] http://www.phdcomics.com/comics.php?f=1069 [empty string] 09/11/08 PHD comic: 'Tales from the Road - CERN, pt. 4'
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Filecontent <?xml version="1.0" encoding="ISO-8859-1"?> <?xml-stylesheet type="text/xsl" media="screen" href="/~d/styles/rss2full.xsl"?><?xml-stylesheet type="text/css" media="screen" href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~d/styles/itemcontent.css"?><rss xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" xmlns:admin="http://webns.net/mvcb/" xmlns:rdf="http://www.w3.org/1999/02/22-rdf-syntax-ns#" xmlns:feedburner="http://rssnamespace.org/feedburner/ext/1.0" version="2.0"> <channel> <title>2old2play News Feed</title> <link>http://www.2old2play.com</link> <description>All the latest news from the worlds most popular older gaming site</description> <dc:language>en-us</dc:language> <dc:creator>admin@2old2play.com</dc:creator> <dc:date>2010-09-09T23:14:41-04:00</dc:date> <sy:updatePeriod>hourly</sy:updatePeriod> <sy:updateFrequency>1</sy:updateFrequency> <sy:updateBase>2010-09-09T23:14:41-04:00</sy:updateBase> <atom10:link xmlns:atom10="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/2old2play" /><feedburner:info uri="2old2play" /><atom10:link xmlns:atom10="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" rel="hub" href="http://pubsubhubbub.appspot.com/" /><feedburner:browserFriendly>This is an XML content feed. It is intended to be viewed in a newsreader or syndicated to another site, subject to copyright and fair use.</feedburner:browserFriendly><item> <title>The Grumpy Gamer Goes to the Philippines</title> <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/2old2play/~3/7KsRcRU9rcA/modules.php</link> <description>&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;So, yeah, I guess Walla had some trouble with Xbox Customer Service a while back. Probably an isolated incident, right?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Hello, friend. &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;I am here today to talk about something important. This situation can impact your family, your friends and maybe your very own Xbox -- customer disservice. I would like to regale you with a tale of my telephonic trip to the Philippines. It’s a classic story of boy needs help, boy gets help, help pours sugar in the boy's gas tank and then sleeps with his best friend. So hike up your reading glasses and enjoy a story, some philosophy and pinch of business.&lt;font&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;It was a dark and stormy night. The email glared at me like the fiery eyes of monster from a child’s fairy tale. &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;“Subject : Automatic Renewal Notification for Xbox 12 mo. Gold Membership”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;You bastard. Why now? Why me? The financial demands of being sole supporter of a family of four during an economic fire sale have left me broken. Add the mounting vet bills from my wife’s obviously dying cat and you have yourself in quite a jam.&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;You see, I own two gamertags. The first is my primary tag, let’s call it “Walladog” for the sake of the discussion. The second we can call “WallaJr”. The second tag is for my 11-year-old son. So much as I would like to give Microsoft the bum’s rush … I was stuck with two. Walladog was renewed in December and I paid $49.99 for a 1 year gold membership. WallaJR was due to expire on June 7th.&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;Aha! Amazon to the rescue. Be still my heart, $39.99 for a 1-year prepaid subscription card. I ordered, they shipped (free!) There was much rejoicing.&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;The card arrives and in the middle of a busy day at work I decide to knock this item off the to-do list. I sign in to Xbox.com, enter my code and add the card to my account. Dust off my hands and wait for the joy of a job well done to roll over me.&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;Then it hits me, I signed into the wrong account! Holy ass crackers…I just put the card on the wrong account! Walladog still had six months left and I just added another year. WallaJr was still going to expire in a week.&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;As I let the depression, anxiety and remorse wash over me, a fire began to grow. It started as a spark and then the flame got bigger. No world … not today! Fuck, No! thank you very kindly … if you want me … you will have to come and get me! I am not going succumb to the Universe’s recent attempts to destroy me! If the virus infected computer, dying cat, screaming child, itchy eyes, financial ruin, psychotic neighbors and in-laws haven’t pushed me over the edge yet, nothing can.&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;Xbox Live support has always been helpful in the past…yeah…that’s it…I will call 1-800-4-MYXBO begin_of_the_skype_highlighting              1-800-4-MYXBOX      end_of_the_skype_highlightingX. Sure, sure, they can fix this. Then it will all be fine. Aaaall fine.&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;So I call. I have to talk to the computer first. You know the one:&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Computer: &lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt;“So our representatives can better assist you, please say what you need help with.”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me:&lt;/strong&gt; “Erectile dysfunction”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Computer: &lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;“I’m sorry, I didn’t get that. Did you say…Xbox malfunction?”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me: &lt;/strong&gt;“No thank you. It gives me gas.”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Computer:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt; “Hmm. I still didn’t get that. You can say Repairs, Technical Support or Accounts and Billing.”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me: &lt;/strong&gt;“Okay, accounts and billing”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;While I am holding for the next available representative I ponder the miracle of technology. My call is racing through fiber optic lines to another human being whose job it is to help me.  Wow, little old me! Helping the economy with my hard earned dollars by creating a need that leads to a job. I rock.&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Rep: &lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;“Thank you calling Xbox Live Support, my name Sally how I help you?”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me: &lt;/strong&gt;“Hi Sally, my wife says I’m beyond help but how about we give it a try?”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;I find that warming up someone on the phone tends to get you more goodwill. So I am smiling and trying to be polite and fun. Unfortunately “Sally” spoke something that was not "English." So as a result, witty reparte = FAIL.&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Sally:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; “Ahhhhhh. Ok. Very goooood. Can you tell me what problem is so I help you?”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;I explain that I redeemed my prepaid card on the wrong gamertag. I politely ask if it is even possible for them to help me. I understand if they cannot because the error was in fact, mine. But on the off chance that this happens all the time and its no big deal I thought I would call.&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Sally: &lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;“I see. Okaaaay. I just need to verify information so I help you. Okaaaaay?”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me: &lt;/strong&gt;“Sure, fire away.”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Sally: &lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;“Can I get gamertag?”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me: &lt;/strong&gt;“W A L L A D O G”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Sally:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt; “Greeeaaat. Okaaay. Please hold on while I verify……..Okaaay, thank you….hold on while verify……okaaay….thank you…okaaay?”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;We then repeat this drill with my name, my address, then my email, then the phone number, then the last four digits of the credit card on file, and still she needs to verify &lt;em&gt;(Okaaaaaay&lt;/em&gt;?).&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Sally: &lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;“When you set up account, you choose secret question. What answer to secret question?”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;Seriously? Let me take a moment to be grumpy. What the hell is with all the secret questions? Is it really a security measure? I mean with social networking sites and the amount of data available online these days, if I am stealing your identity you can bet your ass I know your mother’s maiden name, your social, your birthdate and your favorite ice cream.&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;And another thing, ask a question that isn’t subjective! Who is my favorite author? Well hell, five years ago when I set up the account it may have been Tom Clancy. Today though I haven’t read a Clancy book in four years and my favorite author is Isaac Asimov!&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;My secret question was : &lt;em&gt;What was your first car?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;Awww douche nozzles.  The first car I drove (Dad can I have the car tonight?), the first car that was Mine (an old beater gifted to me at 19) or the first car I bought myself (which consequently was a neon blue Geo Metro (I was engaged at the time…suck it haters!).&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;I took a stab at the answers but none of them were correct in the eyes of “Sally”.&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;Sally proceeds to tell me that if I have access to the internet I can sign into my Windows Live logon and see this info. I do, and then I do, but I cannot see the answer to the question. It does however let me change the question.&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me: &lt;/strong&gt;“So Sally, it says here I can pick a new question. Can I just reset this to a new question and answer, then give you that?”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Sally: &lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;“Suuure. Yeeees. Okaaaay?”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;So I do. I wait for Sally to get the update over the internets and bam! Sally asks me the new question, I give her verbatim the answer I just typed into the screen.&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me: &lt;/strong&gt;“So Sally, let me ask you something. We have been on the phone almost fifteen minutes now and we are still trying to establish my identity. Doesn’t this seem a little over the top to you?”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Sally: &lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;“I understand your concern apprehensive. This is our policy for protect you!”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me: &lt;/strong&gt;“But Sally, if I was NOT the real Walladog, but I obviously have enough information to access his account and see the security questions, isn’t it kind of pointless in going through the exercise of asking for it?”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Sally: &lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt;“I understand your concern apprehensive. This is our….”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me: &lt;/strong&gt;“It’s cool Sally. Don’t get worked up about it.”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;So almost 20 minutes into this call we finally are ready to get down to brass tacks. I explain the issue in detail to Sally. Here is where I take a good long full on run at the language barrier with my balls out. BANG! Yup. That hurt. Sally has no idea what I’m talking about. I do what all American’s are taught to do when facing a linguistic hurdle, talk &lt;em&gt;louder&lt;/em&gt;. Nope. Still nothing.&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;At about the 35 minute mark she has put me on hold three times and said, “Okaaaay, let just verify sooomethiiiing….okaaay? There, hold … let just verify sooomethiiiing … okay?” like she was getting paid for the phrase.&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;Success! Sally says no problem. She will cancel the 1-year prepaid card that was applied to Walladog. Then I will get an email with a new token (5x5 code) for 1-year that I can use on the WallaJr account.&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me: &lt;/strong&gt;“This is excellent Sally. Thank you for helping me. I really appreciate it. Now just to be sure, when you say cancel the Walladog … it’s just the 1-year card right? This isn’t going to cancel my account or my gamertag? I mean, the world has taken so much from me, if it took gaming too I might just go over the edge and start a cult.”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Sally: &lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;“Hold on…let me verify….Thaaank Youuu. Hold on….yes. This only cancel 1-year card, then you get token in email”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;I have another short hold where I have to confirm everything with her supervisor to finish the process. I am out of the call at the 43-minute mark. Not bad I suppose. I didn’t want to spend 43 minutes on it but hey, my problem got solved! Take that world, a big old Walladog teabag in your face!&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;Then I felt a shift in the Universe. As if the Universe heard my taunt and responded with, “Oh no no no no little man….up…YOURS!”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;I sign on to Xbox.com and check my Walladog account. “Upgrade to Gold Now!?” WTF? Oh yeah! Walladog, which I had renewed in December for one year was now listed as expired. &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;Back to the phones.&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Computer: &lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;“So our representatives can better assist you, please say what you need help with.”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me:&lt;/strong&gt; “Somebody lied to me and completely took a dump on my self esteem.”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Computer: &lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;“Did you say Enforcement Team?”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me: &lt;/strong&gt;“You know what, it doesn’t even really matter anymore. I don’t know why I bother talking to you. It’s like you are listening but you aren’t HEARING me. See, you are doing it now! I mean, I respect you but half of me wants to just hang up and never talk to you again while the other half of me wonders, what are you thinking about?”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Computer: &lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt;“I’m sorry, I didn’t understand your response. Please try again.”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me: &lt;/strong&gt;“You are impossible. I hate you. It’s over.”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Computer: &lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt;“Please hold for the next available representative.”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;So, basically you can cut and paste the first 35 minutes of the last phone call. I spend 15 minutes establishing my identity and another 15 trying to communicate what the situation was during the first call. Finally we move on to the matter at hand.&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;I explain that there has been an error. My entire account has been cancelled. I would like it fixed and fixed immediately.&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Sally2.0: &lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt;“Meester Boogaloo, I understand you frustration and I feel frustrations too also if it were I. I can definitely sympathy with your very much situation.”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me: &lt;/strong&gt;“Huh?”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Sally2.0: &lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt;“Pleeease hold while verification information.”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me: &lt;/strong&gt;“Can you put the computer back on?”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;They basically transfer me through two supervisors to tell me don’t worry; they are sending me a code.&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me: &lt;/strong&gt;“I know. Steve, Sally2.0, you guys have been great. I know that my 1-year card was cancelled. I KNOW that you are going to email me a token for another one. What I don’t know is how you are going to fix the account that was already paid for and now is cancelled?”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Steve: &lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt;“Meeester Bangladesh, we send email token code to replace.”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me: &lt;/strong&gt;“But you now essentially owe me for a year and half?”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Steve:&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; “Meester Blumpkin, we send code for 1-year and half then.”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me: &lt;/strong&gt;“Steve, that does seem to square things. However, if I use the code I will have 18 months on WallaJr and still 0 months on Walladog. How do we fix this?”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Steve : &lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;“Meester Bilbo, hold while verification…..”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Steve: &lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;“Meester Boxlightner we send TWO codes.”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me: &lt;/strong&gt;“Okay Steve, now we are cutting to the quick!”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Steve: &lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;“Cut quick?”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me: &lt;/strong&gt;“Never mind Steve. Will this reset my seniority tag on my account? Because I dig my little six on my gamer tag.”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Steve: &lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt;“Hold while verification…”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Steve: &lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;“Meester Badonkadonk, I have a non answer to that. You will have an email to coming to you to code token in your account within the next 5 to 7 business day.”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me: &lt;/strong&gt;“Steve, I don’t think I heard you right. It sounded like you said that one of your people screwed up my account and now I can’t play on Xbox Live for the next week. There has to be a way to escalate this right? A way to go to the next level so I can remedy the situation?”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Steve: &lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;“Meester Bukakke, we not that can do here. All we have power is to submit notes to Microsoft, then they are to processing them.”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me: &lt;/strong&gt;“Can we call them? I mean help me out here Steve. Do you have a number for support in the United States? Where are you anyway?”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Steve: &lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;“Meester Bumbaclot, we are located in the Philippines. We have no numbers for any other service center areas.”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me: &lt;/strong&gt;“Steve, why are you giving me the High Hat?”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Steve: &lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;“Huh?”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me: &lt;/strong&gt;“The Bum’s Rush”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;Steve: &lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;“What?”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me: &lt;/strong&gt;“I feel like a pig in a poke.”&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;Total call time was around 58 minutes. I actually made a third call that lasted around forty-six minutes but it ended the same way. I asked at the beginning if they could tell me if anything could be done, because if NOT then I didn’t want to wait through the 15-minute process of establishing my identity. I got suckered in and fell for it again to no avail.&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;As a side note, much of the broken English here was not sexy broken English. I could, for example, read all of the above dialogue in a sexy Russian voice like Boris and Natasha from the Rocky &amp;#38; Bullwinkle Show. Then it would be hot. No, this was more the jilted Philippine variety of broken English.&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;Let me be clear, I harbor no ill will to the people of the Philippines. Nor do I have a problem with the fact that the people I was in contact with could not speak English very well. My issue would be with the corporate culture that thinks this is a viable cost cutting measure.&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;In my example I have to believe that the entire matter could have been handled in much less time. My estimation would be under ten minutes. If I was talking to a native English speaking person I believe we could have communicated all the information and resolved the issue in as little as five minutes. They would have understood my concerns and probably told me there was no way to undo the 1-year card without messing up the Walladog account. I would have said thank you for the time and ordered another card from Amazon.&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;So, one would have to assume that whatever savings were garnered by moving the call center to the Philippines were then quickly lost in the volume of call time. They paid less per minute of service but we are comparing a potential five-minute call to the 147 minute call. Let me check the math on this:&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;Assume a native English speaking representative here in the states costs $11.00 per hour. (not what they make, but cost to Microsoft)&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;Assume a representative in the Philippines costs $1.00 per hour.&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;$11.00 per hour&lt;em&gt; X&lt;/em&gt; 5 minutes&lt;em&gt; = &lt;/em&gt;$0.916&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;$1.00 per hour &lt;em&gt;X &lt;/em&gt;147 minutes &lt;em&gt;= &lt;/em&gt;$2.45&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;Okay, I officially don’t get it. I think the $11.00 per hour is a pretty average figure for low level phone reps. $1.00 per hour might be wishful thinking, and if the actual costs of infrastructure to give them a presence in the billing systems is more then equation becomes even more unbalanced.&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;I mean, look; I am a fan of business. I am a capitalist and an entrepreneur. As such I have a certain admiration for Microsoft. You may not like all of their decisions or products but you can’t deny that they have built a business empire the likes of which the world has never seen. I applaud their restraint. Had I been in Mr. Gates’ position I might have just bought a large section of the country and made my own nation called Windows Land.&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;To that end, I have never had a problem paying for Xbox Live. When I first found out about it on the original Xbox I was excited. The prospect of playing online, with a stable dedicated network was excellent value for under $50 a year. It even drove me to get high speed internet at my home just so I could be ready for when I signed up for Xbox Live.&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;I have felt that the online experience I pay for is a good value and better experience than any other console offers. This sort of customer service issue though makes great strides in devaluing the service in my mind. I own two 360s and maintain two Live accounts. I buy Microsoft products, I spend probably $20 per week on average in Mspoints for online content and I even refrained from griping too loud about the seven Xbox 360 replacements I have had to endure. I am a good customer right?&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;So why would you try to alienate me? Even worse, I can’t even say you did it to save money. It looks like it probably cost you MORE!&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;In the end it is much less about real value then it is about perceived value. Since Microsoft has a popular product everyone wants they can afford to ruffle your feathers. They know you are going to be back for a hit of the good stuff tomorrow. So as my perceived value of Xbox Live was just taken down a few notches, I am left to wonder:&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;em&gt;Does Microsoft feel they are just too good to worry about caring?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;                                    Or&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;em&gt;Have they become so big that they no longer have the capacity to care?&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;It is an interesting dilemma. If a grown man walks across a restaurant and takes my newspaper off my table to read the comics…there would be some words. If a 4-year-old child at the next table does the same thing I would laugh and make faces. The difference is that one person knows how to act and chooses not to while the other know no better and just acts.&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;So should I roll up my sleeves and start a fight or forgive them their trespasses because it is the price we pay for having such a giant supplier of technology?&lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt; &lt;/div&gt; &lt;div&gt;&lt;em&gt;Follow Up: &lt;/em&gt;The next day I received a call from Xbox Live support confirming my email address. I was sent a code for a 1-year subscription and two codes for a 3-month subscription. I am still waiting to see if my anniversary date was reset.&lt;/div&gt; &lt;/font&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?a=7KsRcRU9rcA:6tm-QyrWs90:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?a=7KsRcRU9rcA:6tm-QyrWs90:63t7Ie-LG7Y"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?d=63t7Ie-LG7Y" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?a=7KsRcRU9rcA:6tm-QyrWs90:7Q72WNTAKBA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?d=7Q72WNTAKBA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/div&gt;</description> <guid isPermaLink="false">1959@http://www.2old2play.com</guid> <dc:subject>Editorials</dc:subject> <dc:date>2010-09-09T18:17:50-04:00</dc:date> <dc:creator>Posted by Drost</dc:creator> <feedburner:origLink>http://www.2old2play.com/modules.php?name=News&amp;file=article&amp;sid=1959</feedburner:origLink></item> <item> <title>Online Gaming Communities and "Real Life" Relationships</title> <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/2old2play/~3/kLVSS5QSG44/modules.php</link> <description>&lt;p&gt;2old2play's own Derek "DSmooth" Nolan hosted a panel on 'Online Gaming Communities and "Real Life" Relationships' at PAX 2010 this year. Read on for more info and full video of the panel.