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1 Movies [empty string] [empty string] http://www.bloody-disgusting.com/ http://www.bloody-disgusting.com:80/favicon.ico 1 [empty string] bloody-disgusting [empty string] Horror http://www.bloody-disgusting.com/bd_rss.php
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1 {ts '2008-09-12 10:29:57'} <center> <table border="0" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" bgcolor=#ffffff> <tr> <td><b><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="+1">Piled Higher &amp; Deeper</font><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"> <i> by Jorge Cham</i></font></b></td> <td> </td> <td> <div align="right"><b><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">www.phdcomics.com</font></b></div> </td> </tr> <tr align="center"> <td colspan="3"><font face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"><img src="http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive/phd091108s.gif" border="0" align="top"></img></font></td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan="3"> <div align="center"><font size="-2" face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">title: &quot;Tales from the Road - CERN, pt. 4&quot; - originally published 9/11/2008 </font><p><font face="arial">For the latest news in PHD Comics, <a href="http://www.phdcomics.com/comics.php">CLICK HERE!</a></font></p> </div> </td> </tr> </table> </center> 87 115830 [empty string] [empty string] [empty string] http://www.phdcomics.com/comics.php?f=1069 [empty string] 09/11/08 PHD comic: 'Tales from the Road - CERN, pt. 4'
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Filecontent <?xml version="1.0" encoding="ISO-8859-1"?> <?xml-stylesheet type="text/xsl" media="screen" href="/~d/styles/rss2full.xsl"?><?xml-stylesheet type="text/css" media="screen" href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~d/styles/itemcontent.css"?><rss xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss" xmlns:feedburner="http://rssnamespace.org/feedburner/ext/1.0" version="2.0"> <channel> <title>CollegeHumor: Recent Articles</title> <link>http://www.collegehumor.com</link> <description /> <atom10:link xmlns:atom10="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/collegehumor/articles" /><feedburner:info uri="collegehumor/articles" /><atom10:link xmlns:atom10="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" rel="hub" href="http://pubsubhubbub.appspot.com/" /><item> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808750</guid> <title>Roommate Confessions: Issue 141</title> <pubDate>Mon, 06 Sep 2010 16:00:00 -0400</pubDate> <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~3/_ZtNJOL7Tlc/article:1808750</link> <description>&lt;table border=0 width="360px"&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;div class="custom_article"&gt;&lt;p class="ca_intro"&gt;It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 7 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to &lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href="/submit/roommate-confessions"&gt;our submission page!&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="left_a3 small_a4 border_a3"&gt;&lt;img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/37/65/7a44cf5f411c9fbad49db7e0b77843b5.jpg" width="200" /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years now. We finally moved in to together. Needless to say our first 3 months living together have been a little rocky. I was feeling that I needed an outlet to vent my frustration with her, when the opportunity finally presented itself. When my GF left to go pick up dinner I was left to watch her niece and nephew, twins, age 2. I took the opportunity and handed them the permanent markers out of my GF's backpack. I also gave them her brand new hardcover edition of the Black's Law Dictionary, and all of her current law school textbooks. They went to town ruining over a $1,500.00 worth of her books. I got out of it by pretending I got locked in the garage while doing laundry (our garage door is broken so the only way in is through the door that locks easily from inside the house.) She told her sister that the kids can't come over anymore. Things have been going pretty good for us since then.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;I Love My Girlfriend, Most of the Time&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;5 years ago when I was attending my last year of boarding high school I was kicked off the hockey team for sending another teams captain and coach to the hospital after they instructed their team to trip, check from behind, and slash our team. I was, at the time, 6'2" 190 and the best defense the school had ever seen. My roommate was in charge of sharpening the skates before every game and after every 3 practices. Before the 2nd to last game (very important) I offered to do the skate sharpening for my roommate so he could sleep. After sharpening all the skates I put a very thin layer of clear dry glue on the dominant edge (inner side of the blade) of each players skates. It was amazing watching the whole team consistently face plant all over the ice. Sorry you all didn't make it to state for the first time in 10 years. Sorry roomie that you got fired from the hockey team work study. Sorry coach you lost your job. Next time don't kick your #1 player off for inducing justice.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Anonymous&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;As opposed to the ever growing douch-baggedness of the confessions on this series, I have an old school prank confession. Me and a bunch of my buddies managed to get a hold of some saran wrap (compliments of the director of food services) and we covered all of this kid's stuff with it. Desk, bed, rolling chair, we got it all. But before we did that, we took all his sheets, pillows, laptop, and desk accessories and put them in his closet. Before duct taping the hole in the wall that was the closet we put this one girl in there and duct taped her in. We did all this while this kid, who was a good friend of all of us, was in the bathroom/showering. Needless to say, he was shocked. But nothing could ever beat his reaction when the girl popped out of his sheets/pillows while he was de-taping his closet. The kid got his revenge though. Being best described as Walter Kowolski from Gran Tarino, he beat the crap out of all of us with his belt.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Franchise X from Siena College&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;My roommate at the fraternity this summer was a b*tch. He complained that he needed constant light and sound to sleep at night, so the Disney Channel would be blaring at full volume 24-7. He was a huge slob too, leaving week-old pizza boxes and dirty laundry all over the place. He left the whole mess behind when he went to study abroad. One night, my best friend/greek little sister got sexiled, so naturally I let her crash on my couch. Little did I know she would decide to sleepwalk across the room in the middle of the night, drop her &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td valign="top" width="35px"&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:326"&gt;&lt;img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/21/81/collegehumor.45397a4c6c8241522ef776b95348cf0f.jpg" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;td valign="top"&gt; Written 2010-09-06 16:00:00 by &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:326"&gt;Jeff Rosenberg&lt;/a&gt; from &lt;a href='http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1236'&gt;New York University&lt;/a&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;img src='http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif' align='texttop' /&gt; 5 likes&lt;/p&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;/table&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/Br1KqjnietYY54LB9NCA1LtAwY0/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/Br1KqjnietYY54LB9NCA1LtAwY0/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/Br1KqjnietYY54LB9NCA1LtAwY0/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/Br1KqjnietYY54LB9NCA1LtAwY0/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=_ZtNJOL7Tlc:CQSTKYQP2zE:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=_ZtNJOL7Tlc:CQSTKYQP2zE:V_sGLiPBpWU"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?i=_ZtNJOL7Tlc:CQSTKYQP2zE:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=_ZtNJOL7Tlc:CQSTKYQP2zE:qj6IDK7rITs"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~4/_ZtNJOL7Tlc" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</description> <feedburner:origLink>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808750</feedburner:origLink></item><item> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808795</guid> <title>10 Pokemon Pick-up Lines</title> <pubDate>Fri, 03 Sep 2010 16:31:00 -0400</pubDate> <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~3/ks5h-Z75ohY/article:1808795</link> <description>&lt;table border=0 width="360px"&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;div class="center_a3 full_a4 noborder_a3" style="width:600px;"&gt;&lt;img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/70/98/2fbb19d57297c3b23040670e5aa5fc90.jpg" width="600" /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;div class="center_a3 full_a4 noborder_a3" style="width:600px;"&gt;&lt;img src="http://6.