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;So PAX is over, and it was full of lots of good games, announcements, parties and panels. After the success of hosting the same panel at PAX East, DSmooth swapped out panelists and did it again for a packed room at PAX Prime. &lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;b&gt;Panelists included:&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;a href="http://twitter.com/dereknolan"&gt;Derek "DSmooth" Nolan&lt;/a&gt; - Co-founder, 2old2play.com; Host, 2old2type Radio podcast&lt;br /&gt; &lt;a href="http://twitter.com/kittychix"&gt;Chloe "PMS Kitty" Brown&lt;/a&gt; - Co-founder, GamerchiX; Community Manager PopChiX&lt;br /&gt; &lt;a href="http://twitter.com/Cathlin"&gt;Cathlin "Catastrophe" Sentz&lt;/a&gt; - Reviews Editor, ZTGD.com; Community Manager, N4G.com&lt;br /&gt; &lt;a href="http://twitter.com/H2ORip"&gt;Ryan "H2O Rip" Chaply&lt;/a&gt; - Clan Operations, PMS|H2O; Editor in Chief, PMS Clan Inc&lt;br /&gt; &lt;a href="http://twitter.com/HMXhenry"&gt;Aaron "HMXhenry" Trites&lt;/a&gt; - Community Manager, Harmonix&lt;br /&gt; &lt;/b&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; The panel went well, and was well received... Enjoy... &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;object width="499" height="306"&gt;&lt;param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/4YJRlPSkWjk?fs=1&amp;#38;hl=en_US&amp;#38;hd=1"&gt;&lt;/param&gt;&lt;param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"&gt;&lt;/param&gt;&lt;param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"&gt;&lt;/param&gt;&lt;embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/4YJRlPSkWjk?fs=1&amp;#38;hl=en_US&amp;#38;hd=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="499" height="306"&gt;&lt;/embed&gt;&lt;/object&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?a=kLVSS5QSG44:O6azltPg6Y0:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?a=kLVSS5QSG44:O6azltPg6Y0:63t7Ie-LG7Y"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?d=63t7Ie-LG7Y" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?a=kLVSS5QSG44:O6azltPg6Y0:7Q72WNTAKBA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?d=7Q72WNTAKBA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/div&gt;</description> <guid isPermaLink="false">1958@http://www.2old2play.com</guid> <dc:subject>PAX</dc:subject> <dc:date>2010-09-07T09:22:10-04:00</dc:date> <dc:creator>Posted by DSmooth</dc:creator> <feedburner:origLink>http://www.2old2play.com/modules.php?name=News&amp;file=article&amp;sid=1958</feedburner:origLink></item> <item> <title>“GAMERS DON’T READ”</title> <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/2old2play/~3/NyZCEdgoep4/modules.php</link> <description>&lt;p&gt;&lt;i&gt;Kill Screen&lt;/i&gt;, a shiny new magazine that set out to challenge the video game literature status quo is here to prove that gamers do read. Read about how they started and what they’re planning to bring you from 2o2p's interview with Jamin Brophy-Warren, Editor of&lt;i&gt; Kill Screen&lt;/i&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;[Tara] How was &lt;i&gt;Kill Screen&lt;/i&gt; conceived and what does that name signify?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;[Jamin]&lt;/strong&gt; Like all good ideas, it was developed over chicken tikka masala in San Francisco.  Chris and I, along with some of the future members of the KS family like Tom Bissell, were lamenting the lack of long-format game writing.  The places that we worked with on the national level were generally not that interested in games, so that left a big hole in terms of story-telling.  So we figured that we should start that project ourselves.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; I had met our designer Tony Smyrski years earlier when I was working as a reporter for the Wall Street Journal and was researching a travel story on Luxembourg.  Turns out that we're both from Philly and former all-boys Catholic schoolers, but it took a trip the former financial center of Europe to make a connection.  We stayed in touch and I brought the idea to him immediately after Chris and I had spoken.  Tony is responsible for the incredible look and feel of the product, and we're really indebted to him in terms of bringing written ideas to life through design.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; The name came from Tom actually.  He says it came in a dream.  We liked it so it stuck.  In terms of significance, Kill Screens in the real world are the functional end of gaming, and a lot like &lt;a rel="nofollow" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_King_of_Kong:_A_Fistful_of_Quarters"&gt;Steve Wiebe&lt;/a&gt;, we're chasing that endpoint too, just from the standpoint of writers.  Also, it's just a cool phrase.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;[Tara] What have been some of the most exciting and frightening revelations of going live with this project?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;[Jamin]&lt;/strong&gt; Well, the frightening part is the same as an exciting part.  The question we get the most is "Why Print?" to which my answer is two-fold.  First, the problems of print media are manifold, but they're not unsolvable.  Print has a pricing issue -- for years, publications told people that the physical product was worthless and when something cheaper came along, readers fled. Print is a luxury and we should treat it as such.  But that comes with a responsibility -- to create something worthy of being held, cherished, and passed on.  &lt;i&gt;Kill Screen&lt;/i&gt; is designed to create an experience that can't be replicated digitally and I think if you're not a free publication, high design and higher prices are the way to go.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Second, print is just the start.  We're treating the print product as a design bible that informs other projects that we're working on.  We're revamping our &lt;a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.killscreenmagazine.com/"&gt;website&lt;/a&gt;, we're working on a mobile product, we're designing t-shirts.  Magazines need to start thinking of themselves as idea centers that create opportunities outside of the product's pages.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; So it's extremely exciting to be building a business with the mistakes of other much larger companies to inform our decisions.  That is also terrifying because we don't see a lot of other models that are working right.  (Although &lt;a rel="nofollow" href="http://vice/"&gt;VICE&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.monocle.com/"&gt;Monocle&lt;/a&gt; are two publications that are doing&lt;br /&gt; things right.)&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;[Tara] The &lt;i&gt;Kill Screen&lt;/i&gt; crew is quite the ensemble of talent from non-gaming backgrounds. How will this benefit the content?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; [Jamin] Well, it makes the writing better.  I think writers outside of the game world feel like they can't write about games because they don't possess encyclopedic knowledge.  But Chris and I know about games so we can guide people along the way if they have questions.  Usually editors at big publications don't know anything about videogames and that makes the editing process hairy.  (Personal experience.)&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Our writers are focused on stories  -- specifically, this larger question "What do games mean?"  That means looking at the personal experiences that we collectively share through game play and the creative process of people who make games.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;[Tara] &lt;i&gt;Kill Screen&lt;/i&gt; is essentially open-sourcing some of the writing. Other than costs associated with starting a magazine, why this model?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;[Jamin] &lt;/strong&gt;Well, it's not quite open-source.  We're just opening the doors to new talent.  Chris is a phenomenal editor and has been doing a great job crafting small ideas into big ones. &lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;[Tara] Reading and gaming can be thought of as substitute activities. How will &lt;i&gt;Kill Screen&lt;/i&gt; make us put the controller down and pick the print up?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;[Jamin]&lt;/strong&gt; One of the interesting things we found in polling our readers was that they bought a book once a month.  (I'm in that boat as well.)  So reading is a natural activity for a lot of our readers.  The pitch to newcomers is that we tell good stories and our frequency allows for you to really dive in at your own pace.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;[Tara] Web 2.0 has bloated the net with gaming articles that boil down to commentaries on commentaries on commentaries. How has this affected the content quality out there?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;[Jamin]&lt;/strong&gt; Well, I think it's made the world a lot smaller.  With dozens of publications printing the same press releases, I think it can be difficult to find new and interesting stories.  I am happy about the overall ecosystem of videogame news and reviews, but we'd rather watch from the sidelines and pluck the things that are interesting rather than follow what other sites are doing.  Good storytelling is evergreen and it's a rare commodity, so I'd rather focus our energies on that first.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;[Tara] I see today’s print gaming magazines as almost “strategy guides” for the industry. They’re where you go when trying to figure out how to spend your next $60. &lt;i&gt;Kill Screen&lt;/i&gt; aspires to be “what early &lt;i&gt;Rolling Stone&lt;/i&gt; was to rock n’ roll or &lt;i&gt;Wired&lt;/i&gt; was to tech.” What exactly is that?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; [Jamin] Well, sorry, this sounds like a mantra -- but it's about telling good stories.  It's choosing interesting topics and approaching them with the respect and time that they deserve.  There's a reason that &lt;i&gt;Kill Screen&lt;/i&gt; comes out every few months -- we like to take our time and really produce&lt;br /&gt; something that's going to look and feel timeless.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;[Tara] Issue 1 is out. What did you learn from the reception of Issue 0 that you took into account for the second&lt;br /&gt; issue?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;[Jamin]&lt;/strong&gt; Most of the feedback was positive -- in a weird way, we could use more criticism.  There are some internal things that we noted that I can't talk about just yet because we're deciding how we want to implement them. The biggest thing was length -- this issue was twice as long so it feels more like something that justifies your time and money.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;[Tara]&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;strong&gt;How are you defining success for the magazine?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;[Jamin]&lt;/strong&gt; Sustainability. Another publisher told me that running a business is a marathon not a sprint. We have a lot of ideas for what we want to do with &lt;i&gt;Kill Screen&lt;/i&gt;, but the key is to roll them out one at a time. Right now, our dreams outstrip our resources, so it's a matter of figuring out what makes sense to do at each time. But I want to create an environment where the each piece of &lt;i&gt;Kill Screen&lt;/i&gt; -- the magazine, video, apparel -- thrives and can continue to support people in the future.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;i&gt;Like what you hear?&lt;/i&gt; &lt;i&gt; If you would like to contribute to Kill Screen’s sustainability, check out &lt;a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.killscreenmagazine.com/"&gt;their site&lt;/a&gt; for subscription information. &lt;/i&gt;&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;2old2play members can also save $20.00 of the subscription by using the coupon code: 2OLD2GAME&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?a=NyZCEdgoep4:iohSBSA9lHk:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?a=NyZCEdgoep4:iohSBSA9lHk:63t7Ie-LG7Y"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?d=63t7Ie-LG7Y" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?a=NyZCEdgoep4:iohSBSA9lHk:7Q72WNTAKBA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?d=7Q72WNTAKBA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/div&gt;</description> <guid isPermaLink="false">1957@http://www.2old2play.com</guid> <dc:subject>Interviews</dc:subject> <dc:date>2010-09-02T15:54:21-04:00</dc:date> <dc:creator>Posted by Drost</dc:creator> <feedburner:origLink>http://www.2old2play.com/modules.php?name=News&amp;file=article&amp;sid=1957</feedburner:origLink></item> <item> <title>Gaming is going to shit ... and it's your mom's fault</title> <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/2old2play/~3/MOgzGXPHy3A/modules.php</link> <description>&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;As it turns out, there's the possiblity that all those mom jokes are not unjustified. She may have had a hand in the downfall of &lt;/em&gt;our &lt;em&gt;kind of gaming. Tara's here to fill you in.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Nintendo welcomed a new industry influencer into gaming’s basement. It’s your mom. And whether she meant to or not, she has tidied up the place…and I’m pissed. Let me back up and explain. &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;A couple weeks ago I was sitting in the doctor’s office reading some bullshit magazine that gave me tips on how to keep my svelte gamers’ body. It was the typical “do this-not that, eat this-never that” article that is rehashed in every woman’s magazine month in and month out. One of the tips was to play an active video game on the Wii instead of playing regular video games.  Some gamers might read this and see a win. Gaming is turning mainstream, right? Wrong. &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;The Wii is mainstream. Fucking &lt;em&gt;Farmville &lt;/em&gt;for shit’s sake is mainstream. My games, your games, 2o2p’s games, are NOT mainstream. &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Last weekend my best friend and I were talking about the modern day snobbery of child-rearing. You know what I’m talking about. Those parents that one-up each other about how much they deprive their children of everything we grew up knowing. “No TV in this house!” “Timmy has never even tasted pizza!” Sure, parents want their kids to have a better life than they did. I get it. But sometimes you can almost wipe the smug off their faces and you know that some of that sacrifice is for mom’s sense of ego. &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Sometimes I want to shake these people and yell, “the kids are fine! You’re fine! Chill the fuck out!”  But that would be bad for the economy. &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;I’ve daydreamed about opening a small business, since, forever. I have at least 10 business plans living in my head. One common trait between all my disparate ideas is a female target market. And it’s not because I’m female and I think I can use gender to “speak” to women. No. It’s because I want to be successful and I know that women are in charge of America’s wallet.  It’s true. I don’t want to bore you with a bunch of facts, but go &lt;a href="http://she-conomy.com/report/facts-on-women/"&gt;HERE&lt;/a&gt; and read about how women account for 85% of all consumer purchases.  Super moms are spending shit-tons of money on anything and everything. And now they’re spending money on video games. The industry has noticed. &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Pre-Wii, the gamer market was predominantly male and/or the hardcore gamer. Sure, 40-something divorcees were collecting more &lt;i&gt;Sims&lt;/i&gt; than cats, but they still weren’t the “target.” Then Nintendo rolled around and brilliantly executed a strategy to NOT compete with Sony and Microsoft. Seriously, I bet there is a white paper somewhere that points out how Nintendo’s SWOT analysis led to the Wii. It is that fucking textbook. &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;If your target market doesn’t like you anymore, find a new target! &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;I don’t know if Nintendo, or anyone, had the perspicacity to project exactly who this new Wii market would be, but it’s safe to say they knew it would be non-gamers.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Strategic planning aside, let’s talk basic economics. The invisible hand theory explains why the video game industry has migrated toward the present day product mix. Acting out of self-interest, the industry is investing in the seemingly quick and available profits of casual gaming. Nintendo assumed all the risk and made it evident to the gaming industry that there’s a real market outside the hardcore nerds. Now Microsoft, Apple, Sony, and everyone else are running up to grab money off the table. Sadly for Nintendo, game-changer companies typically lose ground as new entrants iteratively innovate and steal market share.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;And then there's that pesky law of unintended consequences that basically says humans are too stupid to exactly figure out all the impact of their actions - the most likely explanation for the de facto cooling off of investment into hardcore gaming. &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Causal video gaming gives the industry new ways to be “relevant” (marketers love that word). Mom's wallet is wide open. &lt;a href="http://www.computerandvideogames.com/article.php?id=256054"&gt;And Pachter blames hardcore gamers for lagging software sales&lt;/a&gt;. The industry probably never &lt;i&gt;meant &lt;/i&gt;to shift business models and leave us hanging but…the industry is accountable to their shareholders, not us. &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Most recent gaming innovations have been diversions from hardcore gaming: &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;The Wii &lt;/b&gt;– Controls like shit. Garbage games. (&lt;em&gt;Don't forget that it &lt;/em&gt;looks &lt;em&gt;like shit, too. -- ed.&lt;/em&gt;) My mom likes to play. I rest my case. But if you're a &lt;a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYys0QvAzNE"&gt;busy mom&lt;/a&gt; that needs to get in shape, you should check it out!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Avatars &lt;/b&gt;– Okay, I like to dress mine up, I have to admit. But despite speaking to my inner little girl, avatars are really just a medium to push micro-transactions and simultaneously make video games more approachable and mainstream. &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;&lt;i&gt;Farmville &lt;/i&gt;&lt;/b&gt;– And every other retarded “ville” game that people play on Facebook all day long. When I saw so many people playing this game, I checked it out. I assumed I must be missing something. Turns out the only thing missing was self-awareness of my own naiveté about the mindless garbage people partake in to distract themselves to death. &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Arcade games&lt;/b&gt; – Every once in a while there’s a good arcade game. I’ll give in a little bit. But there’s also a whole lot of nostalgia, cheaply made, cutesy, re-hashed shit. &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Netflix/Last.fm/Twitter/Facebook&lt;/b&gt; – I love that my Xbox 360 is becoming the focal point of the living room. But other than tying me to hardware, how is adding a bunch of popular apps making &lt;i&gt;gaming&lt;/i&gt; any better? &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Sony Wii (Move) and Microsoft Wii (Kinect)&lt;/b&gt; – I have Kinect pre-ordered. I’m my own worst enemy. Trust me, I see the pattern.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;A Microsoft booth dude at the Mall of America told me how Kinect will be integrated into other games. His example was gestures in &lt;i&gt;Fable 3&lt;/i&gt;. Instead of using the d-pad to make your hero hip thrust, you’ll get in front of the camera and vulgarly thrust away. That will break gameplay continuity. Will &lt;i&gt;Halo &lt;/i&gt;and &lt;i&gt;Call of Duty&lt;/i&gt; start using Kinect gestures in some way to get a giggle out of the family? Hopefully not, although it might be fun to peach punch some noobs through Kinect.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Alright, enough about all the wonderful ways the gaming industry is making mom feel at home in front of the Xbox. Let’s make note of what’s going on for hardcore gamers: &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;A sequel of a really good game was released. &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;A sequel of another really good game was released.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;A prequel of a good game was released (followed by a sequel). &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;A douchebag keeps talking about how he wants to charge a subscription fee for &lt;i&gt;Call of Duty&lt;/i&gt;. &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Hardcore games are more expensive to make, they have smaller target markets, and they don’t appeal to moms that are trying to feel like a better parent than the neighbor.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;As long as letting the kiddos play &lt;i&gt;Halo &lt;/i&gt;continues to make mom feel guilty, we can expect the analysts following the money to mom’s wallet to take notice and give her what she wants. &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Play this, not that. &lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?a=MOgzGXPHy3A:UX3OXFh8mCo:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?a=MOgzGXPHy3A:UX3OXFh8mCo:63t7Ie-LG7Y"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?d=63t7Ie-LG7Y" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?a=MOgzGXPHy3A:UX3OXFh8mCo:7Q72WNTAKBA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?d=7Q72WNTAKBA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/div&gt;</description> <guid isPermaLink="false">1956@http://www.2old2play.com</guid> <dc:subject>Site Columns</dc:subject> <dc:date>2010-08-31T15:59:49-04:00</dc:date> <dc:creator>Posted by Drost</dc:creator> <feedburner:origLink>http://www.2old2play.com/modules.php?name=News&amp;file=article&amp;sid=1956</feedburner:origLink></item> <item> <title>New Admins, Mods, and Community Leaders, OH MY!</title> <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/2old2play/~3/aAVJiUTt2-w/modules.php</link> <description>&lt;p&gt;So it turns out that when your community grows you actually need more then 2 people to run it. With that in mind, we decided to finally add some fine folks to the ranks of 2o2p leadership. Check it out.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;h2&gt;Administrators&lt;/h2&gt; &lt;p&gt;First things first we needed more admins here to help people out with account issues, spammers and the general direction of 2old2play. To be honest we have known for a long time that we needed help, but never really had the time to train or trust someone with the 2old2play reins. Well that time is over and I'm happy to welcome our two newest admins on 2old2play, &lt;a href="http://www.2old2play.com/Blog/drost"&gt;Drost&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href="http://www.2old2play.com/Blog/Taxisquad27"&gt;Taxisquad27&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Drost has been editor and chief here at 2old2play for quite a while now and so it made sense having the person who manages all our content move in to the admin spot. Taxi has been with 2o2p since its beginning and as a moderator has done more then many of us admins to keep 2old2play clean, over 25, and functioning.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;These admin additions also help us split up some of the work around 2old2play and focus on individual areas of expertise while leaving the modding to the moderators. A list of staff rolls should be up in the forums and at the bottom of this post to help give members and idea of who they should contact with their issues or ideas. As always if you have problems that only an admin can help with, feel free to PM.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;h2&gt;Moderators&lt;/h2&gt; &lt;p&gt;The other issue with the site was our moderators or lack there of. We had a lot of mods that went MiA and almost triple the amount of spam. So we decided a mod group of 3-4 just wasn't going to be enough to hold off the old man porn and viagra spam. To help combat this we are adding a mod team of about 15 members to help keep the site clean and orderly. As of this post we still have a few more people to add, but we wanted to introduce the currently line up anyway. If you are interested in becoming a mod (and have the time) feel free to shoot doodirock a PM for more info.&lt;p&gt; &lt;ul&gt; &lt;li&gt;lbsutke&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;Rock&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;Geekboy&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;LB75Player&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;RogueRedneck&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;SoupNazzi&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;Spooky&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;ThyEnemy&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;Dixon_Tufar&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;meemoos&lt;/li&gt; &lt;/ul&gt; &lt;p&gt;Hopefully this will grow over the next week or so, but i hope you guys welcome the newcomers with open arms. We tried to pick members from all over the community and globe to make sure that many different time zones and styles of gamers were chosen. There should be a mod around the site almost 24 hours a day once we get a couple more on the roster. Hopefully this we keep things spam free and organized for years to come.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;h2&gt;The Staff&lt;/h2&gt; &lt;p&gt;As promised here is a break down of the 2old2play staff and their rolls here. The list is very incomplete but should give you an idea of our staff structure.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;h4&gt;Admins&lt;/h4&gt; &lt;ul&gt; &lt;li&gt;Doodirock - Site Development&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;DSmooth - Industry Management &lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;Drost - Content Management &lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;Taxisquad27 - Business Development &lt;/li&gt; &lt;ul&gt; &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt; &lt;h4&gt;Staff&lt;/h4&gt; &lt;ul&gt; &lt;li&gt;Waterborn- Community Manager (external)&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;Caesar - Community Manager (internal) &lt;/li&gt; &lt;ul&gt; &lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt; &lt;h4&gt;Moderators&lt;/h4&gt; &lt;ul&gt; &lt;li&gt;lbsutke&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;Rock&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;Geekboy&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;LB75Player&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;RogueRedneck&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;SoupNazzi&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;Spooky&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;ThyEnemy&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;Dixon_Tufar&lt;/li&gt; &lt;li&gt;meemoos&lt;/li&gt; &lt;/ul&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?a=aAVJiUTt2-w:Q3TT8OXK2oA:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?a=aAVJiUTt2-w:Q3TT8OXK2oA:63t7Ie-LG7Y"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?d=63t7Ie-LG7Y" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?a=aAVJiUTt2-w:Q3TT8OXK2oA:7Q72WNTAKBA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?d=7Q72WNTAKBA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/div&gt;</description> <guid isPermaLink="false">1955@http://www.2old2play.com</guid> <dc:subject>News</dc:subject> <dc:date>2010-08-30T17:27:46-04:00</dc:date> <dc:creator>Posted by doodirock</dc:creator> <feedburner:origLink>http://www.2old2play.com/modules.php?name=News&amp;file=article&amp;sid=1955</feedburner:origLink></item> <item> <title>2old2type Ep 133: The Maltese (or just Malted) Falcon</title> <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/2old2play/~3/8BfoUZ_-WXo/modules.php</link> <description>&lt;p&gt;Episode 133 of 2old2type Radio, the official podcast of 2old2play.com, has been posted and is ready to please. Read on for more information.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img hspace="8" height="120" align="left" width="120" vspace="7" alt="" src="http://www.2old2play.com/images/2old2type_new2.jpg" /&gt;Well DSmooth is back from vacation, but Codemonkey is in Germany this week, so surprisingly popular guest host Jonah Falcon has been brought back for a return visit. They cover Gamescom, the hot gaming news stories of the week, the new releases, as well as a bit of listener feedback. A great episode... And remember, you can always call the boys at (773) 527-2961 and weigh in yourself...&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; If you'd like to post comments on this episode, or questions for the next one, feel free to use &lt;a href="http://www.2old2play.com/modules.php?name=Forums&amp;#38;file=viewtopic&amp;#38;t=65941"&gt;this forum post.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Please check out our sponsors: &lt;a href="http://www.pntra.com/t/R0BFR0xIRkBHRklFRUBGTEtISw"&gt;&lt;img height="31" border="0" width="88" alt="Net Nanny - The Internet's Best Content Filter" src="http://www.pntra.com/b/R0BFR0xIRkBHRklFRUBGTEtISw" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href="http://gan.doubleclick.net/gan_click?lid=41000000031556414&amp;#38;pubid=21000000000249316"&gt;&lt;img border="0" alt="Netflix, Inc." src="http://clickserve.cc-dt.com/link/tplimage?lid=41000000030310781&amp;#38;pubid=21000000000249316" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a target="_top" href="http://www.anrdoezrs.net/click-2763466-10379068"&gt; &lt;img height="31" width="88" alt="www.godaddy.com" src="http://www.awltovhc.com/image-2763466-10379068" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt; &lt;center&gt;&lt;object height="135" width="370" data="http://bigcontact.com/feed-player?r=0&amp;#38;t=2000&amp;#38;xmlurl=http://feeds.feedburner.com/2old2type" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"&gt; &lt;param value="best" name="quality" /&gt; &lt;param value="window" name="wmode" /&gt; &lt;param value="always" name="allowScriptAccess" /&gt; &lt;param value="true" name="allowFullScreen" /&gt; &lt;param value="initialview=info" name="FlashVars" /&gt; &lt;param value="http://bigcontact.com/feed-player?r=0&amp;#38;t=2000&amp;#38;xmlurl=http://feeds.feedburner.com/2old2type" name="movie" /&gt;&lt;/object&gt; &lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt; &lt;div class="podlink"&gt;&lt;a href="http://traffic.libsyn.com/dsmooth/2old2type_Episode_133__The_Maltese_or_just_Malted_Falcon.mp3"&gt;Direct Download&lt;/a&gt; | &lt;a href="modules.php?name=Radio"&gt;Subscribe Now&lt;/a&gt; | &lt;a href="modules.php?name=Radio"&gt;What Is 2old2type?&lt;/a&gt; | &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/2old2type"&gt;RSS Feed&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;div class="synd"&gt;&lt;a href="http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=78057900"&gt;&lt;img alt="" src="http://ax.phobos.apple.com.edgesuite.net/images/badgeitunes61x15dark.gif" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="zune://subscribe/?2old2type Radio=http://feeds.feedburner.com/2old2type"&gt;&lt;img alt="" src="http://www.2old2play.com/images/zune.jpg" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;h3&gt;(773) 527-2961&lt;br /&gt; &lt;a href="mailto:podcast@2old2play.com"&gt;podcast@2old2play.com&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/h3&gt; &lt;/center&gt; &lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?a=8BfoUZ_-WXo:vUoYSZ1rJA4:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?a=8BfoUZ_-WXo:vUoYSZ1rJA4:63t7Ie-LG7Y"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?d=63t7Ie-LG7Y" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?a=8BfoUZ_-WXo:vUoYSZ1rJA4:7Q72WNTAKBA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?d=7Q72WNTAKBA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/div&gt;</description> <guid isPermaLink="false">1954@http://www.2old2play.com</guid> <dc:subject>2old2play Podcasts</dc:subject> <dc:date>2010-08-27T07:33:51-04:00</dc:date> <dc:creator>Posted by DSmooth</dc:creator> <feedburner:origLink>http://www.2old2play.com/modules.php?name=News&amp;file=article&amp;sid=1954</feedburner:origLink></item> <item> <title>2old2play Thanks LAN Donors for Child's Play!</title> <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/2old2play/~3/bxUmloFsyZk/modules.php</link> <description>&lt;p&gt;We just wanted to take this time to publicly thank the people at Microsoft, Sony, Sega, Gearbox, Popcap, and Tritton for donating all they did in support of the 2old2play LAN and the Child's Play Charity.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Each year we ask for support from industry leaders within the gaming world and while our LAN may not be the biggest out there, we still manage to aid our &lt;a href="http://www.childsplaycharity.org/"&gt;favorite charity&lt;/a&gt; with the help from these giving companies. This year was no different and their generosity, as well as our members, help to bring in over $1,000 dollars at the raffle.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;This type of support is why we all love the gaming world so much. We have seen countless acts of kindness in our time here on 2old2play and year after year it never ceases to amaze me. So on behalf of all the staff and members here at 2old2play, we would just like to take the time to say thank you. Thanks for the great gear, memorabilia, and most of all the support for our community. Without companies like yours, the 2old2play LAN could never have been a success.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Check out some photos below of our raffle table. You can see some really cool stuff like the Tritton back pack, signed copies for Borderlands (by the devs) and more. Also, thanks to Avery over at Microsoft for the signs. They were a big hit!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;As always if you want to help the charity out on your own, visit &lt;a href="http://www.childsplaycharity.org/"&gt;Child's Play Charity&lt;/a&gt; for more information!!!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;img width="500" alt="" src="http://i428.photobucket.com/albums/qq5/Automan21k/LAN%202010/096-1.jpg" /&gt;&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;img width="500" alt="" src="http://i428.photobucket.com/albums/qq5/Automan21k/LAN%202010/098.jpg" /&gt;&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;img width="500" alt="" src="http://i428.photobucket.com/albums/qq5/Automan21k/LAN%202010/101.jpg" /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?a=bxUmloFsyZk:Wiozn4o4wHk:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?a=bxUmloFsyZk:Wiozn4o4wHk:63t7Ie-LG7Y"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?d=63t7Ie-LG7Y" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?a=bxUmloFsyZk:Wiozn4o4wHk:7Q72WNTAKBA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?d=7Q72WNTAKBA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/div&gt;</description> <guid isPermaLink="false">1953@http://www.2old2play.com</guid> <dc:subject>News</dc:subject> <dc:date>2010-08-23T16:32:15-04:00</dc:date> <dc:creator>Posted by doodirock</dc:creator> <feedburner:origLink>http://www.2old2play.com/modules.php?name=News&amp;file=article&amp;sid=1953</feedburner:origLink></item> <item> <title>The Sixth Annual Lannie Awards</title> <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/2old2play/~3/iBFhpRHbJp0/modules.php</link> <description>&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Yes, the &lt;/em&gt;awards&lt;em&gt;. You knew there were going to be awards, did you not? What's that? Oh, yes, they're like achievements on Xbox Live, only for things you do in real life that actually &lt;/em&gt;matter&lt;em&gt;. &lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Welcome back everyone to this week's addition of "Smarter Then You."  While I know everyone has a lot of questions about the upcoming release of &lt;a href="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/dlnsb/absolut-bullshit2.jpg"&gt;2o2p V3&lt;/a&gt;, we need to shift gears slightly because it is that time of the year again!  Just like we have every year since its inception and just like we will &lt;a href="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/dlnsb/absolut-bullshit2.jpg"&gt;every year forever&lt;/a&gt;, it's time for us to round up the activities of the Chitown LAN and recognize those site members that made it special.  We do want to do things a little bit differently so instead of &lt;a href="http://www.2old2play.com/modules.php?name=News&amp;#38;file=article&amp;#38;sid=97"&gt;shamelessly pumping up read statistics for old posts&lt;/a&gt; we have painstakingly polled the &lt;a href="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/dlnsb/sheep.jpg"&gt;rank-and-file&lt;/a&gt; to make sure that these really are the people's results.  &lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; We also shamelessly stole people's pictures and are not giving them credit.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; And the first Award of the Year...&lt;br /&gt; &lt;b&gt;&lt;br /&gt; Most-Time-Making-Sure-Everyone-Knows-I-Have-An-iPhone:&lt;/b&gt; The Winner Is &lt;a href="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/dlnsb/Caesar.jpg"&gt;Caesar!&lt;/a&gt; Caesar easily could have also won the coveted &lt;b&gt;Most-Decorated-Award&lt;/b&gt; as well because he also won, &lt;b&gt;Worst-Abuse-OTC-Stimulants-&lt;a href="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/dlnsb/CaseofRedBull.jpg"&gt;Open Division&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/b&gt;, tied for first with BC, Beldar and Team Canada for&lt;b&gt; Most-Delusional&lt;/b&gt;, as well as, &lt;b&gt;Biggest-Heart-As-Long-As-He-Wasn't-Getting-Stomped-In-Some-Esoteric-MLG-Warm-Up-Variant-Then-Sulking-For-Thirty-Minutes&lt;/b&gt;.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;b&gt;Worst-Effort-at-Estimating-Monitor-Usage&lt;/b&gt;:  In a shocking upset (to some) the award goes to &lt;a href="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/dlnsb/033.jpg"&gt;Doodirock&lt;/a&gt;.  While many wanted to pin the debacle on Taxi, more informed LAN goers are well aware that he's not &lt;i&gt;really &lt;/i&gt;Asian.  Therefore his math estimates should carry no more weight than say, a girl.  In addition to effectively &lt;a href="http://www.2old2play.com/News/Chicago_LAN_Ending_This_August_2010"&gt;killing all fun forever&lt;/a&gt;, Doodi also managed to manufacture plausible reasons for running more auctions, raffles, fund-raising drives and &lt;a href="http://www.funnyjunk.com/funny_gifs/19260/Bikini+fat+guy/"&gt;bikini car washes&lt;/a&gt; while producing no measurable results.  Calls to "Media Crumb" to inform them of the award went largely unanswered until 9:00 AM Delhi time when a man with very broken English explained that hey had never heard of "Joel Albert."&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;b&gt;Best-Person-At-Making-You-Feel-At-Home (As long as "home" for you included a largely absent father figure that only stopped ignoring you long enough to make palpable their very real sense that everything you did was not good enough and that without you their life would have been better&lt;/b&gt;): For a fifth consecutive year the winner is &lt;a href="http://drost./"&gt;Drost-&lt;/a&gt; Despite some stiff competition from &lt;a href="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/dlnsb/4873036385_72a9d6fcb5.jpg"&gt;Dean&lt;/a&gt;, who is seen here in the T-shirt his wife made him wear to appear more approachable but who is contemplating what, exactly, those young people think they are doing.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;b&gt;Worst Upset&lt;/b&gt;:  After spending most of 2009 and 2010 ordering "power band" upgrades for his Soloflex and taking delivery of HGH from a "guy that knew Lance Armstrong", &lt;a href="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/dlnsb/WorstUpset.jpg"&gt;Dixon Tufar&lt;/a&gt; had to suffer the indignity of being upstaged in the &lt;b&gt;ridiculous muscular development &lt;/b&gt;category by Taxi's old friend from D-Block, Jay.  Jay is &lt;a href="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/dlnsb/MultipleShotBannerJayandBC.jpg"&gt;seen here&lt;/a&gt; explaining to BC just how much more likely his survival will be on the "Great Day of Cleansing" when "hippie mistakes" are removed from the gene pool and the rightful order of meritocracy is reestablished for all time.  I'm comfortable disclosing all of this because doodi promised me there would be no more LANs.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;b&gt;Best Clan Banner&lt;/b&gt;:  Despite low entry turnout, competition in this category has never been tougher.  Perennial favorite &lt;a href="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/dlnsb/Banner2.jpg"&gt;Profanity&lt;/a&gt; made a strong showing as did the artfully mounted newcomers &lt;a href="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/dlnsb/Banner1.jpg"&gt;2old2shoot&lt;/a&gt;.  Ultimately though it was the skillful use of improvised medium and chiaroscuro to define the negative space and encapsulate the gestalt of their clan that won the day for &lt;a href="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/dlnsb/BestBanner.jpg"&gt;Digital Violence&lt;/a&gt;.&lt;b&gt; &lt;/b&gt;Nice work boys.  Way to represent!&lt;br /&gt; &lt;b&gt;&lt;br /&gt; Most Needy&lt;/b&gt;:  It was not even close this year.  It might have been desperate cries of help such as the inordinate amount of "bribing likker" he &lt;a href="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/dlnsb/001.jpg"&gt;brought&lt;/a&gt;.  It could have been the &lt;a href="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/dlnsb/024.jpg"&gt;unholy amount of gear&lt;/a&gt; he packed, transported and spent hours unloading and setting up in a bid to make himself feel "important." However, ultimately it was this &lt;a href="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/dlnsb/031.jpg"&gt;little act of rebellion&lt;/a&gt; that won Rau the prize.  Truth be told, this chiropractic table that sat outside our conference room for three days was begging for it.  We all thought about riding the pony but only Rau sacked up and did it.  I'm completely jealous. That picture is a double scoop of sweet with awesome sauce on the side.  &lt;a href="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/dlnsb/031.jpg"&gt;Check it out again...&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;b&gt;Most Improved Score:&lt;/b&gt; This year's winner has had previous comments from our confidential Post-LAN evaluations that have ranged from "kind of a cold fish," (DSmooth), to "stuck-up bitch," (Markus), to "who?" (Phreaks).  This year, rocking awesome scores like "not so bad once you get to know her," and "smelled better this year," &lt;a href="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/dlnsb/TDRAG1.jpg"&gt;TDrag &lt;/a&gt;rocketed all the way to the top of the bottom third of popularity amongst the site's 16,000 members.  Experts are projecting that the 2010 Fall Season could see her cracking the fiftieth percentile!  Way to go Tara!&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;b&gt;Why-The-LAN-is-Awesome-Award:&lt;/b&gt;  Could have gone to this amazing entry of &lt;a href="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/dlnsb/4873037917_f6727ed800_z.jpg"&gt;duct-tape-pwnage&lt;/a&gt;.  It could also easily have been Emminnent who, in addition to taking the time to have an overly specific ironic t-shirt made to &lt;a href="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/dlnsb/Emminent.jpg"&gt;ridicule&lt;/a&gt; a clan mate, also remembered to pack a dress shirt so he could raid the open bar at one of Saturday's weddings.  It could even have gone to whatever retarded juvenile brought a water balloon slingshot for &lt;a href="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/dlnsb/Slingshot.jpg"&gt;late night shenanigans&lt;/a&gt;. Ultimately, though it's the little things.  Here is one of those gags that will &lt;a href="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/dlnsb/BestThingAboutTheLAN.jpg"&gt;never happen over XBL.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;b&gt;Biggest Mooch:&lt;/b&gt;  No surprises here either...As a veteran of six LANs and a skilled practitioner in the fine art of surviving on box cheese, untended beers and floor wings, BC "you going to eat that?" Kinetic wrapped up a second consecutive award in the mooching hall-of-fame. &lt;a href="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/dlnsb/Mooch1.jpg"&gt;Seen here&lt;/a&gt; monopolizing someone else's rig to play a singleplayer game at a LAN Party (while a line of people wait for the money he owes them), BC also deserves the award for once again exposing this year's &lt;a href="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/dlnsb/LANDoormat-1.jpg"&gt;LAN Doormat&lt;/a&gt;, killthrash.  After only eight minutes of wheedling killthrash secured &lt;i&gt;his &lt;/i&gt;award by parting with several hundred dollars' worth gaming gear that his mom bought him for his birthday.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;b&gt;Saddest Table At The LAN:&lt;/b&gt; There was a time when WoW addicts proudly reigned at the LAN as the &lt;a href="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/dlnsb/DSCN2074.jpg"&gt;Uber geeks of a geekdom&lt;/a&gt;.  This year though, as the &lt;a href="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/dlnsb/SaddestTable.jpg"&gt;sadly depleted ranks&lt;/a&gt; slogged their way for the three hundredth time through the same raid without speaking to one another we were all reminded of the glory that was Rome.  The last three people on the planet playing WoW, who are not employed by a North Korean Gold Farming Collective, shuffled lifelessly through the weekend's events and recoiled sharply whenever exposed to natural light. Where are you when we need you Jack Kevorkian?&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Most Surprised:&lt;/b&gt;  &lt;a href="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/dlnsb/MostSurprised-1.jpg"&gt;Bubba&lt;/a&gt;.  There is nothing like returning home and seeing irrefutable photographic evidence of your rapid descent in to old age and decrepitude to send you in to a shame spiral of comfort food, relentless masturbation and inconsolable weeping.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Finally, the Award you waited all year for, the Grand Daddy of them All!!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;Attention Whore of the Year&lt;/b&gt;:  As per usual there was no shortage of people to choose from this year.  The perennial 2o2p "Susan Lucci" of attention whoredom &lt;a href="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/dlnsb/010.jpg"&gt;TaxiSquad27&lt;/a&gt; made his usual strong bid but may need to settle for a "sorry-we-never-got-to-you-lifetime-achievement-award."  First time nominee MNvikesfan made a surprisingly strong challenge as well this year by breaking the seal for the hopelessly depraved alcoholics in attendance and ordering the first of many &lt;a href="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/dlnsb/016.jpg"&gt;sport drinking props&lt;/a&gt;.  Ironically though it was the Farvre-esque performance by the queen of drama at 2o2p that would overshadow MNvikesfan's  inaugural effort.  With his on-again-off-again-aw-shucks-toe-dragging-attendance plans, fashionably late arrival, and refusal to move from a single spot requiring LAN attendees to pay homage in his court,  for This Year, For Every Year, Undisputed, Undefeated, Attention Whore For All Time Award Goes &lt;a href="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/dlnsb/AttentionWhore.jpg"&gt;To...&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;I'll be back &lt;a href="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/dlnsb/absolut-bullshit2.jpg"&gt;next week&lt;/a&gt; with the regular quality Q&amp;#38;A Feature you have all come to love and respect.  Until then, feel free to check out &lt;a href="http://www.2old2play.com/modules.php?name=Forums&amp;#38;file=viewtopic&amp;#38;t=64081"&gt;all of the photos&lt;/a&gt; from this Year's Last and Final Chitown LAN.  Post up your own stuff or just grab some and make up your own snarky awards.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;Oh yeah, DSmooth was there.  Even with a &lt;a href="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y247/dlnsb/LeastFriends.jpg"&gt;table full of prizes&lt;/a&gt; in front of him nobody would talk to him.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?a=iBFhpRHbJp0:XmkFdNC9uII:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?a=iBFhpRHbJp0:XmkFdNC9uII:63t7Ie-LG7Y"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?d=63t7Ie-LG7Y" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?a=iBFhpRHbJp0:XmkFdNC9uII:7Q72WNTAKBA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?d=7Q72WNTAKBA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/div&gt;</description> <guid isPermaLink="false">1952@http://www.2old2play.com</guid> <dc:subject>News</dc:subject> <dc:date>2010-08-20T02:25:53-04:00</dc:date> <dc:creator>Posted by Drost</dc:creator> <feedburner:origLink>http://www.2old2play.com/modules.php?name=News&amp;file=article&amp;sid=1952</feedburner:origLink></item> <item> <title>Community Pulse Episode 10: Absolute Terror</title> <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/2old2play/~3/QHwOHrZrU8s/modules.php</link> <description>&lt;p&gt;This week 2old2play's community guest is the site's unofficial lady diva TDrag27. Listen as we discuss the Chicago LAN, running a clan, and the hardships of keeping clans together when game popularity changes.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;img hspace="8" height="120" align="left" width="120" vspace="7" src="http://www.2old2play.com/images/radio/cp-final.jpg" alt="" /&gt;Your hosts Caesar, LB, and Drost discuss the Chicago LAN from its' inception to the final event next week at the Chicago Marriot O'hare.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; If you have information about a 2old2play event or clan you think the community would be interested in, use &lt;a href="http://www.2old2play.com/modules.php?name=Forums&amp;#38;file=viewtopic&amp;#38;p=595490#595490"&gt;this forum post.&lt;/a&gt; and leave us the info!&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt; &lt;center&gt;&lt;object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="480" height="310" data="http://bigcontact.com/feed-player/23343_24659/r:0;t:2000"&gt; &lt;param name="quality" value="best" /&gt; &lt;param name="wmode" value="window" /&gt; &lt;param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /&gt; &lt;param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /&gt; &lt;param name="movie" value="http://bigcontact.com/feed-player/23343_24659/r:0;t:2000" /&gt; &lt;/object&gt; &lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt; &lt;div class="podlink"&gt;&lt;a href="http://www.gamer-grafix.com/2old2play/cp/cp-episode-10.mp3"&gt;Direct Download&lt;/a&gt; | &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/2o2pCommunityPulse"&gt;Subscribe Now&lt;/a&gt; | &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/2o2pCommunityPulse"&gt;What Is Community Pulse?&lt;/a&gt; | &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/2o2pCommunityPulse"&gt;RSS Feed&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;/center&gt; &lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?a=QHwOHrZrU8s:O-x0Lotdz8w:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?a=QHwOHrZrU8s:O-x0Lotdz8w:63t7Ie-LG7Y"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?d=63t7Ie-LG7Y" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?a=QHwOHrZrU8s:O-x0Lotdz8w:7Q72WNTAKBA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?d=7Q72WNTAKBA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/div&gt;</description> <guid isPermaLink="false">1951@http://www.2old2play.com</guid> <dc:subject>2old2play Podcasts</dc:subject> <dc:date>2010-08-16T14:03:28-04:00</dc:date> <dc:creator>Posted by doodirock</dc:creator> <feedburner:origLink>http://www.2old2play.com/modules.php?name=News&amp;file=article&amp;sid=1951</feedburner:origLink></item> <item> <title>2old2type Ep 132: LANinated</title> <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/2old2play/~3/5-07Z4XvGE8/modules.php</link> <description>&lt;p&gt;2old2type Radio Episode 132, the official podcast of 2old2play.com, has been posted and is ready for your listening pleasure. Read on for more information.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;img hspace="8" height="120" align="left" width="120" vspace="7" alt="" src="http://www.2old2play.com/images/2old2type_new2.jpg" /&gt;The boys took a week off last week due to the 6th Annual 2old2play Chicago LAN, but DSmooth and Codemonkey are back this week and kicking ass. They cover the LAN, the top gaming news stories of the week, the new releases, and a bunch of listener feedback. Overall, an awesome episode... And remember, you can always call the boys at (773) 527-2961 and weigh in yourself...&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; If you'd like to post comments on this episode, or questions for the next one, feel free to use &lt;a href="http://www.2old2play.com/modules.php?name=Forums&amp;#38;file=viewtopic&amp;#38;t=64343"&gt;this forum post.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; Please check out our sponsors: &lt;a href="http://www.pntra.com/t/R0BFR0xIRkBHRklFRUBGTEtISw"&gt;&lt;img height="31" border="0" width="88" alt="Net Nanny - The Internet's Best Content Filter" src="http://www.pntra.com/b/R0BFR0xIRkBHRklFRUBGTEtISw" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href="http://gan.doubleclick.net/gan_click?lid=41000000031556414&amp;#38;pubid=21000000000249316"&gt;&lt;img border="0" alt="Netflix, Inc." src="http://clickserve.cc-dt.com/link/tplimage?lid=41000000030310781&amp;#38;pubid=21000000000249316" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a target="_top" href="http://www.anrdoezrs.net/click-2763466-10379068"&gt;&lt;img height="31" width="88" alt="www.godaddy.com" src="http://www.awltovhc.com/image-2763466-10379068" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt; &lt;center&gt;&lt;object height="135" width="370" data="http://bigcontact.com/feed-player?r=0&amp;#38;t=2000&amp;#38;xmlurl=http://feeds.feedburner.com/2old2type" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"&gt; &lt;param name="quality" value="best" /&gt; &lt;param name="wmode" value="window" /&gt; &lt;param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /&gt; &lt;param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /&gt; &lt;param name="FlashVars" value="initialview=info" /&gt; &lt;param name="movie" value="http://bigcontact.com/feed-player?r=0&amp;#38;t=2000&amp;#38;xmlurl=http://feeds.feedburner.com/2old2type" /&gt;&lt;/object&gt; &lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt; &lt;div class="podlink"&gt;&lt;a href="http://traffic.libsyn.com/dsmooth/2old2type_Episode_132__LANinated.mp3"&gt;Direct Download&lt;/a&gt; | &lt;a href="modules.php?name=Radio"&gt;Subscribe Now&lt;/a&gt; | &lt;a href="modules.php?name=Radio"&gt;What Is 2old2type?&lt;/a&gt; | &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/2old2type"&gt;RSS Feed&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;div class="synd"&gt;&lt;a href="http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=78057900"&gt;&lt;img alt="" src="http://ax.phobos.apple.com.edgesuite.net/images/badgeitunes61x15dark.gif" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="zune://subscribe/?2old2type Radio=http://feeds.feedburner.com/2old2type"&gt;&lt;img alt="" src="http://www.2old2play.com/images/zune.jpg" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;h3&gt;(773) 527-2961&lt;br /&gt; &lt;a href="mailto:podcast@2old2play.com"&gt;podcast@2old2play.com&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/h3&gt; &lt;/center&gt; &lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt; &lt;p&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?a=5-07Z4XvGE8:8-su4LGlnMY:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?a=5-07Z4XvGE8:8-su4LGlnMY:63t7Ie-LG7Y"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?d=63t7Ie-LG7Y" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?a=5-07Z4XvGE8:8-su4LGlnMY:7Q72WNTAKBA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/2old2play?d=7Q72WNTAKBA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/div&gt;</description> <guid isPermaLink="false">1950@http://www.2old2play.com</guid> <dc:subject>2old2play Podcasts</dc:subject> <dc:date>2010-08-13T07:33:22-04:00</dc:date> <dc:creator>Posted by DSmooth</dc:creator> <feedburner:origLink>http://www.2old2play.com/modules.php?name=News&amp;file=article&amp;sid=1950</feedburner:origLink></item> </channel> </rss>
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So, yeah, I guess Walla had some trouble with Xbox Customer Service a while back. Probably an isolated incident, right?