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/91/20/30db492325219959345361e80c1db886.jpg" width="600" /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/p&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td valign="top" width="35px"&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1549923"&gt;&lt;img src="http://1.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/66/65/collegehumor.70cb64a9b8bb8a3b536f3c6860c70a9a.jpg" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;td valign="top"&gt; Written 2010-09-03 16:31:00 by &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1549923"&gt;Andrew Bridgman&lt;/a&gt; from &lt;a href='http://www.collegehumor.com/school:156'&gt;Purdue University&lt;/a&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;img src='http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif' align='texttop' /&gt; 20 likes&lt;/p&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;/table&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/pR1KTXlL03-_a_EA548xZHZLbFc/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/pR1KTXlL03-_a_EA548xZHZLbFc/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/pR1KTXlL03-_a_EA548xZHZLbFc/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/pR1KTXlL03-_a_EA548xZHZLbFc/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=ks5h-Z75ohY:VfEa8VQ0SGQ:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=ks5h-Z75ohY:VfEa8VQ0SGQ:V_sGLiPBpWU"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?i=ks5h-Z75ohY:VfEa8VQ0SGQ:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=ks5h-Z75ohY:VfEa8VQ0SGQ:qj6IDK7rITs"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~4/ks5h-Z75ohY" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</description> <feedburner:origLink>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808795</feedburner:origLink></item><item> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808853</guid> <title>Freshman-O-Vision</title> <pubDate>Fri, 03 Sep 2010 16:02:00 -0400</pubDate> <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~3/T2RWpySqYj4/article:1808853</link> <description>&lt;table border=0 width="360px"&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;p style="text-align: left;"&gt;&lt;em&gt;Things look a little different when you're a freshman...&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style="text-align: left;"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;div class="center_a3 full_a4 noborder_a3" style="width:600px;"&gt;&lt;img src="http://8.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/91/82/988b6ffd02f86a21b2c9cfe2ce495791.jpg" width="600" /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style="text-align: left;"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;div class="center_a3 full_a4 noborder_a3" style="width:600px;"&gt;&lt;img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/60/10/3b8adaef6e51b8876e53a508020d2c98.jpg" width="600" /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p style="text-align: left;"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td valign="top" width="35px"&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:2000643"&gt;&lt;img src="http://2.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/96/68/collegehumor.f2792f1c2efdfff4952893664e26b79d.jpg" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;td valign="top"&gt; Written 2010-09-03 16:02:00 by &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:2000643"&gt;Alex Watt&lt;/a&gt; from &lt;a href='http://www.collegehumor.com/school:938'&gt;Siena College&lt;/a&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;img src='http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif' align='texttop' /&gt; 449 likes&lt;/p&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;/table&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/awJvDf4GmAZ9LXcPhhV9uU9rirI/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/awJvDf4GmAZ9LXcPhhV9uU9rirI/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/awJvDf4GmAZ9LXcPhhV9uU9rirI/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/awJvDf4GmAZ9LXcPhhV9uU9rirI/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=T2RWpySqYj4:zDG2HXIxegs:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=T2RWpySqYj4:zDG2HXIxegs:V_sGLiPBpWU"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?i=T2RWpySqYj4:zDG2HXIxegs:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=T2RWpySqYj4:zDG2HXIxegs:qj6IDK7rITs"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~4/T2RWpySqYj4" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</description> <feedburner:origLink>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808853</feedburner:origLink></item><item> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808851</guid> <title>The Internet Is Full of Lonely People</title> <pubDate>Fri, 03 Sep 2010 15:00:00 -0400</pubDate> <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~3/28e8za5qGXQ/article:1808851</link> <description>&lt;table border=0 width="360px"&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;div class="center_a3 full_a4 border_a3" style="width:552px;"&gt;&lt;img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/12/74/7d1626d82519f6b9d24a24958763009d.jpg" width="552" /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td valign="top" width="35px"&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:945989"&gt;&lt;img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/16/11/collegehumor.8879997c887ae4b37f766c44f2de531f.jpg" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;td valign="top"&gt; Written 2010-09-03 15:00:00 by &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:945989"&gt;Susanna Wolff&lt;/a&gt; from &lt;a href='http://www.collegehumor.com/school:53'&gt;Columbia University&lt;/a&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;img src='http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif' align='texttop' /&gt; 317 likes&lt;/p&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;/table&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/Zcu9uSiaOK12T752Jq8SZg8ehxU/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/Zcu9uSiaOK12T752Jq8SZg8ehxU/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/Zcu9uSiaOK12T752Jq8SZg8ehxU/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/Zcu9uSiaOK12T752Jq8SZg8ehxU/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=28e8za5qGXQ:q7_GtZ51dkc:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=28e8za5qGXQ:q7_GtZ51dkc:V_sGLiPBpWU"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?i=28e8za5qGXQ:q7_GtZ51dkc:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=28e8za5qGXQ:q7_GtZ51dkc:qj6IDK7rITs"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~4/28e8za5qGXQ" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</description> <feedburner:origLink>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808851</feedburner:origLink></item><item> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808837</guid> <title>105%: Issue One Hundred and Thirty Five</title> <pubDate>Fri, 03 Sep 2010 14:00:00 -0400</pubDate> <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~3/8FnM3sI0lQ4/article:1808837</link> <description>&lt;table border=0 width="360px"&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;div class="percent_105"&gt;&lt;h3&gt;Kid-Tested, Bone Thugs-N-Harmony-Approved&lt;/h3&gt;&lt;div class="joke red"&gt;Based on all the swastikas carved into bathroom stalls, NAZIs must be the most constipated people on earth.&lt;div class="author"&gt;-Patrick Cassels&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="joke green"&gt;Digestively speaking, isn't every fast food joint technically an In-N-Out Burger?&lt;div class="author"&gt;-Kevin Slane &lt;a href="http://twitter.com/KSlane"&gt;(@KSlane)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="joke orange"&gt;Have you ever noticed how sick horses just sort of stick together?&lt;div class="author"&gt;-Mark H&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="joke teal"&gt;I just bought one of those wristwatches that shows you what phase the moon is in. Apparently, right now it's feeling really noncommittal and just getting into Faulkner.&lt;div class="author"&gt;-Joe Petro &lt;a href="http://twitter.com/joe_petro"&gt;(@joe_petro)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="joke blue"&gt;It's OK for me to make Anne Frank jokes, because my girlfriend looks like Fat Anne Frank.&lt;div class="author"&gt;-Adam Newman &lt;a href="http://twitter.com/Adam_Newman"&gt;(@Adam_Newman)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="joke red"&gt;Sometimes I wish politics were more like math; that way it'd be impossible for our views to be divided by ground zero.&lt;div class="author"&gt;-Caldwell Tanner &lt;a href="http://twitter.com/caldy"&gt;(@caldy)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="joke green"&gt;It's pretty ironic that anarchists all use the same symbol.&lt;div class="author"&gt;-Conor McKeon &lt;a href="http://twitter.com/AConorMcKeon"&gt;(@AConorMcKeon)&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="joke orange"&gt;Rose is red, Hypnotiq is blue, Moscato is sweet, and I pour whiskey into my coffee every morning on the way to work.&lt;div class="author"&gt;-Hannah Carmen&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="percent_submit"&gt;&lt;a href="/105percent"&gt;Click here to submit your own 105%.&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td valign="top" width="35px"&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:193715"&gt;&lt;img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/11/35/collegehumor.32aef8c071da54cebf90f683568f0d30.jpg" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;td valign="top"&gt; Written 2010-09-03 14:00:00 by &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:193715"&gt;105%-O-Matic&lt;/a&gt; from &lt;a href='http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1446'&gt;Bucks County Community College&lt;/a&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;img src='http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif' align='texttop' /&gt; 9 likes&lt;/p&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;/table&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/-Aporsu6sR2pXNIrtihaIrmg7BY/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/-Aporsu6sR2pXNIrtihaIrmg7BY/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/-Aporsu6sR2pXNIrtihaIrmg7BY/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/-Aporsu6sR2pXNIrtihaIrmg7BY/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=8FnM3sI0lQ4:zBQJOL8h-ro:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=8FnM3sI0lQ4:zBQJOL8h-ro:V_sGLiPBpWU"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?i=8FnM3sI0lQ4:zBQJOL8h-ro:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=8FnM3sI0lQ4:zBQJOL8h-ro:qj6IDK7rITs"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~4/8FnM3sI0lQ4" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</description> <feedburner:origLink>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808837</feedburner:origLink></item><item> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808764</guid> <title>Time Travel Orientation</title> <pubDate>Fri, 03 Sep 2010 13:00:00 -0400</pubDate> <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~3/W94E2Gh-KgM/article:1808764</link> <description>&lt;table border=0 width="360px"&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me&lt;/strong&gt;: Lev! I've travelled back in time to prepare you for your Freshman year!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Lev&lt;/strong&gt;: Wow! Future-me!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me&lt;/strong&gt;: I have to give you warnings from the future about Freshman year. Because you can change what happens and-&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Lev&lt;/strong&gt;: Oh wow! It's like the fifth season of Lost! That ends cool, right?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me&lt;/strong&gt;: ...sure, yeah, totally. But back to business. Our high-school girlfriend? Dump her fast. Sorry.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Lev&lt;/strong&gt;: What!? But she's perfect, she's the most beautiful, perfect girl at my high school...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me&lt;/strong&gt;: Keep going...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Lev&lt;/strong&gt;: In my grade...of 90 kids...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me&lt;/strong&gt;:Go further.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Lev&lt;/strong&gt;: ...who would get with me.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me&lt;/strong&gt;: That's what I thought. Which reminds me: the first girl you hook up with at a frat party is &lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt; your girlfriend.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Lev&lt;/strong&gt;: What? But we made out and everything!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me&lt;/strong&gt;: I know. But do not triple text her. You will look creepy.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Lev&lt;/strong&gt;: Maybe her phone is broken...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me&lt;/strong&gt;: No it isn't. And apparently telegrams are 'creepy.'&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Lev&lt;/strong&gt;: Even singing telegrams?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me&lt;/strong&gt;: Yeah, it's weird. Girls, right? And another thing: don't wear the same "Tufts" sweatshirt every day. Everyone knows you go there. You're on the campus. You don't need to remind-&lt;br /&gt; &lt;br /&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Lev&lt;/strong&gt;: Woo! I go to a college! Woo!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Me&lt;/strong&gt;: Stop that. The more you talk about being in college, the less you are. Calm down, freshman.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Lev&lt;/strong&gt;: ...Woo... &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td valign="top" width="35px"&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:2316985"&gt;&lt;img src="http://6.