Hello, friend. 

I am here today to talk about something important. This situation can impact your family, your friends and maybe your very own Xbox -- customer disservice. I would like to regale you with a tale of my telephonic trip to the Philippines. It’s a classic story of boy needs help, boy gets help, help pours sugar in the boy's gas tank and then sleeps with his best friend. So hike up your reading glasses and enjoy a story, some philosophy and pinch of business.

 
It was a dark and stormy night. The email glared at me like the fiery eyes of monster from a child’s fairy tale. 
 
“Subject : Automatic Renewal Notification for Xbox 12 mo. Gold Membership”
 
You bastard. Why now? Why me? The financial demands of being sole supporter of a family of four during an economic fire sale have left me broken. Add the mounting vet bills from my wife’s obviously dying cat and you have yourself in quite a jam.
 
You see, I own two gamertags. The first is my primary tag, let’s call it “Walladog” for the sake of the discussion. The second we can call “WallaJr”. The second tag is for my 11-year-old son. So much as I would like to give Microsoft the bum’s rush … I was stuck with two. Walladog was renewed in December and I paid $49.99 for a 1 year gold membership. WallaJR was due to expire on June 7th.
 
Aha! Amazon to the rescue. Be still my heart, $39.99 for a 1-year prepaid subscription card. I ordered, they shipped (free!) There was much rejoicing.
 
The card arrives and in the middle of a busy day at work I decide to knock this item off the to-do list. I sign in to Xbox.com, enter my code and add the card to my account. Dust off my hands and wait for the joy of a job well done to roll over me.
 
Then it hits me, I signed into the wrong account! Holy ass crackers…I just put the card on the wrong account! Walladog still had six months left and I just added another year. WallaJr was still going to expire in a week.
 
As I let the depression, anxiety and remorse wash over me, a fire began to grow. It started as a spark and then the flame got bigger. No world … not today! Fuck, No! thank you very kindly … if you want me … you will have to come and get me! I am not going succumb to the Universe’s recent attempts to destroy me! If the virus infected computer, dying cat, screaming child, itchy eyes, financial ruin, psychotic neighbors and in-laws haven’t pushed me over the edge yet, nothing can.
 
Xbox Live support has always been helpful in the past…yeah…that’s it…I will call 1-800-4-MYXBO begin_of_the_skype_highlighting              1-800-4-MYXBOX      end_of_the_skype_highlightingX. Sure, sure, they can fix this. Then it will all be fine. Aaaall fine.
 
So I call. I have to talk to the computer first. You know the one:
 
Computer: “So our representatives can better assist you, please say what you need help with.”
 
Me: “Erectile dysfunction”
 
Computer: “I’m sorry, I didn’t get that. Did you say…Xbox malfunction?”
 
Me: “No thank you. It gives me gas.”
 
Computer: “Hmm. I still didn’t get that. You can say Repairs, Technical Support or Accounts and Billing.”
 
Me: “Okay, accounts and billing”
 
While I am holding for the next available representative I ponder the miracle of technology. My call is racing through fiber optic lines to another human being whose job it is to help me.  Wow, little old me! Helping the economy with my hard earned dollars by creating a need that leads to a job. I rock.
 
Rep: “Thank you calling Xbox Live Support, my name Sally how I help you?”
 
Me: “Hi Sally, my wife says I’m beyond help but how about we give it a try?”
 
I find that warming up someone on the phone tends to get you more goodwill. So I am smiling and trying to be polite and fun. Unfortunately “Sally” spoke something that was not "English." So as a result, witty reparte = FAIL.
 
Sally: “Ahhhhhh. Ok. Very goooood. Can you tell me what problem is so I help you?”
 
I explain that I redeemed my prepaid card on the wrong gamertag. I politely ask if it is even possible for them to help me. I understand if they cannot because the error was in fact, mine. But on the off chance that this happens all the time and its no big deal I thought I would call.
 
Sally: “I see. Okaaaay. I just need to verify information so I help you. Okaaaaay?”
 
Me: “Sure, fire away.”
 
Sally: “Can I get gamertag?”
 
Me: “W A L L A D O G”
 
Sally: “Greeeaaat. Okaaay. Please hold on while I verify……..Okaaay, thank you….hold on while verify……okaaay….thank you…okaaay?”
 
We then repeat this drill with my name, my address, then my email, then the phone number, then the last four digits of the credit card on file, and still she needs to verify (Okaaaaaay?).
 
Sally: “When you set up account, you choose secret question. What answer to secret question?”
 
Seriously? Let me take a moment to be grumpy. What the hell is with all the secret questions? Is it really a security measure? I mean with social networking sites and the amount of data available online these days, if I am stealing your identity you can bet your ass I know your mother’s maiden name, your social, your birthdate and your favorite ice cream.
 
And another thing, ask a question that isn’t subjective! Who is my favorite author? Well hell, five years ago when I set up the account it may have been Tom Clancy. Today though I haven’t read a Clancy book in four years and my favorite author is Isaac Asimov!
 
My secret question was : What was your first car?
 
Awww douche nozzles.  The first car I drove (Dad can I have the car tonight?), the first car that was Mine (an old beater gifted to me at 19) or the first car I bought myself (which consequently was a neon blue Geo Metro (I was engaged at the time…suck it haters!).
 
I took a stab at the answers but none of them were correct in the eyes of “Sally”.
 
Sally proceeds to tell me that if I have access to the internet I can sign into my Windows Live logon and see this info. I do, and then I do, but I cannot see the answer to the question. It does however let me change the question.
 
Me: “So Sally, it says here I can pick a new question. Can I just reset this to a new question and answer, then give you that?”
 
Sally: “Suuure. Yeeees. Okaaaay?”
 
So I do. I wait for Sally to get the update over the internets and bam! Sally asks me the new question, I give her verbatim the answer I just typed into the screen.
 
Me: “So Sally, let me ask you something. We have been on the phone almost fifteen minutes now and we are still trying to establish my identity. Doesn’t this seem a little over the top to you?”
 
Sally: “I understand your concern apprehensive. This is our policy for protect you!”
 