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/88/21/collegehumor.578bf1cc3ae9c4baf58b10ae841cb071.jpg" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;td valign="top"&gt; Written 2010-09-03 13:00:00 by &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:2316985"&gt;Lev Novak&lt;/a&gt; from &lt;a href='http://www.collegehumor.com/school:540'&gt;Tufts University&lt;/a&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;img src='http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif' align='texttop' /&gt; 17 likes&lt;/p&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;/table&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/f8ogCgZMsWXb5rU0OkPFoGRjYvY/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/f8ogCgZMsWXb5rU0OkPFoGRjYvY/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/f8ogCgZMsWXb5rU0OkPFoGRjYvY/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/f8ogCgZMsWXb5rU0OkPFoGRjYvY/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=W94E2Gh-KgM:UN-EOmUEyuE:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=W94E2Gh-KgM:UN-EOmUEyuE:V_sGLiPBpWU"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?i=W94E2Gh-KgM:UN-EOmUEyuE:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=W94E2Gh-KgM:UN-EOmUEyuE:qj6IDK7rITs"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~4/W94E2Gh-KgM" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</description> <feedburner:origLink>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808764</feedburner:origLink></item><item> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808829</guid> <title>Party Permission Slip</title> <pubDate>Thu, 02 Sep 2010 18:00:00 -0400</pubDate> <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~3/vZM1JGuWX_Q/article:1808829</link> <description>&lt;table border=0 width="360px"&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;div class="center_a3 full_a4 noborder_a3" style="width:600px;"&gt;&lt;img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/96/69/d7905d158a8164842b69da5e140665ba.jpg" width="600" /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td valign="top" width="35px"&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:326"&gt;&lt;img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/21/81/collegehumor.45397a4c6c8241522ef776b95348cf0f.jpg" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;td valign="top"&gt; Written 2010-09-02 18:00:00 by &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:326"&gt;Jeff Rosenberg&lt;/a&gt; from &lt;a href='http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1236'&gt;New York University&lt;/a&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;img src='http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif' align='texttop' /&gt; 228 likes&lt;/p&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;/table&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/-ewq1RnEMuWz42BHC_f8UCag92E/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/-ewq1RnEMuWz42BHC_f8UCag92E/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/-ewq1RnEMuWz42BHC_f8UCag92E/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/-ewq1RnEMuWz42BHC_f8UCag92E/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=vZM1JGuWX_Q:6QwNzRE23Wg:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=vZM1JGuWX_Q:6QwNzRE23Wg:V_sGLiPBpWU"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?i=vZM1JGuWX_Q:6QwNzRE23Wg:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=vZM1JGuWX_Q:6QwNzRE23Wg:qj6IDK7rITs"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~4/vZM1JGuWX_Q" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</description> <feedburner:origLink>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808829</feedburner:origLink></item><item> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808794</guid> <title>Gamebook: 6 Halo Status Updates</title> <pubDate>Thu, 02 Sep 2010 16:29:00 -0400</pubDate> <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~3/uk_qDPHInQ4/article:1808794</link> <description>&lt;table border=0 width="360px"&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;div class="center_a3 full_a4 noborder_a3" style="width:600px;"&gt;&lt;img src="http://8.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/64/87/cbf2dc81f12d8b93d95ef0601407bae9.jpg" width="600" /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;div class="center_a3 full_a4 noborder_a3" style="width:600px;"&gt;&lt;img src="http://6.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/51/31/f5112f029061bd185c372715001d408f.jpg" width="600" /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/p&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td valign="top" width="35px"&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1549923"&gt;&lt;img src="http://1.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/66/65/collegehumor.70cb64a9b8bb8a3b536f3c6860c70a9a.jpg" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;td valign="top"&gt; Written 2010-09-02 16:29:00 by &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1549923"&gt;Andrew Bridgman&lt;/a&gt; from &lt;a href='http://www.collegehumor.com/school:156'&gt;Purdue University&lt;/a&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;img src='http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif' align='texttop' /&gt; 11 likes&lt;/p&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;/table&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/P1J-bdbR9p4ingqfJTXrchoWrmE/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/P1J-bdbR9p4ingqfJTXrchoWrmE/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/P1J-bdbR9p4ingqfJTXrchoWrmE/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/P1J-bdbR9p4ingqfJTXrchoWrmE/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=uk_qDPHInQ4:cV8n0DASAFU:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=uk_qDPHInQ4:cV8n0DASAFU:V_sGLiPBpWU"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?i=uk_qDPHInQ4:cV8n0DASAFU:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=uk_qDPHInQ4:cV8n0DASAFU:qj6IDK7rITs"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~4/uk_qDPHInQ4" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</description> <feedburner:origLink>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808794</feedburner:origLink></item><item> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808682</guid> <title>Dating, It's Complicated: Issue #64</title> <pubDate>Thu, 02 Sep 2010 16:00:00 -0400</pubDate> <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~3/T_XKS4sljfU/article:1808682</link> <description>&lt;table border=0 width="360px"&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;p&gt;Dating someone? Well great! Send your craziest, funniest, most embarrassing dating related stories to me using this &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/submit/dating-its-complicated"&gt;cool automatic submission form&lt;/a&gt;!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;div class="right_a3 small_a4 border_a3"&gt;&lt;img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/81/97/9ad3d73b510d970c343e829c4e745847.jpg" width="200" /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;So me and this guy had been hooking up/having sex for about six months behind his girlfriend's back (i know, i know, i was 17 and "in love"). One morning after a night of seriously awesome sex, he comes into the Juice it Up where I worked at the time and gets a free smoothie like he usually does. I make it for him and we flirt a bit and talk about how great the night before was...I was super happy, convinced he was finally going to break up with his girlfriend...until he asked me if I could make her a free smoothie too...&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;-Sara&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;So me and my girlfriend were at Barnes and Noble a few days ago and saw this biography in the bargain section. My girlfriend looked at the cover and asked me if it was the main character guy from Hot Rod... it was a book about Bob Dylan&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;-Anonymous&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;When we just started dating, my fianc&amp;eacute; sent me a sexy topless photo of herself on AIM. Great huh? The problem is she sent it to me during my Intro to Business final which consisted of power point presentation shown directly from my computer.&amp;nbsp; So in the middle of my business plan for an indoor water park, her boobs came on screen. I got rid of it quick but my professor docked me 5 points for "distractions.&amp;rdquo;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;-Anonymous&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td valign="top" width="35px"&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1171873"&gt;&lt;img src="http://6.