Me: “But Sally, if I was NOT the real Walladog, but I obviously have enough information to access his account and see the security questions, isn’t it kind of pointless in going through the exercise of asking for it?”
 
Sally: “I understand your concern apprehensive. This is our….”
 
Me: “It’s cool Sally. Don’t get worked up about it.”
 
So almost 20 minutes into this call we finally are ready to get down to brass tacks. I explain the issue in detail to Sally. Here is where I take a good long full on run at the language barrier with my balls out. BANG! Yup. That hurt. Sally has no idea what I’m talking about. I do what all American’s are taught to do when facing a linguistic hurdle, talk louder. Nope. Still nothing.
 
At about the 35 minute mark she has put me on hold three times and said, “Okaaaay, let just verify sooomethiiiing….okaaay? There, hold … let just verify sooomethiiiing … okay?” like she was getting paid for the phrase.
 
Success! Sally says no problem. She will cancel the 1-year prepaid card that was applied to Walladog. Then I will get an email with a new token (5x5 code) for 1-year that I can use on the WallaJr account.
 
Me: “This is excellent Sally. Thank you for helping me. I really appreciate it. Now just to be sure, when you say cancel the Walladog … it’s just the 1-year card right? This isn’t going to cancel my account or my gamertag? I mean, the world has taken so much from me, if it took gaming too I might just go over the edge and start a cult.”
 
Sally: “Hold on…let me verify….Thaaank Youuu. Hold on….yes. This only cancel 1-year card, then you get token in email”
 
I have another short hold where I have to confirm everything with her supervisor to finish the process. I am out of the call at the 43-minute mark. Not bad I suppose. I didn’t want to spend 43 minutes on it but hey, my problem got solved! Take that world, a big old Walladog teabag in your face!
 
Then I felt a shift in the Universe. As if the Universe heard my taunt and responded with, “Oh no no no no little man….up…YOURS!”
 
I sign on to Xbox.com and check my Walladog account. “Upgrade to Gold Now!?” WTF? Oh yeah! Walladog, which I had renewed in December for one year was now listed as expired. 
 
Back to the phones.
 
Computer: “So our representatives can better assist you, please say what you need help with.”
 
Me: “Somebody lied to me and completely took a dump on my self esteem.”
 
Computer: “Did you say Enforcement Team?”
 
Me: “You know what, it doesn’t even really matter anymore. I don’t know why I bother talking to you. It’s like you are listening but you aren’t HEARING me. See, you are doing it now! I mean, I respect you but half of me wants to just hang up and never talk to you again while the other half of me wonders, what are you thinking about?”
 
Computer: “I’m sorry, I didn’t understand your response. Please try again.”
 
Me: “You are impossible. I hate you. It’s over.”
 
Computer: “Please hold for the next available representative.”
 
So, basically you can cut and paste the first 35 minutes of the last phone call. I spend 15 minutes establishing my identity and another 15 trying to communicate what the situation was during the first call. Finally we move on to the matter at hand.
 
I explain that there has been an error. My entire account has been cancelled. I would like it fixed and fixed immediately.
 
Sally2.0: “Meester Boogaloo, I understand you frustration and I feel frustrations too also if it were I. I can definitely sympathy with your very much situation.”
 
Me: “Huh?”
 
Sally2.0: “Pleeease hold while verification information.”
 
Me: “Can you put the computer back on?”
 
They basically transfer me through two supervisors to tell me don’t worry; they are sending me a code.
 
Me: “I know. Steve, Sally2.0, you guys have been great. I know that my 1-year card was cancelled. I KNOW that you are going to email me a token for another one. What I don’t know is how you are going to fix the account that was already paid for and now is cancelled?”
 
Steve: “Meeester Bangladesh, we send email token code to replace.”
 
Me: “But you now essentially owe me for a year and half?”
 
Steve: “Meester Blumpkin, we send code for 1-year and half then.”
 
Me: “Steve, that does seem to square things. However, if I use the code I will have 18 months on WallaJr and still 0 months on Walladog. How do we fix this?”
 
Steve : “Meester Bilbo, hold while verification…..”
 
Steve: “Meester Boxlightner we send TWO codes.”
 
Me: “Okay Steve, now we are cutting to the quick!”
 
Steve: “Cut quick?”
 
Me: “Never mind Steve. Will this reset my seniority tag on my account? Because I dig my little six on my gamer tag.”
 
Steve: “Hold while verification…”
 
Steve: “Meester Badonkadonk, I have a non answer to that. You will have an email to coming to you to code token in your account within the next 5 to 7 business day.”
 
Me: “Steve, I don’t think I heard you right. It sounded like you said that one of your people screwed up my account and now I can’t play on Xbox Live for the next week. There has to be a way to escalate this right? A way to go to the next level so I can remedy the situation?”
 
Steve: “Meester Bukakke, we not that can do here. All we have power is to submit notes to Microsoft, then they are to processing them.”
 
Me: “Can we call them? I mean help me out here Steve. Do you have a number for support in the United States? Where are you anyway?”
 
Steve: “Meester Bumbaclot, we are located in the Philippines. We have no numbers for any other service center areas.”
 
Me: “Steve, why are you giving me the High Hat?”
 
Steve: “Huh?”
 
Me: “The Bum’s Rush”
 
Steve: “What?”
 
Me: “I feel like a pig in a poke.”
 
Total call time was around 58 minutes. I actually made a third call that lasted around forty-six minutes but it ended the same way. I asked at the beginning if they could tell me if anything could be done, because if NOT then I didn’t want to wait through the 15-minute process of establishing my identity. I got suckered in and fell for it again to no avail.
 
As a side note, much of the broken English here was not sexy broken English. I could, for example, read all of the above dialogue in a sexy Russian voice like Boris and Natasha from the Rocky & Bullwinkle Show. Then it would be hot. No, this was more the jilted Philippine variety of broken English.
 
Let me be clear, I harbor no ill will to the people of the Philippines. Nor do I have a problem with the fact that the people I was in contact with could not speak English very well. My issue would be with the corporate culture that thinks this is a viable cost cutting measure.
 
In my example I have to believe that the entire matter could have been handled in much less time. My estimation would be under ten minutes. If I was talking to a native English speaking person I believe we could have communicated all the information and resolved the issue in as little as five minutes. They would have understood my concerns and probably told me there was no way to undo the 1-year card without messing up the Walladog account. I would have said thank you for the time and ordered another card from Amazon.
 
So, one would have to assume that whatever savings were garnered by moving the call center to the Philippines were then quickly lost in the volume of call time. They paid less per minute of service but we are comparing a potential five-minute call to the 147 minute call. Let me check the math on this:
 
Assume a native English speaking representative here in the states costs $11.00 per hour. (not what they make, but cost to Microsoft)
 
Assume a representative in the Philippines costs $1.00 per hour.
 
$11.00 per hour X 5 minutes = $0.916
 
$1.00 per hour X 147 minutes = $2.45
 
Okay, I officially don’t get it. I think the $11.00 per hour is a pretty average figure for low level phone reps. $1.00 per hour might be wishful thinking, and if the actual costs of infrastructure to give them a presence in the billing systems is more then equation becomes even more unbalanced.
 
I mean, look; I am a fan of business. I am a capitalist and an entrepreneur. As such I have a certain admiration for Microsoft. You may not like all of their decisions or products but you can’t deny that they have built a business empire the likes of which the world has never seen. I applaud their restraint. Had I been in Mr. Gates’ position I might have just bought a large section of the country and made my own nation called Windows Land.
 
To that end, I have never had a problem paying for Xbox Live. When I first found out about it on the original Xbox I was excited. The prospect of playing online, with a stable dedicated network was excellent value for under $50 a year. It even drove me to get high speed internet at my home just so I could be ready for when I signed up for Xbox Live.
 
I have felt that the online experience I pay for is a good value and better experience than any other console offers. This sort of customer service issue though makes great strides in devaluing the service in my mind. I own two 360s and maintain two Live accounts. I buy Microsoft products, I spend probably $20 per week on average in Mspoints for online content and I even refrained from griping too loud about the seven Xbox 360 replacements I have had to endure. I am a good customer right?
 
So why would you try to alienate me? Even worse, I can’t even say you did it to save money. It looks like it probably cost you MORE!
 
In the end it is much less about real value then it is about perceived value. Since Microsoft has a popular product everyone wants they can afford to ruffle your feathers. They know you are going to be back for a hit of the good stuff tomorrow. So as my perceived value of Xbox Live was just taken down a few notches, I am left to wonder:
 
Does Microsoft feel they are just too good to worry about caring?
 
                                    Or
 
Have they become so big that they no longer have the capacity to care?
 
It is an interesting dilemma. If a grown man walks across a restaurant and takes my newspaper off my table to read the comics…there would be some words. If a 4-year-old child at the next table does the same thing I would laugh and make faces. The difference is that one person knows how to act and chooses not to while the other know no better and just acts.
 
So should I roll up my sleeves and start a fight or forgive them their trespasses because it is the price we pay for having such a giant supplier of technology?
 
 
Follow Up: The next day I received a call from Xbox Live support confirming my email address. I was sent a code for a 1-year subscription and two codes for a 3-month subscription. I am still waiting to see if my anniversary date was reset.

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2old2play's own Derek "DSmooth" Nolan hosted a panel on 'Online Gaming Communities and "Real Life" Relationships' at PAX 2010 this year. Read on for more info and full video of the panel.

So PAX is over, and it was full of lots of good games, announcements, parties and panels. After the success of hosting the same panel at PAX East, DSmooth swapped out panelists and did it again for a packed room at PAX Prime.

Panelists included:

Derek "DSmooth" Nolan - Co-founder, 2old2play.com; Host, 2old2type Radio podcast
Chloe "PMS Kitty" Brown - Co-founder, GamerchiX; Community Manager PopChiX
Cathlin "Catastrophe" Sentz - Reviews Editor, ZTGD.com; Community Manager, N4G.com
Ryan "H2O Rip" Chaply - Clan Operations, PMS|H2O; Editor in Chief, PMS Clan Inc
Aaron "HMXhenry" Trites - Community Manager, Harmonix


The panel went well, and was well received... Enjoy...

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Kill Screen, a shiny new magazine that set out to challenge the video game literature status quo is here to prove that gamers do read. Read about how they started and what they’re planning to bring you from 2o2p's interview with Jamin Brophy-Warren, Editor of Kill Screen.

[Tara] How was Kill Screen conceived and what does that name signify?

[Jamin] Like all good ideas, it was developed over chicken tikka masala in San Francisco.  Chris and I, along with some of the future members of the KS family like Tom Bissell, were lamenting the lack of long-format game writing.  The places that we worked with on the national level were generally not that interested in games, so that left a big hole in terms of story-telling.  So we figured that we should start that project ourselves.

I had met our designer Tony Smyrski years earlier when I was working as a reporter for the Wall Street Journal and was researching a travel story on Luxembourg.  Turns out that we're both from Philly and former all-boys Catholic schoolers, but it took a trip the former financial center of Europe to make a connection.  We stayed in touch and I brought the idea to him immediately after Chris and I had spoken.  Tony is responsible for the incredible look and feel of the product, and we're really indebted to him in terms of bringing written ideas to life through design.

The name came from Tom actually.  He says it came in a dream.  We liked it so it stuck.  In terms of significance, Kill Screens in the real world are the functional end of gaming, and a lot like Steve Wiebe, we're chasing that endpoint too, just from the standpoint of writers.  Also, it's just a cool phrase.

[Tara] What have been some of the most exciting and frightening revelations of going live with this project?

[Jamin] Well, the frightening part is the same as an exciting part.  The question we get the most is "Why Print?" to which my answer is two-fold.  First, the problems of print media are manifold, but they're not unsolvable.  Print has a pricing issue -- for years, publications told people that the physical product was worthless and when something cheaper came along, readers fled. Print is a luxury and we should treat it as such.  But that comes with a responsibility -- to create something worthy of being held, cherished, and passed on.  Kill Screen is designed to create an experience that can't be replicated digitally and I think if you're not a free publication, high design and higher prices are the way to go.

Second, print is just the start.  We're treating the print product as a design bible that informs other projects that we're working on.  We're revamping our website, we're working on a mobile product, we're designing t-shirts.  Magazines need to start thinking of themselves as idea centers that create opportunities outside of the product's pages.

So it's extremely exciting to be building a business with the mistakes of other much larger companies to inform our decisions.  That is also terrifying because we don't see a lot of other models that are working right.  (Although VICE and Monocle are two publications that are doing
things right.)

[Tara] The Kill Screen crew is quite the ensemble of talent from non-gaming backgrounds. How will this benefit the content?

[Jamin] Well, it makes the writing better.  I think writers outside of the game world feel like they can't write about games because they don't possess encyclopedic knowledge.  But Chris and I know about games so we can guide people along the way if they have questions.  Usually editors at big publications don't know anything about videogames and that makes the editing process hairy.  (Personal experience.)

Our writers are focused on stories  -- specifically, this larger question "What do games mean?"  That means looking at the personal experiences that we collectively share through game play and the creative process of people who make games.

[Tara] Kill Screen is essentially open-sourcing some of the writing. Other than costs associated with starting a magazine, why this model?

[Jamin] Well, it's not quite open-source.  We're just opening the doors to new talent.  Chris is a phenomenal editor and has been doing a great job crafting small ideas into big ones.

[Tara] Reading and gaming can be thought of as substitute activities. How will Kill Screen make us put the controller down and pick the print up?

[Jamin] One of the interesting things we found in polling our readers was that they bought a book once a month.  (I'm in that boat as well.)  So reading is a natural activity for a lot of our readers.  The pitch to newcomers is that we tell good stories and our frequency allows for you to really dive in at your own pace.

[Tara] Web 2.0 has bloated the net with gaming articles that boil down to commentaries on commentaries on commentaries. How has this affected the content quality out there?

[Jamin] Well, I think it's made the world a lot smaller.  With dozens of publications printing the same press releases, I think it can be difficult to find new and interesting stories.  I am happy about the overall ecosystem of videogame news and reviews, but we'd rather watch from the sidelines and pluck the things that are interesting rather than follow what other sites are doing.  Good storytelling is evergreen and it's a rare commodity, so I'd rather focus our energies on that first.

[Tara] I see today’s print gaming magazines as almost “strategy guides” for the industry. They’re where you go when trying to figure out how to spend your next $60. Kill Screen aspires to be “what early Rolling Stone was to rock n’ roll or Wired was to tech.” What exactly is that?

[Jamin] Well, sorry, this sounds like a mantra -- but it's about telling good stories.  It's choosing interesting topics and approaching them with the respect and time that they deserve.  There's a reason that Kill Screen comes out every few months -- we like to take our time and really produce
something that's going to look and feel timeless.

[Tara] Issue 1 is out. What did you learn from the reception of Issue 0 that you took into account for the second
issue?


[Jamin] Most of the feedback was positive -- in a weird way, we could use more criticism.  There are some internal things that we noted that I can't talk about just yet because we're deciding how we want to implement them. The biggest thing was length -- this issue was twice as long so it feels more like something that justifies your time and money.

[Tara] How are you defining success for the magazine?

[Jamin] Sustainability. Another publisher told me that running a business is a marathon not a sprint. We have a lot of ideas for what we want to do with Kill Screen, but the key is to roll them out one at a time. Right now, our dreams outstrip our resources, so it's a matter of figuring out what makes sense to do at each time. But I want to create an environment where the each piece of Kill Screen -- the magazine, video, apparel -- thrives and can continue to support people in the future.

Like what you hear?  If you would like to contribute to Kill Screen’s sustainability, check out their site for subscription information.


2old2play members can also save $20.00 of the subscription by using the coupon code: 2OLD2GAME

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As it turns out, there's the possiblity that all those mom jokes are not unjustified. She may have had a hand in the downfall of our kind of gaming. Tara's here to fill you in.

Nintendo welcomed a new industry influencer into gaming’s basement. It’s your mom. And whether she meant to or not, she has tidied up the place…and I’m pissed. Let me back up and explain. 

A couple weeks ago I was sitting in the doctor’s office reading some bullshit magazine that gave me tips on how to keep my svelte gamers’ body. It was the typical “do this-not that, eat this-never that” article that is rehashed in every woman’s magazine month in and month out. One of the tips was to play an active video game on the Wii instead of playing regular video games.  Some gamers might read this and see a win. Gaming is turning mainstream, right? Wrong.

The Wii is mainstream. Fucking Farmville for shit’s sake is mainstream. My games, your games, 2o2p’s games, are NOT mainstream.

Last weekend my best friend and I were talking about the modern day snobbery of child-rearing. You know what I’m talking about. Those parents that one-up each other about how much they deprive their children of everything we grew up knowing. “No TV in this house!” “Timmy has never even tasted pizza!” Sure, parents want their kids to have a better life than they did. I get it. But sometimes you can almost wipe the smug off their faces and you know that some of that sacrifice is for mom’s sense of ego.

Sometimes I want to shake these people and yell, “the kids are fine! You’re fine! Chill the fuck out!”  But that would be bad for the economy.

I’ve daydreamed about opening a small business, since, forever. I have at least 10 business plans living in my head. One common trait between all my disparate ideas is a female target market. And it’s not because I’m female and I think I can use gender to “speak” to women. No. It’s because I want to be successful and I know that women are in charge of America’s wallet.  It’s true. I don’t want to bore you with a bunch of facts, but go HERE and read about how women account for 85% of all consumer purchases.  Super moms are spending shit-tons of money on anything and everything. And now they’re spending money on video games. The industry has noticed.

Pre-Wii, the gamer market was predominantly male and/or the hardcore gamer. Sure, 40-something divorcees were collecting more Sims than cats, but they still weren’t the “target.” Then Nintendo rolled around and brilliantly executed a strategy to NOT compete with Sony and Microsoft. Seriously, I bet there is a white paper somewhere that points out how Nintendo’s SWOT analysis led to the Wii. It is that fucking textbook.

If your target market doesn’t like you anymore, find a new target!

I don’t know if Nintendo, or anyone, had the perspicacity to project exactly who this new Wii market would be, but it’s safe to say they knew it would be non-gamers.

Strategic planning aside, let’s talk basic economics. The invisible hand theory explains why the video game industry has migrated toward the present day product mix. Acting out of self-interest, the industry is investing in the seemingly quick and available profits of casual gaming. Nintendo assumed all the risk and made it evident to the gaming industry that there’s a real market outside the hardcore nerds. Now Microsoft, Apple, Sony, and everyone else are running up to grab money off the table. Sadly for Nintendo, game-changer companies typically lose ground as new entrants iteratively innovate and steal market share.

And then there's that pesky law of unintended consequences that basically says humans are too stupid to exactly figure out all the impact of their actions - the most likely explanation for the de facto cooling off of investment into hardcore gaming.

Causal video gaming gives the industry new ways to be “relevant” (marketers love that word). Mom's wallet is wide open. And Pachter blames hardcore gamers for lagging software sales. The industry probably never meant to shift business models and leave us hanging but…the industry is accountable to their shareholders, not us.

Most recent gaming innovations have been diversions from hardcore gaming:

The Wii – Controls like shit. Garbage games. (Don't forget that it looks like shit, too. -- ed.) My mom likes to play. I rest my case. But if you're a busy mom that needs to get in shape, you should check it out!

Avatars – Okay, I like to dress mine up, I have to admit. But despite speaking to my inner little girl, avatars are really just a medium to push micro-transactions and simultaneously make video games more approachable and mainstream.

Farmville – And every other retarded “ville” game that people play on Facebook all day long. When I saw so many people playing this game, I checked it out. I assumed I must be missing something. Turns out the only thing missing was self-awareness of my own naiveté about the mindless garbage people partake in to distract themselves to death.

Arcade games – Every once in a while there’s a good arcade game. I’ll give in a little bit. But there’s also a whole lot of nostalgia, cheaply made, cutesy, re-hashed shit.

Netflix/Last.fm/Twitter/Facebook – I love that my Xbox 360 is becoming the focal point of the living room. But other than tying me to hardware, how is adding a bunch of popular apps making gaming any better?

Sony Wii (Move) and Microsoft Wii (Kinect) – I have Kinect pre-ordered. I’m my own worst enemy. Trust me, I see the pattern.

A Microsoft booth dude at the Mall of America told me how Kinect will be integrated into other games. His example was gestures in Fable 3. Instead of using the d-pad to make your hero hip thrust, you’ll get in front of the camera and vulgarly thrust away. That will break gameplay continuity. Will Halo and Call of Duty start using Kinect gestures in some way to get a giggle out of the family? Hopefully not, although it might be fun to peach punch some noobs through Kinect.

Alright, enough about all the wonderful ways the gaming industry is making mom feel at home in front of the Xbox. Let’s make note of what’s going on for hardcore gamers:

A sequel of a really good game was released.

A sequel of another really good game was released.

A prequel of a good game was released (followed by a sequel).

A douchebag keeps talking about how he wants to charge a subscription fee for Call of Duty.

Hardcore games are more expensive to make, they have smaller target markets, and they don’t appeal to moms that are trying to feel like a better parent than the neighbor.

As long as letting the kiddos play Halo continues to make mom feel guilty, we can expect the analysts following the money to mom’s wallet to take notice and give her what she wants.

Play this, not that.

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XmlTextNew Admins, Mods, and Community Leaders, OH MY!
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So it turns out that when your community grows you actually need more then 2 people to run it. With that in mind, we decided to finally add some fine folks to the ranks of 2o2p leadership. Check it out.

Administrators

First things first we needed more admins here to help people out with account issues, spammers and the general direction of 2old2play. To be honest we have known for a long time that we needed help, but never really had the time to train or trust someone with the 2old2play reins. Well that time is over and I'm happy to welcome our two newest admins on 2old2play, Drost and Taxisquad27.

Drost has been editor and chief here at 2old2play for quite a while now and so it made sense having the person who manages all our content move in to the admin spot. Taxi has been with 2o2p since its beginning and as a moderator has done more then many of us admins to keep 2old2play clean, over 25, and functioning.

These admin additions also help us split up some of the work around 2old2play and focus on individual areas of expertise while leaving the modding to the moderators. A list of staff rolls should be up in the forums and at the bottom of this post to help give members and idea of who they should contact with their issues or ideas. As always if you have problems that only an admin can help with, feel free to PM.

Moderators

The other issue with the site was our moderators or lack there of. We had a lot of mods that went MiA and almost triple the amount of spam. So we decided a mod group of 3-4 just wasn't going to be enough to hold off the old man porn and viagra spam. To help combat this we are adding a mod team of about 15 members to help keep the site clean and orderly. As of this post we still have a few more people to add, but we wanted to introduce the currently line up anyway. If you are interested in becoming a mod (and have the time) feel free to shoot doodirock a PM for more info.

  • lbsutke
  • Rock
  • Geekboy
  • LB75Player
  • RogueRedneck
  • SoupNazzi
  • Spooky
  • ThyEnemy
  • Dixon_Tufar
  • meemoos

Hopefully this will grow over the next week or so, but i hope you guys welcome the newcomers with open arms. We tried to pick members from all over the community and globe to make sure that many different time zones and styles of gamers were chosen. There should be a mod around the site almost 24 hours a day once we get a couple more on the roster. Hopefully this we keep things spam free and organized for years to come.

The Staff

As promised here is a break down of the 2old2play staff and their rolls here. The list is very incomplete but should give you an idea of our staff structure.

Admins

  • Doodirock - Site Development
  • DSmooth - Industry Management
  • Drost - Content Management
  • Taxisquad27 - Business Development


    • Staff

      • Waterborn- Community Manager (external)
      • Caesar - Community Manager (internal)


        • Moderators

          • lbsutke
          • Rock
          • Geekboy
          • LB75Player
          • RogueRedneck
          • SoupNazzi
          • Spooky
          • ThyEnemy
          • Dixon_Tufar
          • meemoos
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Episode 133 of 2old2type Radio, the official podcast of 2old2play.com, has been posted and is ready to please. Read on for more information.

Well DSmooth is back from vacation, but Codemonkey is in Germany this week, so surprisingly popular guest host Jonah Falcon has been brought back for a return visit. They cover Gamescom, the hot gaming news stories of the week, the new releases, as well as a bit of listener feedback. A great episode... And remember, you can always call the boys at (773) 527-2961 and weigh in yourself...

If you'd like to post comments on this episode, or questions for the next one, feel free to use this forum post.

Please check out our sponsors: Net Nanny - The Internet's Best Content Filter, Netflix, Inc. and www.godaddy.com

 

 




(773) 527-2961
podcast@2old2play.com

 

 

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We just wanted to take this time to publicly thank the people at Microsoft, Sony, Sega, Gearbox, Popcap, and Tritton for donating all they did in support of the 2old2play LAN and the Child's Play Charity.

Each year we ask for support from industry leaders within the gaming world and while our LAN may not be the biggest out there, we still manage to aid our favorite charity with the help from these giving companies. This year was no different and their generosity, as well as our members, help to bring in over $1,000 dollars at the raffle.

This type of support is why we all love the gaming world so much. We have seen countless acts of kindness in our time here on 2old2play and year after year it never ceases to amaze me. So on behalf of all the staff and members here at 2old2play, we would just like to take the time to say thank you. Thanks for the great gear, memorabilia, and most of all the support for our community. Without companies like yours, the 2old2play LAN could never have been a success.

Check out some photos below of our raffle table. You can see some really cool stuff like the Tritton back pack, signed copies for Borderlands (by the devs) and more. Also, thanks to Avery over at Microsoft for the signs. They were a big hit!

As always if you want to help the charity out on your own, visit Child's Play Charity for more information!!!

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Yes, the awards. You knew there were going to be awards, did you not? What's that? Oh, yes, they're like achievements on Xbox Live, only for things you do in real life that actually matter.

Welcome back everyone to this week's addition of "Smarter Then You."  While I know everyone has a lot of questions about the upcoming release of 2o2p V3, we need to shift gears slightly because it is that time of the year again!  Just like we have every year since its inception and just like we will every year forever, it's time for us to round up the activities of the Chitown LAN and recognize those site members that made it special.  We do want to do things a little bit differently so instead of shamelessly pumping up read statistics for old posts we have painstakingly polled the rank-and-file to make sure that these really are the people's results. 

We also shamelessly stole people's pictures and are not giving them credit.

And the first Award of the Year...

Most-Time-Making-Sure-Everyone-Knows-I-Have-An-iPhone:
The Winner Is Caesar! Caesar easily could have also won the coveted Most-Decorated-Award as well because he also won, Worst-Abuse-OTC-Stimulants-Open Division, tied for first with BC, Beldar and Team Canada for Most-Delusional, as well as, Biggest-Heart-As-Long-As-He-Wasn't-Getting-Stomped-In-Some-Esoteric-MLG-Warm-Up-Variant-Then-Sulking-For-Thirty-Minutes.

Worst-Effort-at-Estimating-Monitor-Usage:  In a shocking upset (to some) the award goes to Doodirock.  While many wanted to pin the debacle on Taxi, more informed LAN goers are well aware that he's not really Asian.  Therefore his math estimates should carry no more weight than say, a girl.  In addition to effectively killing all fun forever, Doodi also managed to manufacture plausible reasons for running more auctions, raffles, fund-raising drives and bikini car washes while producing no measurable results.  Calls to "Media Crumb" to inform them of the award went largely unanswered until 9:00 AM Delhi time when a man with very broken English explained that hey had never heard of "Joel Albert."

Best-Person-At-Making-You-Feel-At-Home (As long as "home" for you included a largely absent father figure that only stopped ignoring you long enough to make palpable their very real sense that everything you did was not good enough and that without you their life would have been better): For a fifth consecutive year the winner is Drost- Despite some stiff competition from Dean, who is seen here in the T-shirt his wife made him wear to appear more approachable but who is contemplating what, exactly, those young people think they are doing.

Worst Upset:  After spending most of 2009 and 2010 ordering "power band" upgrades for his Soloflex and taking delivery of HGH from a "guy that knew Lance Armstrong", Dixon Tufar had to suffer the indignity of being upstaged in the ridiculous muscular development category by Taxi's old friend from D-Block, Jay.  Jay is seen here explaining to BC just how much more likely his survival will be on the "Great Day of Cleansing" when "hippie mistakes" are removed from the gene pool and the rightful order of meritocracy is reestablished for all time.  I'm comfortable disclosing all of this because doodi promised me there would be no more LANs.

Best Clan Banner:  Despite low entry turnout, competition in this category has never been tougher.  Perennial favorite Profanity made a strong showing as did the artfully mounted newcomers 2old2shoot.  Ultimately though it was the skillful use of improvised medium and chiaroscuro to define the negative space and encapsulate the gestalt of their clan that won the day for Digital Violence. Nice work boys.  Way to represent!

Most Needy
:  It was not even close this year.  It might have been desperate cries of help such as the inordinate amount of "bribing likker" he brought.  It could have been the unholy amount of gear he packed, transported and spent hours unloading and setting up in a bid to make himself feel "important." However, ultimately it was this little act of rebellion that won Rau the prize.  Truth be told, this chiropractic table that sat outside our conference room for three days was begging for it.  We all thought about riding the pony but only Rau sacked up and did it.  I'm completely jealous. That picture is a double scoop of sweet with awesome sauce on the side.  Check it out again...

Most Improved Score: This year's winner has had previous comments from our confidential Post-LAN evaluations that have ranged from "kind of a cold fish," (DSmooth), to "stuck-up bitch," (Markus), to "who?" (Phreaks).  This year, rocking awesome scores like "not so bad once you get to know her," and "smelled better this year," TDrag rocketed all the way to the top of the bottom third of popularity amongst the site's 16,000 members.  Experts are projecting that the 2010 Fall Season could see her cracking the fiftieth percentile!  Way to go Tara!

Why-The-LAN-is-Awesome-Award:  Could have gone to this amazing entry of duct-tape-pwnage.  It could also easily have been Emminnent who, in addition to taking the time to have an overly specific ironic t-shirt made to ridicule a clan mate, also remembered to pack a dress shirt so he could raid the open bar at one of Saturday's weddings.  It could even have gone to whatever retarded juvenile brought a water balloon slingshot for late night shenanigans. Ultimately, though it's the little things.  Here is one of those gags that will never happen over XBL.

Biggest Mooch:  No surprises here either...As a veteran of six LANs and a skilled practitioner in the fine art of surviving on box cheese, untended beers and floor wings, BC "you going to eat that?" Kinetic wrapped up a second consecutive award in the mooching hall-of-fame. Seen here monopolizing someone else's rig to play a singleplayer game at a LAN Party (while a line of people wait for the money he owes them), BC also deserves the award for once again exposing this year's LAN Doormat, killthrash.  After only eight minutes of wheedling killthrash secured his award by parting with several hundred dollars' worth gaming gear that his mom bought him for his birthday.

Saddest Table At The LAN: There was a time when WoW addicts proudly reigned at the LAN as the Uber geeks of a geekdom.  This year though, as the sadly depleted ranks slogged their way for the three hundredth time through the same raid without speaking to one another we were all reminded of the glory that was Rome.  The last three people on the planet playing WoW, who are not employed by a North Korean Gold Farming Collective, shuffled lifelessly through the weekend's events and recoiled sharply whenever exposed to natural light. Where are you when we need you Jack Kevorkian?

Most Surprised:  Bubba.  There is nothing like returning home and seeing irrefutable photographic evidence of your rapid descent in to old age and decrepitude to send you in to a shame spiral of comfort food, relentless masturbation and inconsolable weeping.

Finally, the Award you waited all year for, the Grand Daddy of them All!!

Attention Whore of the Year:  As per usual there was no shortage of people to choose from this year.  The perennial 2o2p "Susan Lucci" of attention whoredom TaxiSquad27 made his usual strong bid but may need to settle for a "sorry-we-never-got-to-you-lifetime-achievement-award."  First time nominee MNvikesfan made a surprisingly strong challenge as well this year by breaking the seal for the hopelessly depraved alcoholics in attendance and ordering the first of many sport drinking props.  Ironically though it was the Farvre-esque performance by the queen of drama at 2o2p that would overshadow MNvikesfan's  inaugural effort.  With his on-again-off-again-aw-shucks-toe-dragging-attendance plans, fashionably late arrival, and refusal to move from a single spot requiring LAN attendees to pay homage in his court,  for This Year, For Every Year, Undisputed, Undefeated, Attention Whore For All Time Award Goes To...

I'll be back next week with the regular quality Q&A Feature you have all come to love and respect.  Until then, feel free to check out all of the photos from this Year's Last and Final Chitown LAN.  Post up your own stuff or just grab some and make up your own snarky awards.

Oh yeah, DSmooth was there.  Even with a table full of prizes in front of him nobody would talk to him.

 

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This week 2old2play's community guest is the site's unofficial lady diva TDrag27. Listen as we discuss the Chicago LAN, running a clan, and the hardships of keeping clans together when game popularity changes.

Your hosts Caesar, LB, and Drost discuss the Chicago LAN from its' inception to the final event next week at the Chicago Marriot O'hare.

If you have information about a 2old2play event or clan you think the community would be interested in, use this forum post. and leave us the info!



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2old2type Radio Episode 132, the official podcast of 2old2play.com, has been posted and is ready for your listening pleasure. Read on for more information.

The boys took a week off last week due to the 6th Annual 2old2play Chicago LAN, but DSmooth and Codemonkey are back this week and kicking ass. They cover the LAN, the top gaming news stories of the week, the new releases, and a bunch of listener feedback. Overall, an awesome episode... And remember, you can always call the boys at (773) 527-2961 and weigh in yourself...

If you'd like to post comments on this episode, or questions for the next one, feel free to use this forum post.

Please check out our sponsors: Net Nanny - The Internet's Best Content Filter, Netflix, Inc. and www.godaddy.com

 

 




(773) 527-2961
podcast@2old2play.com

 

 

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So, yeah, I guess Walla had some trouble with Xbox Customer Service a while back. Probably an isolated incident, right?

Hello, friend. 

I am here today to talk about something important. This situation can impact your family, your friends and maybe your very own Xbox -- customer disservice. I would like to regale you with a tale of my telephonic trip to the Philippines. It’s a classic story of boy needs help, boy gets help, help pours sugar in the boy's gas tank and then sleeps with his best friend. So hike up your reading glasses and enjoy a story, some philosophy and pinch of business.

 
It was a dark and stormy night. The email glared at me like the fiery eyes of monster from a child’s fairy tale. 
 
“Subject : Automatic Renewal Notification for Xbox 12 mo. Gold Membership”
 
You bastard. Why now? Why me? The financial demands of being sole supporter of a family of four during an economic fire sale have left me broken. Add the mounting vet bills from my wife’s obviously dying cat and you have yourself in quite a jam.
 
You see, I own two gamertags. The first is my primary tag, let’s call it “Walladog” for the sake of the discussion. The second we can call “WallaJr”. The second tag is for my 11-year-old son. So much as I would like to give Microsoft the bum’s rush … I was stuck with two. Walladog was renewed in December and I paid $49.99 for a 1 year gold membership. WallaJR was due to expire on June 7th.
 
Aha! Amazon to the rescue. Be still my heart, $39.99 for a 1-year prepaid subscription card. I ordered, they shipped (free!) There was much rejoicing.
 
The card arrives and in the middle of a busy day at work I decide to knock this item off the to-do list. I sign in to Xbox.com, enter my code and add the card to my account. Dust off my hands and wait for the joy of a job well done to roll over me.
 
Then it hits me, I signed into the wrong account! Holy ass crackers…I just put the card on the wrong account! Walladog still had six months left and I just added another year. WallaJr was still going to expire in a week.
 
As I let the depression, anxiety and remorse wash over me, a fire began to grow. It started as a spark and then the flame got bigger. No world … not today! Fuck, No! thank you very kindly … if you want me … you will have to come and get me! I am not going succumb to the Universe’s recent attempts to destroy me! If the virus infected computer, dying cat, screaming child, itchy eyes, financial ruin, psychotic neighbors and in-laws haven’t pushed me over the edge yet, nothing can.
 
Xbox Live support has always been helpful in the past…yeah…that’s it…I will call 1-800-4-MYXBO begin_of_the_skype_highlighting              1-800-4-MYXBOX      end_of_the_skype_highlightingX. Sure, sure, they can fix this. Then it will all be fine. Aaaall fine.
 
So I call. I have to talk to the computer first. You know the one:
 
Computer: “So our representatives can better assist you, please say what you need help with.”
 
Me: “Erectile dysfunction”
 
Computer: “I’m sorry, I didn’t get that. Did you say…Xbox malfunction?”
 
Me: “No thank you. It gives me gas.”
 
Computer: “Hmm. I still didn’t get that. You can say Repairs, Technical Support or Accounts and Billing.”
 
Me: “Okay, accounts and billing”
 
While I am holding for the next available representative I ponder the miracle of technology. My call is racing through fiber optic lines to another human being whose job it is to help me.  Wow, little old me! Helping the economy with my hard earned dollars by creating a need that leads to a job. I rock.
 