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/58/54/collegehumor.34fb0a748e9767bd8891bea7cfb6f87d.jpg" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;td valign="top"&gt; Written 2010-09-02 16:00:00 by &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1171873"&gt;Jason&lt;/a&gt; from &lt;a href='http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1146'&gt;University of Illinois at Urbana Champaign&lt;/a&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;img src='http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif' align='texttop' /&gt; 69 likes&lt;/p&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;/table&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/kHyqvs3Ewbidy6cNdYSMG8fVa64/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/kHyqvs3Ewbidy6cNdYSMG8fVa64/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/kHyqvs3Ewbidy6cNdYSMG8fVa64/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/kHyqvs3Ewbidy6cNdYSMG8fVa64/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=T_XKS4sljfU:m1Y3EhoyasM:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=T_XKS4sljfU:m1Y3EhoyasM:V_sGLiPBpWU"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?i=T_XKS4sljfU:m1Y3EhoyasM:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=T_XKS4sljfU:m1Y3EhoyasM:qj6IDK7rITs"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~4/T_XKS4sljfU" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</description> <feedburner:origLink>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808682</feedburner:origLink></item><item> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808751</guid> <title>(Cow)Boys Night Out</title> <pubDate>Thu, 02 Sep 2010 13:00:00 -0400</pubDate> <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~3/IW0ZwglFvoY/article:1808751</link> <description>&lt;table border=0 width="360px"&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;div class="center_a3 full_a4 noborder_a3" style="width:600px;"&gt;&lt;img src="http://2.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/45/88/00a63ae10173fdc7d503d6dc8d64f672.jpg" width="600" /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td valign="top" width="35px"&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1773734"&gt;&lt;img src="http://1.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/88/90/collegehumor.57b9b2d3278865fd9ffeb557d998b3c0.jpg" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;td valign="top"&gt; Written 2010-09-02 13:00:00 by &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1773734"&gt;Pat Keegan&lt;/a&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;img src='http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif' align='texttop' /&gt; 18 likes&lt;/p&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;/table&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/oOFmEMvpHZOtEgt3Emqm-x7EMxM/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/oOFmEMvpHZOtEgt3Emqm-x7EMxM/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/oOFmEMvpHZOtEgt3Emqm-x7EMxM/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/oOFmEMvpHZOtEgt3Emqm-x7EMxM/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=IW0ZwglFvoY:TCooHqV6vmQ:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=IW0ZwglFvoY:TCooHqV6vmQ:V_sGLiPBpWU"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?i=IW0ZwglFvoY:TCooHqV6vmQ:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=IW0ZwglFvoY:TCooHqV6vmQ:qj6IDK7rITs"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~4/IW0ZwglFvoY" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</description> <feedburner:origLink>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808751</feedburner:origLink></item><item> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808793</guid> <title>Da Vinci's 'Vitruvian Man' Goes To College</title> <pubDate>Wed, 01 Sep 2010 18:00:00 -0400</pubDate> <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~3/hal3fPO5q-0/article:1808793</link> <description>&lt;table border=0 width="360px"&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;div class="center_a3 full_a4 noborder_a3" style="width:600px;"&gt;&lt;img src="http://1.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/84/33/d0b5c7ae4ce373f5c613dced4775206b.jpg" width="600" /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;div class="center_a3 full_a4 noborder_a3" style="width:600px;"&gt;&lt;img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/54/54/b29fd72652cd8cce7432ea4676943f1a.jpg" width="600" /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td valign="top" width="35px"&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1657072"&gt;&lt;img src="http://1.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/65/70/collegehumor.ebd36bdbb0f48ae468c97faa091fb4b9.jpg" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;td valign="top"&gt; Written 2010-09-01 18:00:00 by &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1657072"&gt;Conor McKeon&lt;/a&gt; from &lt;a href='http://www.collegehumor.com/school:529'&gt;Rhode Island College&lt;/a&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;img src='http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif' align='texttop' /&gt; 531 likes&lt;/p&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;/table&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/W_kfz3alEFsls1FqA7sbsjoRKv0/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/W_kfz3alEFsls1FqA7sbsjoRKv0/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/W_kfz3alEFsls1FqA7sbsjoRKv0/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/W_kfz3alEFsls1FqA7sbsjoRKv0/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=hal3fPO5q-0:4TJDKDytSoY:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=hal3fPO5q-0:4TJDKDytSoY:V_sGLiPBpWU"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?i=hal3fPO5q-0:4TJDKDytSoY:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=hal3fPO5q-0:4TJDKDytSoY:qj6IDK7rITs"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~4/hal3fPO5q-0" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</description> <feedburner:origLink>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808793</feedburner:origLink></item><item> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808763</guid> <title>Parents Just Don't Understand: 9/1</title> <pubDate>Wed, 01 Sep 2010 16:00:00 -0400</pubDate> <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~3/vSMSxaiPuvU/article:1808763</link> <description>&lt;table border=0 width="360px"&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;div class="custom_article"&gt;&lt;p class="ca_intro" style="text-align: center;"&gt;&lt;em&gt;Do your parents not understand technology? Do they ask you stupid questions? Do they send you absurd text messages? Do they use words like "MyFace,""SpaceBook,"or "The World Wide Web?" &lt;br /&gt;If you've got an example of your Parents Just Don't Understanding, &lt;a href="/submit/parents-just-dont-understand" target="_blank"&gt;submit it here!&lt;/a&gt; &lt;br /&gt;And thank God we'll never be as dumb as they are!&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="right_a3 small_a4 border_a3"&gt;&lt;img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/57/19/279b7afe49c22d2b523da8c7e5f968ea.jpg" width="200" /&gt;&lt;div class="caption"&gt;Your parents' white board.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;p&gt;My mom is convinced that in order for her to use Skype she needs to have Internet Explorer open so she is "connected to the internet."&lt;br /&gt;&lt;strong&gt;E Beck&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;My mom, after years of semi-successfully emailing me, sent me an empty email with an attachment that led to a Google Doc asking me to send her a picture of my new haircut. WTF mom? I'm surprised although I guess I shouldn't be since you still insist on holding the house phone to your ear while you skype me...&lt;br /&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Jill W from McGill&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Every time I'm listening to loud music on my pc, my father still tells me to "turn down the radio." I don't have a radio.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Rodrigo Far&amp;iacute;as&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;My mom has a friend who was abroad and she chat with her everyday through facebook or gmail. One day she told me that her friend said chatting through msn is faster. She asked, "Is there any in the house?"&lt;br /&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Vinnie V&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;My grandmother asked me today if I needed to get a separate laptop to use for my French classes because the one I have now doesn't have french buttons.