Rep: “Thank you calling Xbox Live Support, my name Sally how I help you?”
 
Me: “Hi Sally, my wife says I’m beyond help but how about we give it a try?”
 
I find that warming up someone on the phone tends to get you more goodwill. So I am smiling and trying to be polite and fun. Unfortunately “Sally” spoke something that was not "English." So as a result, witty reparte = FAIL.
 
Sally: “Ahhhhhh. Ok. Very goooood. Can you tell me what problem is so I help you?”
 
I explain that I redeemed my prepaid card on the wrong gamertag. I politely ask if it is even possible for them to help me. I understand if they cannot because the error was in fact, mine. But on the off chance that this happens all the time and its no big deal I thought I would call.
 
Sally: “I see. Okaaaay. I just need to verify information so I help you. Okaaaaay?”
 
Me: “Sure, fire away.”
 
Sally: “Can I get gamertag?”
 
Me: “W A L L A D O G”
 
Sally: “Greeeaaat. Okaaay. Please hold on while I verify……..Okaaay, thank you….hold on while verify……okaaay….thank you…okaaay?”
 
We then repeat this drill with my name, my address, then my email, then the phone number, then the last four digits of the credit card on file, and still she needs to verify (Okaaaaaay?).
 
Sally: “When you set up account, you choose secret question. What answer to secret question?”
 
Seriously? Let me take a moment to be grumpy. What the hell is with all the secret questions? Is it really a security measure? I mean with social networking sites and the amount of data available online these days, if I am stealing your identity you can bet your ass I know your mother’s maiden name, your social, your birthdate and your favorite ice cream.
 
And another thing, ask a question that isn’t subjective! Who is my favorite author? Well hell, five years ago when I set up the account it may have been Tom Clancy. Today though I haven’t read a Clancy book in four years and my favorite author is Isaac Asimov!
 
My secret question was : What was your first car?
 
Awww douche nozzles.  The first car I drove (Dad can I have the car tonight?), the first car that was Mine (an old beater gifted to me at 19) or the first car I bought myself (which consequently was a neon blue Geo Metro (I was engaged at the time…suck it haters!).
 
I took a stab at the answers but none of them were correct in the eyes of “Sally”.
 
Sally proceeds to tell me that if I have access to the internet I can sign into my Windows Live logon and see this info. I do, and then I do, but I cannot see the answer to the question. It does however let me change the question.
 
Me: “So Sally, it says here I can pick a new question. Can I just reset this to a new question and answer, then give you that?”
 
Sally: “Suuure. Yeeees. Okaaaay?”
 
So I do. I wait for Sally to get the update over the internets and bam! Sally asks me the new question, I give her verbatim the answer I just typed into the screen.
 
Me: “So Sally, let me ask you something. We have been on the phone almost fifteen minutes now and we are still trying to establish my identity. Doesn’t this seem a little over the top to you?”
 
Sally: “I understand your concern apprehensive. This is our policy for protect you!”
 
Me: “But Sally, if I was NOT the real Walladog, but I obviously have enough information to access his account and see the security questions, isn’t it kind of pointless in going through the exercise of asking for it?”
 
Sally: “I understand your concern apprehensive. This is our….”
 
Me: “It’s cool Sally. Don’t get worked up about it.”
 
So almost 20 minutes into this call we finally are ready to get down to brass tacks. I explain the issue in detail to Sally. Here is where I take a good long full on run at the language barrier with my balls out. BANG! Yup. That hurt. Sally has no idea what I’m talking about. I do what all American’s are taught to do when facing a linguistic hurdle, talk louder. Nope. Still nothing.
 
At about the 35 minute mark she has put me on hold three times and said, “Okaaaay, let just verify sooomethiiiing….okaaay? There, hold … let just verify sooomethiiiing … okay?” like she was getting paid for the phrase.
 
Success! Sally says no problem. She will cancel the 1-year prepaid card that was applied to Walladog. Then I will get an email with a new token (5x5 code) for 1-year that I can use on the WallaJr account.
 
Me: “This is excellent Sally. Thank you for helping me. I really appreciate it. Now just to be sure, when you say cancel the Walladog … it’s just the 1-year card right? This isn’t going to cancel my account or my gamertag? I mean, the world has taken so much from me, if it took gaming too I might just go over the edge and start a cult.”
 
Sally: “Hold on…let me verify….Thaaank Youuu. Hold on….yes. This only cancel 1-year card, then you get token in email”
 
I have another short hold where I have to confirm everything with her supervisor to finish the process. I am out of the call at the 43-minute mark. Not bad I suppose. I didn’t want to spend 43 minutes on it but hey, my problem got solved! Take that world, a big old Walladog teabag in your face!
 
Then I felt a shift in the Universe. As if the Universe heard my taunt and responded with, “Oh no no no no little man….up…YOURS!”
 
I sign on to Xbox.com and check my Walladog account. “Upgrade to Gold Now!?” WTF? Oh yeah! Walladog, which I had renewed in December for one year was now listed as expired. 
 
Back to the phones.
 
Computer: “So our representatives can better assist you, please say what you need help with.”
 
Me: “Somebody lied to me and completely took a dump on my self esteem.”
 
Computer: “Did you say Enforcement Team?”
 
Me: “You know what, it doesn’t even really matter anymore. I don’t know why I bother talking to you. It’s like you are listening but you aren’t HEARING me. See, you are doing it now! I mean, I respect you but half of me wants to just hang up and never talk to you again while the other half of me wonders, what are you thinking about?”
 
Computer: “I’m sorry, I didn’t understand your response. Please try again.”
 
Me: “You are impossible. I hate you. It’s over.”
 
Computer: “Please hold for the next available representative.”
 
So, basically you can cut and paste the first 35 minutes of the last phone call. I spend 15 minutes establishing my identity and another 15 trying to communicate what the situation was during the first call. Finally we move on to the matter at hand.
 
I explain that there has been an error. My entire account has been cancelled. I would like it fixed and fixed immediately.
 
Sally2.0: “Meester Boogaloo, I understand you frustration and I feel frustrations too also if it were I. I can definitely sympathy with your very much situation.”
 
Me: “Huh?”
 
Sally2.0: “Pleeease hold while verification information.”
 
Me: “Can you put the computer back on?”
 
They basically transfer me through two supervisors to tell me don’t worry; they are sending me a code.
 
Me: “I know. Steve, Sally2.0, you guys have been great. I know that my 1-year card was cancelled. I KNOW that you are going to email me a token for another one. What I don’t know is how you are going to fix the account that was already paid for and now is cancelled?”
 
Steve: “Meeester Bangladesh, we send email token code to replace.”
 
Me: “But you now essentially owe me for a year and half?”
 
Steve: “Meester Blumpkin, we send code for 1-year and half then.”
 
Me: “Steve, that does seem to square things. However, if I use the code I will have 18 months on WallaJr and still 0 months on Walladog. How do we fix this?”
 
Steve : “Meester Bilbo, hold while verification…..”
 
Steve: “Meester Boxlightner we send TWO codes.”
 
Me: “Okay Steve, now we are cutting to the quick!”
 
Steve: “Cut quick?”
 
Me: “Never mind Steve. Will this reset my seniority tag on my account? Because I dig my little six on my gamer tag.”
 
Steve: “Hold while verification…”
 
Steve: “Meester Badonkadonk, I have a non answer to that. You will have an email to coming to you to code token in your account within the next 5 to 7 business day.”
 
Me: “Steve, I don’t think I heard you right. It sounded like you said that one of your people screwed up my account and now I can’t play on Xbox Live for the next week. There has to be a way to escalate this right? A way to go to the next level so I can remedy the situation?”
 
Steve: “Meester Bukakke, we not that can do here. All we have power is to submit notes to Microsoft, then they are to processing them.”
 
Me: “Can we call them? I mean help me out here Steve. Do you have a number for support in the United States? Where are you anyway?”
 
Steve: “Meester Bumbaclot, we are located in the Philippines. We have no numbers for any other service center areas.”
 
Me: “Steve, why are you giving me the High Hat?”
 
Steve: “Huh?”
 
Me: “The Bum’s Rush”
 
Steve: “What?”
 
Me: “I feel like a pig in a poke.”
 
Total call time was around 58 minutes. I actually made a third call that lasted around forty-six minutes but it ended the same way. I asked at the beginning if they could tell me if anything could be done, because if NOT then I didn’t want to wait through the 15-minute process of establishing my identity. I got suckered in and fell for it again to no avail.
 
As a side note, much of the broken English here was not sexy broken English. I could, for example, read all of the above dialogue in a sexy Russian voice like Boris and Natasha from the Rocky & Bullwinkle Show. Then it would be hot. No, this was more the jilted Philippine variety of broken English.
 
Let me be clear, I harbor no ill will to the people of the Philippines. Nor do I have a problem with the fact that the people I was in contact with could not speak English very well. My issue would be with the corporate culture that thinks this is a viable cost cutting measure.
 
In my example I have to believe that the entire matter could have been handled in much less time. My estimation would be under ten minutes. If I was talking to a native English speaking person I believe we could have communicated all the information and resolved the issue in as little as five minutes. They would have understood my concerns and probably told me there was no way to undo the 1-year card without messing up the Walladog account. I would have said thank you for the time and ordered another card from Amazon.
 
So, one would have to assume that whatever savings were garnered by moving the call center to the Philippines were then quickly lost in the volume of call time. They paid less per minute of service but we are comparing a potential five-minute call to the 147 minute call. Let me check the math on this:
 
Assume a native English speaking representative here in the states costs $11.00 per hour. (not what they make, but cost to Microsoft)
 
Assume a representative in the Philippines costs $1.00 per hour.
 
$11.00 per hour X 5 minutes = $0.916
 
$1.00 per hour X 147 minutes = $2.45
 
Okay, I officially don’t get it. I think the $11.00 per hour is a pretty average figure for low level phone reps. $1.00 per hour might be wishful thinking, and if the actual costs of infrastructure to give them a presence in the billing systems is more then equation becomes even more unbalanced.
 
I mean, look; I am a fan of business. I am a capitalist and an entrepreneur. As such I have a certain admiration for Microsoft. You may not like all of their decisions or products but you can’t deny that they have built a business empire the likes of which the world has never seen. I applaud their restraint. Had I been in Mr. Gates’ position I might have just bought a large section of the country and made my own nation called Windows Land.
 
To that end, I have never had a problem paying for Xbox Live. When I first found out about it on the original Xbox I was excited. The prospect of playing online, with a stable dedicated network was excellent value for under $50 a year. It even drove me to get high speed internet at my home just so I could be ready for when I signed up for Xbox Live.
 
I have felt that the online experience I pay for is a good value and better experience than any other console offers. This sort of customer service issue though makes great strides in devaluing the service in my mind. I own two 360s and maintain two Live accounts. I buy Microsoft products, I spend probably $20 per week on average in Mspoints for online content and I even refrained from griping too loud about the seven Xbox 360 replacements I have had to endure. I am a good customer right?
 
So why would you try to alienate me? Even worse, I can’t even say you did it to save money. It looks like it probably cost you MORE!
 
In the end it is much less about real value then it is about perceived value. Since Microsoft has a popular product everyone wants they can afford to ruffle your feathers. They know you are going to be back for a hit of the good stuff tomorrow. So as my perceived value of Xbox Live was just taken down a few notches, I am left to wonder:
 
Does Microsoft feel they are just too good to worry about caring?
 
                                    Or
 
Have they become so big that they no longer have the capacity to care?
 
It is an interesting dilemma. If a grown man walks across a restaurant and takes my newspaper off my table to read the comics…there would be some words. If a 4-year-old child at the next table does the same thing I would laugh and make faces. The difference is that one person knows how to act and chooses not to while the other know no better and just acts.
 
So should I roll up my sleeves and start a fight or forgive them their trespasses because it is the price we pay for having such a giant supplier of technology?
 
 
Follow Up: The next day I received a call from Xbox Live support confirming my email address. I was sent a code for a 1-year subscription and two codes for a 3-month subscription. I am still waiting to see if my anniversary date was reset.

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2old2play's own Derek "DSmooth" Nolan hosted a panel on 'Online Gaming Communities and "Real Life" Relationships' at PAX 2010 this year. Read on for more info and full video of the panel.

So PAX is over, and it was full of lots of good games, announcements, parties and panels. After the success of hosting the same panel at PAX East, DSmooth swapped out panelists and did it again for a packed room at PAX Prime.

Panelists included:

Derek "DSmooth" Nolan - Co-founder, 2old2play.com; Host, 2old2type Radio podcast
Chloe "PMS Kitty" Brown - Co-founder, GamerchiX; Community Manager PopChiX
Cathlin "Catastrophe" Sentz - Reviews Editor, ZTGD.com; Community Manager, N4G.com
Ryan "H2O Rip" Chaply - Clan Operations, PMS|H2O; Editor in Chief, PMS Clan Inc
Aaron "HMXhenry" Trites - Community Manager, Harmonix


The panel went well, and was well received... Enjoy...

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Kill Screen, a shiny new magazine that set out to challenge the video game literature status quo is here to prove that gamers do read. Read about how they started and what they’re planning to bring you from 2o2p's interview with Jamin Brophy-Warren, Editor of Kill Screen.

[Tara] How was Kill Screen conceived and what does that name signify?

[Jamin] Like all good ideas, it was developed over chicken tikka masala in San Francisco.  Chris and I, along with some of the future members of the KS family like Tom Bissell, were lamenting the lack of long-format game writing.  The places that we worked with on the national level were generally not that interested in games, so that left a big hole in terms of story-telling.  So we figured that we should start that project ourselves.

I had met our designer Tony Smyrski years earlier when I was working as a reporter for the Wall Street Journal and was researching a travel story on Luxembourg.  Turns out that we're both from Philly and former all-boys Catholic schoolers, but it took a trip the former financial center of Europe to make a connection.  We stayed in touch and I brought the idea to him immediately after Chris and I had spoken.  Tony is responsible for the incredible look and feel of the product, and we're really indebted to him in terms of bringing written ideas to life through design.

The name came from Tom actually.  He says it came in a dream.  We liked it so it stuck.  In terms of significance, Kill Screens in the real world are the functional end of gaming, and a lot like Steve Wiebe, we're chasing that endpoint too, just from the standpoint of writers.  Also, it's just a cool phrase.

[Tara] What have been some of the most exciting and frightening revelations of going live with this project?

[Jamin] Well, the frightening part is the same as an exciting part.  The question we get the most is "Why Print?" to which my answer is two-fold.  First, the problems of print media are manifold, but they're not unsolvable.  Print has a pricing issue -- for years, publications told people that the physical product was worthless and when something cheaper came along, readers fled. Print is a luxury and we should treat it as such.  But that comes with a responsibility -- to create something worthy of being held, cherished, and passed on.  Kill Screen is designed to create an experience that can't be replicated digitally and I think if you're not a free publication, high design and higher prices are the way to go.

Second, print is just the start.  We're treating the print product as a design bible that informs other projects that we're working on.  We're revamping our website, we're working on a mobile product, we're designing t-shirts.  Magazines need to start thinking of themselves as idea centers that create opportunities outside of the product's pages.

So it's extremely exciting to be building a business with the mistakes of other much larger companies to inform our decisions.  That is also terrifying because we don't see a lot of other models that are working right.  (Although VICE and Monocle are two publications that are doing
things right.)

[Tara] The Kill Screen crew is quite the ensemble of talent from non-gaming backgrounds. How will this benefit the content?

[Jamin] Well, it makes the writing better.  I think writers outside of the game world feel like they can't write about games because they don't possess encyclopedic knowledge.  But Chris and I know about games so we can guide people along the way if they have questions.  Usually editors at big publications don't know anything about videogames and that makes the editing process hairy.  (Personal experience.)

Our writers are focused on stories  -- specifically, this larger question "What do games mean?"  That means looking at the personal experiences that we collectively share through game play and the creative process of people who make games.

[Tara] Kill Screen is essentially open-sourcing some of the writing. Other than costs associated with starting a magazine, why this model?

[Jamin] Well, it's not quite open-source.  We're just opening the doors to new talent.  Chris is a phenomenal editor and has been doing a great job crafting small ideas into big ones.

[Tara] Reading and gaming can be thought of as substitute activities. How will Kill Screen make us put the controller down and pick the print up?

[Jamin] One of the interesting things we found in polling our readers was that they bought a book once a month.  (I'm in that boat as well.)  So reading is a natural activity for a lot of our readers.  The pitch to newcomers is that we tell good stories and our frequency allows for you to really dive in at your own pace.

[Tara] Web 2.0 has bloated the net with gaming articles that boil down to commentaries on commentaries on commentaries. How has this affected the content quality out there?

[Jamin] Well, I think it's made the world a lot smaller.  With dozens of publications printing the same press releases, I think it can be difficult to find new and interesting stories.  I am happy about the overall ecosystem of videogame news and reviews, but we'd rather watch from the sidelines and pluck the things that are interesting rather than follow what other sites are doing.  Good storytelling is evergreen and it's a rare commodity, so I'd rather focus our energies on that first.

[Tara] I see today’s print gaming magazines as almost “strategy guides” for the industry. They’re where you go when trying to figure out how to spend your next $60. Kill Screen aspires to be “what early Rolling Stone was to rock n’ roll or Wired was to tech.” What exactly is that?

[Jamin] Well, sorry, this sounds like a mantra -- but it's about telling good stories.  It's choosing interesting topics and approaching them with the respect and time that they deserve.  There's a reason that Kill Screen comes out every few months -- we like to take our time and really produce
something that's going to look and feel timeless.

[Tara] Issue 1 is out. What did you learn from the reception of Issue 0 that you took into account for the second
issue?


[Jamin] Most of the feedback was positive -- in a weird way, we could use more criticism.  There are some internal things that we noted that I can't talk about just yet because we're deciding how we want to implement them. The biggest thing was length -- this issue was twice as long so it feels more like something that justifies your time and money.

[Tara] How are you defining success for the magazine?

[Jamin] Sustainability. Another publisher told me that running a business is a marathon not a sprint. We have a lot of ideas for what we want to do with Kill Screen, but the key is to roll them out one at a time. Right now, our dreams outstrip our resources, so it's a matter of figuring out what makes sense to do at each time. But I want to create an environment where the each piece of Kill Screen -- the magazine, video, apparel -- thrives and can continue to support people in the future.

Like what you hear?  If you would like to contribute to Kill Screen’s sustainability, check out their site for subscription information.


2old2play members can also save $20.00 of the subscription by using the coupon code: 2OLD2GAME

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XmlTextGaming is going to shit ... and it's your mom's fault
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As it turns out, there's the possiblity that all those mom jokes are not unjustified. She may have had a hand in the downfall of our kind of gaming. Tara's here to fill you in.

Nintendo welcomed a new industry influencer into gaming’s basement. It’s your mom. And whether she meant to or not, she has tidied up the place…and I’m pissed. Let me back up and explain. 

A couple weeks ago I was sitting in the doctor’s office reading some bullshit magazine that gave me tips on how to keep my svelte gamers’ body. It was the typical “do this-not that, eat this-never that” article that is rehashed in every woman’s magazine month in and month out. One of the tips was to play an active video game on the Wii instead of playing regular video games.  Some gamers might read this and see a win. Gaming is turning mainstream, right? Wrong.

The Wii is mainstream. Fucking Farmville for shit’s sake is mainstream. My games, your games, 2o2p’s games, are NOT mainstream.

Last weekend my best friend and I were talking about the modern day snobbery of child-rearing. You know what I’m talking about. Those parents that one-up each other about how much they deprive their children of everything we grew up knowing. “No TV in this house!” “Timmy has never even tasted pizza!” Sure, parents want their kids to have a better life than they did. I get it. But sometimes you can almost wipe the smug off their faces and you know that some of that sacrifice is for mom’s sense of ego.

Sometimes I want to shake these people and yell, “the kids are fine! You’re fine! Chill the fuck out!”  But that would be bad for the economy.

I’ve daydreamed about opening a small business, since, forever. I have at least 10 business plans living in my head. One common trait between all my disparate ideas is a female target market. And it’s not because I’m female and I think I can use gender to “speak” to women. No. It’s because I want to be successful and I know that women are in charge of America’s wallet.  It’s true. I don’t want to bore you with a bunch of facts, but go HERE and read about how women account for 85% of all consumer purchases.  Super moms are spending shit-tons of money on anything and everything. And now they’re spending money on video games. The industry has noticed.

Pre-Wii, the gamer market was predominantly male and/or the hardcore gamer. Sure, 40-something divorcees were collecting more Sims than cats, but they still weren’t the “target.” Then Nintendo rolled around and brilliantly executed a strategy to NOT compete with Sony and Microsoft. Seriously, I bet there is a white paper somewhere that points out how Nintendo’s SWOT analysis led to the Wii. It is that fucking textbook.

If your target market doesn’t like you anymore, find a new target!

I don’t know if Nintendo, or anyone, had the perspicacity to project exactly who this new Wii market would be, but it’s safe to say they knew it would be non-gamers.

Strategic planning aside, let’s talk basic economics. The invisible hand theory explains why the video game industry has migrated toward the present day product mix. Acting out of self-interest, the industry is investing in the seemingly quick and available profits of casual gaming. Nintendo assumed all the risk and made it evident to the gaming industry that there’s a real market outside the hardcore nerds. Now Microsoft, Apple, Sony, and everyone else are running up to grab money off the table. Sadly for Nintendo, game-changer companies typically lose ground as new entrants iteratively innovate and steal market share.

And then there's that pesky law of unintended consequences that basically says humans are too stupid to exactly figure out all the impact of their actions - the most likely explanation for the de facto cooling off of investment into hardcore gaming.

Causal video gaming gives the industry new ways to be “relevant” (marketers love that word). Mom's wallet is wide open. And Pachter blames hardcore gamers for lagging software sales. The industry probably never meant to shift business models and leave us hanging but…the industry is accountable to their shareholders, not us.

Most recent gaming innovations have been diversions from hardcore gaming:

The Wii – Controls like shit. Garbage games. (Don't forget that it looks like shit, too. -- ed.) My mom likes to play. I rest my case. But if you're a busy mom that needs to get in shape, you should check it out!

Avatars – Okay, I like to dress mine up, I have to admit. But despite speaking to my inner little girl, avatars are really just a medium to push micro-transactions and simultaneously make video games more approachable and mainstream.

Farmville – And every other retarded “ville” game that people play on Facebook all day long. When I saw so many people playing this game, I checked it out. I assumed I must be missing something. Turns out the only thing missing was self-awareness of my own naiveté about the mindless garbage people partake in to distract themselves to death.

Arcade games – Every once in a while there’s a good arcade game. I’ll give in a little bit. But there’s also a whole lot of nostalgia, cheaply made, cutesy, re-hashed shit.

Netflix/Last.fm/Twitter/Facebook – I love that my Xbox 360 is becoming the focal point of the living room. But other than tying me to hardware, how is adding a bunch of popular apps making gaming any better?

Sony Wii (Move) and Microsoft Wii (Kinect) – I have Kinect pre-ordered. I’m my own worst enemy. Trust me, I see the pattern.

A Microsoft booth dude at the Mall of America told me how Kinect will be integrated into other games. His example was gestures in Fable 3. Instead of using the d-pad to make your hero hip thrust, you’ll get in front of the camera and vulgarly thrust away. That will break gameplay continuity. Will Halo and Call of Duty start using Kinect gestures in some way to get a giggle out of the family? Hopefully not, although it might be fun to peach punch some noobs through Kinect.

Alright, enough about all the wonderful ways the gaming industry is making mom feel at home in front of the Xbox. Let’s make note of what’s going on for hardcore gamers:

A sequel of a really good game was released.

A sequel of another really good game was released.

A prequel of a good game was released (followed by a sequel).

A douchebag keeps talking about how he wants to charge a subscription fee for Call of Duty.

Hardcore games are more expensive to make, they have smaller target markets, and they don’t appeal to moms that are trying to feel like a better parent than the neighbor.

As long as letting the kiddos play Halo continues to make mom feel guilty, we can expect the analysts following the money to mom’s wallet to take notice and give her what she wants.

Play this, not that.

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XmlTextNew Admins, Mods, and Community Leaders, OH MY!
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So it turns out that when your community grows you actually need more then 2 people to run it. With that in mind, we decided to finally add some fine folks to the ranks of 2o2p leadership. Check it out.

Administrators

First things first we needed more admins here to help people out with account issues, spammers and the general direction of 2old2play. To be honest we have known for a long time that we needed help, but never really had the time to train or trust someone with the 2old2play reins. Well that time is over and I'm happy to welcome our two newest admins on 2old2play, Drost and Taxisquad27.

Drost has been editor and chief here at 2old2play for quite a while now and so it made sense having the person who manages all our content move in to the admin spot. Taxi has been with 2o2p since its beginning and as a moderator has done more then many of us admins to keep 2old2play clean, over 25, and functioning.

These admin additions also help us split up some of the work around 2old2play and focus on individual areas of expertise while leaving the modding to the moderators. A list of staff rolls should be up in the forums and at the bottom of this post to help give members and idea of who they should contact with their issues or ideas. As always if you have problems that only an admin can help with, feel free to PM.

Moderators

The other issue with the site was our moderators or lack there of. We had a lot of mods that went MiA and almost triple the amount of spam. So we decided a mod group of 3-4 just wasn't going to be enough to hold off the old man porn and viagra spam. To help combat this we are adding a mod team of about 15 members to help keep the site clean and orderly. As of this post we still have a few more people to add, but we wanted to introduce the currently line up anyway. If you are interested in becoming a mod (and have the time) feel free to shoot doodirock a PM for more info.

  • lbsutke
  • Rock
  • Geekboy
  • LB75Player
  • RogueRedneck
  • SoupNazzi
  • Spooky
  • ThyEnemy
  • Dixon_Tufar
  • meemoos

Hopefully this will grow over the next week or so, but i hope you guys welcome the newcomers with open arms. We tried to pick members from all over the community and globe to make sure that many different time zones and styles of gamers were chosen. There should be a mod around the site almost 24 hours a day once we get a couple more on the roster. Hopefully this we keep things spam free and organized for years to come.

The Staff

As promised here is a break down of the 2old2play staff and their rolls here. The list is very incomplete but should give you an idea of our staff structure.

Admins

  • Doodirock - Site Development
  • DSmooth - Industry Management
  • Drost - Content Management
  • Taxisquad27 - Business Development


    • Staff

      • Waterborn- Community Manager (external)
      • Caesar - Community Manager (internal)


        • Moderators

          • lbsutke
          • Rock
          • Geekboy
          • LB75Player
          • RogueRedneck
          • SoupNazzi
          • Spooky
          • ThyEnemy
          • Dixon_Tufar
          • meemoos
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Episode 133 of 2old2type Radio, the official podcast of 2old2play.com, has been posted and is ready to please. Read on for more information.

Well DSmooth is back from vacation, but Codemonkey is in Germany this week, so surprisingly popular guest host Jonah Falcon has been brought back for a return visit. They cover Gamescom, the hot gaming news stories of the week, the new releases, as well as a bit of listener feedback. A great episode... And remember, you can always call the boys at (773) 527-2961 and weigh in yourself...

If you'd like to post comments on this episode, or questions for the next one, feel free to use this forum post.

Please check out our sponsors: Net Nanny - The Internet's Best Content Filter, Netflix, Inc. and www.godaddy.com

 

 




(773) 527-2961
podcast@2old2play.com

 

 

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We just wanted to take this time to publicly thank the people at Microsoft, Sony, Sega, Gearbox, Popcap, and Tritton for donating all they did in support of the 2old2play LAN and the Child's Play Charity.

Each year we ask for support from industry leaders within the gaming world and while our LAN may not be the biggest out there, we still manage to aid our favorite charity with the help from these giving companies. This year was no different and their generosity, as well as our members, help to bring in over $1,000 dollars at the raffle.

This type of support is why we all love the gaming world so much. We have seen countless acts of kindness in our time here on 2old2play and year after year it never ceases to amaze me. So on behalf of all the staff and members here at 2old2play, we would just like to take the time to say thank you. Thanks for the great gear, memorabilia, and most of all the support for our community. Without companies like yours, the 2old2play LAN could never have been a success.

Check out some photos below of our raffle table. You can see some really cool stuff like the Tritton back pack, signed copies for Borderlands (by the devs) and more. Also, thanks to Avery over at Microsoft for the signs. They were a big hit!

As always if you want to help the charity out on your own, visit Child's Play Charity for more information!!!

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XmlTextThe Sixth Annual Lannie Awards
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Yes, the awards. You knew there were going to be awards, did you not? What's that? Oh, yes, they're like achievements on Xbox Live, only for things you do in real life that actually matter.

Welcome back everyone to this week's addition of "Smarter Then You."  While I know everyone has a lot of questions about the upcoming release of 2o2p V3, we need to shift gears slightly because it is that time of the year again!  Just like we have every year since its inception and just like we will every year forever, it's time for us to round up the activities of the Chitown LAN and recognize those site members that made it special.  We do want to do things a little bit differently so instead of shamelessly pumping up read statistics for old posts we have painstakingly polled the rank-and-file to make sure that these really are the people's results. 

We also shamelessly stole people's pictures and are not giving them credit.

And the first Award of the Year...

Most-Time-Making-Sure-Everyone-Knows-I-Have-An-iPhone:
The Winner Is Caesar! Caesar easily could have also won the coveted Most-Decorated-Award as well because he also won, Worst-Abuse-OTC-Stimulants-Open Division, tied for first with BC, Beldar and Team Canada for Most-Delusional, as well as, Biggest-Heart-As-Long-As-He-Wasn't-Getting-Stomped-In-Some-Esoteric-MLG-Warm-Up-Variant-Then-Sulking-For-Thirty-Minutes.

Worst-Effort-at-Estimating-Monitor-Usage:  In a shocking upset (to some) the award goes to Doodirock.  While many wanted to pin the debacle on Taxi, more informed LAN goers are well aware that he's not really Asian.  Therefore his math estimates should carry no more weight than say, a girl.  In addition to effectively killing all fun forever, Doodi also managed to manufacture plausible reasons for running more auctions, raffles, fund-raising drives and bikini car washes while producing no measurable results.  Calls to "Media Crumb" to inform them of the award went largely unanswered until 9:00 AM Delhi time when a man with very broken English explained that hey had never heard of "Joel Albert."

Best-Person-At-Making-You-Feel-At-Home (As long as "home" for you included a largely absent father figure that only stopped ignoring you long enough to make palpable their very real sense that everything you did was not good enough and that without you their life would have been better): For a fifth consecutive year the winner is Drost- Despite some stiff competition from Dean, who is seen here in the T-shirt his wife made him wear to appear more approachable but who is contemplating what, exactly, those young people think they are doing.

Worst Upset:  After spending most of 2009 and 2010 ordering "power band" upgrades for his Soloflex and taking delivery of HGH from a "guy that knew Lance Armstrong", Dixon Tufar had to suffer the indignity of being upstaged in the ridiculous muscular development category by Taxi's old friend from D-Block, Jay.  Jay is seen here explaining to BC just how much more likely his survival will be on the "Great Day of Cleansing" when "hippie mistakes" are removed from the gene pool and the rightful order of meritocracy is reestablished for all time.  I'm comfortable disclosing all of this because doodi promised me there would be no more LANs.

Best Clan Banner:  Despite low entry turnout, competition in this category has never been tougher.  Perennial favorite Profanity made a strong showing as did the artfully mounted newcomers 2old2shoot.  Ultimately though it was the skillful use of improvised medium and chiaroscuro to define the negative space and encapsulate the gestalt of their clan that won the day for Digital Violence. Nice work boys.  Way to represent!

Most Needy
:  It was not even close this year.  It might have been desperate cries of help such as the inordinate amount of "bribing likker" he brought.  It could have been the unholy amount of gear he packed, transported and spent hours unloading and setting up in a bid to make himself feel "important." However, ultimately it was this little act of rebellion that won Rau the prize.  Truth be told, this chiropractic table that sat outside our conference room for three days was begging for it.  We all thought about riding the pony but only Rau sacked up and did it.  I'm completely jealous. That picture is a double scoop of sweet with awesome sauce on the side.  Check it out again...

Most Improved Score: This year's winner has had previous comments from our confidential Post-LAN evaluations that have ranged from "kind of a cold fish," (DSmooth), to "stuck-up bitch," (Markus), to "who?" (Phreaks).  This year, rocking awesome scores like "not so bad once you get to know her," and "smelled better this year," TDrag rocketed all the way to the top of the bottom third of popularity amongst the site's 16,000 members.  Experts are projecting that the 2010 Fall Season could see her cracking the fiftieth percentile!  Way to go Tara!

Why-The-LAN-is-Awesome-Award:  Could have gone to this amazing entry of duct-tape-pwnage.  It could also easily have been Emminnent who, in addition to taking the time to have an overly specific ironic t-shirt made to ridicule a clan mate, also remembered to pack a dress shirt so he could raid the open bar at one of Saturday's weddings.  It could even have gone to whatever retarded juvenile brought a water balloon slingshot for late night shenanigans. Ultimately, though it's the little things.  Here is one of those gags that will never happen over XBL.

Biggest Mooch:  No surprises here either...As a veteran of six LANs and a skilled practitioner in the fine art of surviving on box cheese, untended beers and floor wings, BC "you going to eat that?" Kinetic wrapped up a second consecutive award in the mooching hall-of-fame. Seen here monopolizing someone else's rig to play a singleplayer game at a LAN Party (while a line of people wait for the money he owes them), BC also deserves the award for once again exposing this year's LAN Doormat, killthrash.  After only eight minutes of wheedling killthrash secured his award by parting with several hundred dollars' worth gaming gear that his mom bought him for his birthday.

Saddest Table At The LAN: There was a time when WoW addicts proudly reigned at the LAN as the Uber geeks of a geekdom.  This year though, as the sadly depleted ranks slogged their way for the three hundredth time through the same raid without speaking to one another we were all reminded of the glory that was Rome.  The last three people on the planet playing WoW, who are not employed by a North Korean Gold Farming Collective, shuffled lifelessly through the weekend's events and recoiled sharply whenever exposed to natural light. Where are you when we need you Jack Kevorkian?

Most Surprised:  Bubba.  There is nothing like returning home and seeing irrefutable photographic evidence of your rapid descent in to old age and decrepitude to send you in to a shame spiral of comfort food, relentless masturbation and inconsolable weeping.

Finally, the Award you waited all year for, the Grand Daddy of them All!!

Attention Whore of the Year:  As per usual there was no shortage of people to choose from this year.  The perennial 2o2p "Susan Lucci" of attention whoredom TaxiSquad27 made his usual strong bid but may need to settle for a "sorry-we-never-got-to-you-lifetime-achievement-award."  First time nominee MNvikesfan made a surprisingly strong challenge as well this year by breaking the seal for the hopelessly depraved alcoholics in attendance and ordering the first of many sport drinking props.  Ironically though it was the Farvre-esque performance by the queen of drama at 2o2p that would overshadow MNvikesfan's  inaugural effort.  With his on-again-off-again-aw-shucks-toe-dragging-attendance plans, fashionably late arrival, and refusal to move from a single spot requiring LAN attendees to pay homage in his court,  for This Year, For Every Year, Undisputed, Undefeated, Attention Whore For All Time Award Goes To...

I'll be back next week with the regular quality Q&A Feature you have all come to love and respect.  Until then, feel free to check out all of the photos from this Year's Last and Final Chitown LAN.  Post up your own stuff or just grab some and make up your own snarky awards.

Oh yeah, DSmooth was there.  Even with a table full of prizes in front of him nobody would talk to him.

 

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This week 2old2play's community guest is the site's unofficial lady diva TDrag27. Listen as we discuss the Chicago LAN, running a clan, and the hardships of keeping clans together when game popularity changes.

Your hosts Caesar, LB, and Drost discuss the Chicago LAN from its' inception to the final event next week at the Chicago Marriot O'hare.

If you have information about a 2old2play event or clan you think the community would be interested in, use this forum post. and leave us the info!



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2old2type Radio Episode 132, the official podcast of 2old2play.com, has been posted and is ready for your listening pleasure. Read on for more information.

The boys took a week off last week due to the 6th Annual 2old2play Chicago LAN, but DSmooth and Codemonkey are back this week and kicking ass. They cover the LAN, the top gaming news stories of the week, the new releases, and a bunch of listener feedback. Overall, an awesome episode... And remember, you can always call the boys at (773) 527-2961 and weigh in yourself...

If you'd like to post comments on this episode, or questions for the next one, feel free to use this forum post.

Please check out our sponsors: Net Nanny - The Internet's Best Content Filter, Netflix, Inc. and www.godaddy.com

 

 




(773) 527-2961
podcast@2old2play.com

 

 

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