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Scrub Tibbles&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td valign="top" width="35px"&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:945989"&gt;&lt;img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/16/11/collegehumor.8879997c887ae4b37f766c44f2de531f.jpg" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;td valign="top"&gt; Written 2010-09-01 16:00:00 by &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:945989"&gt;Susanna Wolff&lt;/a&gt; from &lt;a href='http://www.collegehumor.com/school:53'&gt;Columbia University&lt;/a&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;img src='http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif' align='texttop' /&gt; 68 likes&lt;/p&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;/table&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/p4auqa5v4EHydeP8E-s0KP5NcaE/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/p4auqa5v4EHydeP8E-s0KP5NcaE/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/p4auqa5v4EHydeP8E-s0KP5NcaE/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/p4auqa5v4EHydeP8E-s0KP5NcaE/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=vSMSxaiPuvU:1eXiGkBeSPc:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=vSMSxaiPuvU:1eXiGkBeSPc:V_sGLiPBpWU"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?i=vSMSxaiPuvU:1eXiGkBeSPc:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=vSMSxaiPuvU:1eXiGkBeSPc:qj6IDK7rITs"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~4/vSMSxaiPuvU" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</description> <feedburner:origLink>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808763</feedburner:origLink></item><item> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808788</guid> <title>The Dorklyst: The 10 Greatest World of Warcraft Videos on the Internet</title> <pubDate>Wed, 01 Sep 2010 16:00:00 -0400</pubDate> <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~3/kXytMYXtzq8/article:1808788</link> <description>&lt;table border=0 width="360px"&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;div class="center_a3 full_a4 noborder_a3" style="width:600px;"&gt;&lt;img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/91/33/dd37d0b7d9eefae8d44eb7d88fd49323.jpg" width="600" /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;p&gt;People like to make jokes at the expense of WoW players, and with all the videos of them smashing monitors and throwing temper tantrums on the Internet, it's not too surprising. Finding the best Warcraft videos on the web is like trying to pick your favorite pizza topping: They're all so damn good that it's hard to narrow it down. But we did our best. Here's our tribute to the greatest freakouts, pranks, and embarrassing moments in Warcraft videos.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;h2&gt;&lt;span style="color: #000000;"&gt;10. &lt;/span&gt;&lt;/h2&gt;&lt;/p&gt; &lt;object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" data="http://www.dorkly.com/moogaloop/noobtube.swf?clip_id=1783&amp;fullscreen=1" width="600" height="338"&gt;&lt;param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"/&gt;&lt;param name="wmode" value="transparent"/&gt;&lt;param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"/&gt;&lt;param name="movie" quality="best" value="http://www.dorkly.com/moogaloop/noobtube.swf?clip_id=1783&amp;fullscreen=1"/&gt;&lt;/object&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt; &lt;p&gt;There's emerging genre of Internet video featuring girls destroying their boyfriend's gadgets (or in this case, characters) and then recording the fallout. You can actually see this guy go through the first two stages of grief almost immediately: "Hmmm, that's strange. My main character isn't showing up on my server login screen. No worries, it's probably just some kind of load error. I'll just go ahead and log back in...And he's still gone. This has to be some kind of mistake, unless someone deleted my char....AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SMASH. SMASH. SMASH." From denial to unbridled anger in just a few seconds!&lt;/p&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td valign="top" width="35px"&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:2484659"&gt;&lt;img src="http://5.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/76/41/collegehumor.bfaf09e48f11373018f3c6bc9dfb5fa3.jpg" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;td valign="top"&gt; Written 2010-09-01 16:00:00 by &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:2484659"&gt;Dorkly&lt;/a&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;img src='http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif' align='texttop' /&gt; 40 likes&lt;/p&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;/table&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/2jcF23-G13EP2dmzPK6DcuVYA0k/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/2jcF23-G13EP2dmzPK6DcuVYA0k/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/2jcF23-G13EP2dmzPK6DcuVYA0k/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/2jcF23-G13EP2dmzPK6DcuVYA0k/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=kXytMYXtzq8:Pp3jZkhxjqY:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=kXytMYXtzq8:Pp3jZkhxjqY:V_sGLiPBpWU"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?i=kXytMYXtzq8:Pp3jZkhxjqY:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=kXytMYXtzq8:Pp3jZkhxjqY:qj6IDK7rITs"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~4/kXytMYXtzq8" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</description> <feedburner:origLink>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808788</feedburner:origLink></item><item> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808791</guid> <title>The 13 Fans At Every College Football Game</title> <pubDate>Wed, 01 Sep 2010 15:00:00 -0400</pubDate> <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~3/GLda817IQAg/article:1808791</link> <description>&lt;table border=0 width="360px"&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;div class="center_a3 full_a4 border_a3" style="width:600px;"&gt;&lt;img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/61/80/52941ea1cc645fa83bffb0a31c3192c8.jpg" width="600" /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;#1 -- &lt;/strong&gt;&lt;strong&gt;The Visiting Parents&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;They drove five hours to come see their kid at college and thought they could all take in a game together. They would think that. Idiots. Jesus, do they not realize how embarrassing they are? Their kid has lived on his own at school for, like, a month now. He's grown. The last thing he needs is his mom and dad asking about whether or not he's made friends and how his classes are. Just shut up and try to make it through the next 36 hours without humiliating him too much, MOM. Oh, and they're going to Target after the game. There's a bunch of stuff he needs them to buy for his dorm room.&lt;/p&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td valign="top" width="35px"&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:2311541"&gt;&lt;img src="http://2.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/53/17/collegehumor.339a1b7cc9de91bae7559ddd252e96a0.jpg" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;td valign="top"&gt; Written 2010-09-01 15:00:00 by &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:2311541"&gt;Sports Pickle&lt;/a&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;img src='http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif' align='texttop' /&gt; 2 likes&lt;/p&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;/table&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/xSujzfpMTKXB_zuehy3wrXnTqzg/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/xSujzfpMTKXB_zuehy3wrXnTqzg/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/xSujzfpMTKXB_zuehy3wrXnTqzg/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/xSujzfpMTKXB_zuehy3wrXnTqzg/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=GLda817IQAg:XhwKA2Jl8uk:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=GLda817IQAg:XhwKA2Jl8uk:V_sGLiPBpWU"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?i=GLda817IQAg:XhwKA2Jl8uk:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=GLda817IQAg:XhwKA2Jl8uk:qj6IDK7rITs"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~4/GLda817IQAg" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</description> <feedburner:origLink>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808791</feedburner:origLink></item><item> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808052</guid> <title>What they must have been whispering at the end of Cruel Intentions</title> <pubDate>Wed, 01 Sep 2010 14:00:00 -0400</pubDate> <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~3/hLHZPckaB44/article:1808052</link> <description>&lt;table border=0 width="360px"&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;div class="center_a3 full_a4 border_a3" style="width:600px;"&gt;&lt;img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/52/26/53ff830e81830dcb559fb9cf92bf2715.jpg" width="600" /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Girl:&amp;nbsp;&lt;/strong&gt;Hey, Mike! We have to leave now.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Guy:&lt;/strong&gt; What? In the middle of Kathryn&amp;rsquo;s eulogy?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Girl:&lt;/strong&gt;&amp;nbsp;You&amp;rsquo;ll never guess what she did. So listen to this: it turns out that her and Sebastian had this weird, sexually tense relationship, and at one point they had a bet going, and if he won the bet he got to f*** her&amp;hellip;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Guy:&lt;/strong&gt;&amp;nbsp;What??&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Girl:&lt;/strong&gt;&amp;nbsp;Well, okay so&amp;mdash;they&amp;rsquo;re really just step-siblings. No one seems to realize that, but it&amp;rsquo;s kind of important to the story. Because now it&amp;rsquo;s not that weird for him, right?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Guy:&lt;/strong&gt;&amp;nbsp;I mean, I guess not. I don&amp;rsquo;t know if I can get over that though.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Girl:&lt;/strong&gt;&amp;nbsp;Well, just hang on a sec. Now the bet, and this is where it looks kind of bad on his part initially, is that he couldn&amp;rsquo;t f*** the headmaster&amp;rsquo;s daughter&amp;mdash;but hear me out! He ends up falling in love with her, right? So it&amp;rsquo;s real sweet and all.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Guy:&lt;/strong&gt;&amp;nbsp;I guess so&amp;hellip; &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td valign="top" width="35px"&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1159530"&gt;&lt;img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/84/73/collegehumor.bef42cd8e1239ba06fddacb0cd97bf57.jpg" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;td valign="top"&gt; Written 2010-09-01 14:00:00 by &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1159530"&gt;Jesse E&lt;/a&gt; from &lt;a href='http://www.collegehumor.com/school:141'&gt;Rutgers University&lt;/a&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;img src='http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif' align='texttop' /&gt; 28 likes&lt;/p&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;/table&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/XCywIipDG8S-jKQpeTHeqPFuDG0/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/XCywIipDG8S-jKQpeTHeqPFuDG0/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/XCywIipDG8S-jKQpeTHeqPFuDG0/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/XCywIipDG8S-jKQpeTHeqPFuDG0/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=hLHZPckaB44:Dul0SU3fYLs:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=hLHZPckaB44:Dul0SU3fYLs:V_sGLiPBpWU"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?i=hLHZPckaB44:Dul0SU3fYLs:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=hLHZPckaB44:Dul0SU3fYLs:qj6IDK7rITs"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~4/hLHZPckaB44" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</description> <feedburner:origLink>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808052</feedburner:origLink></item><item> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808780</guid> <title>Orientation Week Parties</title> <pubDate>Wed, 01 Sep 2010 13:00:00 -0400</pubDate> <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~3/GY9QcVcmFgI/article:1808780</link> <description>&lt;table border=0 width="360px"&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;div class="center_a3 full_a4 border_a3" style="width:600px;"&gt;&lt;img src="http://4.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/97/81/5feaef493d60581b2c4db90748ade776.jpg" width="600" /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/p&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td valign="top" width="35px"&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:21877"&gt;&lt;img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/64/28/collegehumor.410f4f84538571c78218e93585c6a5bb.jpg" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;td valign="top"&gt; Written 2010-09-01 13:00:00 by &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:21877"&gt;CH Staff&lt;/a&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;img src='http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif' align='texttop' /&gt; 99 likes&lt;/p&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;/table&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/X2AhmF_NP5YzUc9Rxq_QeE251kI/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/X2AhmF_NP5YzUc9Rxq_QeE251kI/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/X2AhmF_NP5YzUc9Rxq_QeE251kI/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/X2AhmF_NP5YzUc9Rxq_QeE251kI/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=GY9QcVcmFgI:9k7ueYIwJws:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=GY9QcVcmFgI:9k7ueYIwJws:V_sGLiPBpWU"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?i=GY9QcVcmFgI:9k7ueYIwJws:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=GY9QcVcmFgI:9k7ueYIwJws:qj6IDK7rITs"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~4/GY9QcVcmFgI" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</description> <feedburner:origLink>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808780</feedburner:origLink></item><item> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808757</guid> <title>The 8 People You Meet During Freshman Orientation</title> <pubDate>Tue, 31 Aug 2010 18:00:00 -0400</pubDate> <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~3/0VdfHHKEqvs/article:1808757</link> <description>&lt;table border=0 width="360px"&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;div class="left_a3 small_a4 border_a3"&gt;&lt;img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/89/46/ee5b7571df1cb04015f6c04313e4d613.jpg" width="200" /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div id="_mcePaste" style="position: absolute; left: -10000px; top: 0px; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;"&gt;1. The Jaded Genius&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div id="_mcePaste" style="position: absolute; left: -10000px; top: 0px; width: 1px; height: 1px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden;"&gt;You know this school you worked so hard to get into? It was this girl's safety school. And she's pissed to be here. In fact, she's still wearing her Princeton sweatshirt she bought in March just so you know that she knows that she's better than you. That's how sure she was that she was going to get in. She will try and transfer as soon as possible, and god help her if she has to stay in this sh*thole longer than a semester.&lt;/div&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt; 1. The Jaded Genius&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;You know this school you worked so hard to get into? It was this girl's safety school. And she's pissed to be here. In fact, she's still wearing her Princeton sweatshirt she bought in March just so you know that she knows that she's better than you. That's how sure she was that she was going to get in. She will try and transfer as soon as possible, and god help her if she has to stay in this sh*thole longer than a semester.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;div class="left_a3 small_a4 border_a3"&gt;&lt;img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/98/71/28a3e2cec558c946d71b0f1c012f57ad.jpg" width="200" /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;2. That Douchebag From Your High School&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Unless you are going to college in one of the former Yugoslav republics, there will be at least one assh*le from your high school who has never talked to you. Now that he is out of his natural environment of your hometown where he is friends with other douchebags, he will cling to you and pretend you have always been good friends. He will drop you as soon as someone that isn't you talks to him.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;div class="left_a3 small_a4 border_a3"&gt;&lt;img src="http://1.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/42/95/ae8bf59891f2f9994e4cb54a6499b580.jpg" width="200" /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;3. The Foreign Kid&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;This guy is from some Asian country, and you really aren't sure which. He is dressed very nicely because his parents incorrectly assumed Americans have respect for higher education. He also has thick glasses and a cell phone way cooler than anything they sell in America. In a couple of weeks, he will be the kid ruining the curve on your computer science midterm.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td valign="top" width="35px"&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1673564"&gt;&lt;img src="http://5.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/68/43/collegehumor.0704b822017d91bc2632f732e25aea81.jpg" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;td valign="top"&gt; Written 2010-08-31 18:00:00 by &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1673564"&gt;Matt Powers&lt;/a&gt; from &lt;a href='http://www.collegehumor.com/school:215'&gt;Pennsylvania State University&lt;/a&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;img src='http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif' align='texttop' /&gt; 1022 likes&lt;/p&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;/table&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/VvaDSyQb21oeBuJZDARFbxFOkqg/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/VvaDSyQb21oeBuJZDARFbxFOkqg/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/VvaDSyQb21oeBuJZDARFbxFOkqg/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/VvaDSyQb21oeBuJZDARFbxFOkqg/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=0VdfHHKEqvs:KArwCwFyWvY:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=0VdfHHKEqvs:KArwCwFyWvY:V_sGLiPBpWU"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?i=0VdfHHKEqvs:KArwCwFyWvY:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=0VdfHHKEqvs:KArwCwFyWvY:qj6IDK7rITs"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~4/0VdfHHKEqvs" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</description> <feedburner:origLink>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808757</feedburner:origLink></item><item> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808067</guid> <title>The Body Wakes Up</title> <pubDate>Tue, 31 Aug 2010 17:00:00 -0400</pubDate> <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~3/zC7zzRWIbWQ/article:1808067</link> <description>&lt;table border=0 width="360px"&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ears&lt;/strong&gt;: Ok, everyone, that&amp;rsquo;s the alarm. Time to get up.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Brain&lt;/strong&gt;: &amp;hellip;urg.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ears&lt;/strong&gt;: Oh, shut up brain. What are you complaining about? I&amp;rsquo;m the one who has to listen to freakin&amp;rsquo; Michael Bubl&amp;eacute; first thing every morning.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Brain&lt;/strong&gt;: &amp;hellip;blurg.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ears&lt;/strong&gt;: I swear, if it gets to the chorus and I&amp;rsquo;m the only one awake for it again, you&amp;rsquo;re all going to have an ear infection to deal with in about three days.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Brain&lt;/strong&gt;: Ok, ok, I&amp;rsquo;m up. Look, sorry about Michael Bubl&amp;eacute;. He just really likes &amp;ldquo;Haven&amp;rsquo;t Met You Yet,&amp;rdquo; and this is the only time he can listen to it without anyone else knowing.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Penis&lt;/strong&gt;: But what if some girl sleeps over?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Stomach&lt;/strong&gt;: Seriously? Have you seen me lately?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Penis&lt;/strong&gt;: *&lt;em&gt;Sigh&lt;/em&gt;* Yeah, I have&amp;hellip;damn it.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Brain&lt;/strong&gt;: Come on, guys, figuring out how to get someone to spend the night here is a problem for four in the morning, not seven in the morning. Let&amp;rsquo;s focus on getting the eyes open right now.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Eyes&lt;/strong&gt;: No.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ears&lt;/strong&gt;: Come &lt;em&gt;on&lt;/em&gt;, eyes, we&amp;rsquo;re almost at the second verse already. Let&amp;rsquo;s get going.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Eyes&lt;/strong&gt;: It&amp;rsquo;s still dark out. It&amp;rsquo;s illegal to be awake when it&amp;rsquo;s still dark out.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Brain&lt;/strong&gt;: Eyes, we go through this every morning. You only think it&amp;rsquo;s still dark out because you&amp;rsquo;re closed. If you just open, you&amp;rsquo;ll realize the sun&amp;rsquo;s up.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Eyes&lt;/strong&gt;: &amp;hellip;No. I&amp;rsquo;m pretty sure you&amp;rsquo;re lying this time.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Brain&lt;/strong&gt;: OH MY GOD IT&amp;rsquo;S A HOT GIRL! HOT GIRL IN THE ROOM RIGHT NOW! &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td valign="top" width="35px"&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1596776"&gt;&lt;img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/25/16/c0be79e9eac7d4c6e67532ac43a294d4.jpg" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;td valign="top"&gt; Written 2010-08-31 17:00:00 by &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1596776"&gt;Van Small&lt;/a&gt; from &lt;a href='http://www.collegehumor.com/school:300'&gt;Dickinson College&lt;/a&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;img src='http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif' align='texttop' /&gt; 70 likes&lt;/p&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;/table&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/AG6vhWuxt_MDS4rtfn3HxzaKu7g/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/AG6vhWuxt_MDS4rtfn3HxzaKu7g/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/AG6vhWuxt_MDS4rtfn3HxzaKu7g/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/AG6vhWuxt_MDS4rtfn3HxzaKu7g/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=zC7zzRWIbWQ:bbrAj32STKs:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=zC7zzRWIbWQ:bbrAj32STKs:V_sGLiPBpWU"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?i=zC7zzRWIbWQ:bbrAj32STKs:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=zC7zzRWIbWQ:bbrAj32STKs:qj6IDK7rITs"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~4/zC7zzRWIbWQ" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</description> <feedburner:origLink>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808067</feedburner:origLink></item><item> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808738</guid> <title>Pwn My Life: Issue #25</title> <pubDate>Tue, 31 Aug 2010 16:00:00 -0400</pubDate> <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~3/fdo_iyQ9woI/article:1808738</link> <description>&lt;table border=0 width="360px"&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;div class="right_a3 small_a4 border_a3"&gt;&lt;img src="http://6.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/31/26/bcb2f430a63e4daf63108d88757b040a.jpg" width="200" /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at &lt;a href="http://www.dorkly.com/tag/pwn-my-life" target="_blank"&gt;Dorkly.com&lt;/a&gt;, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;I work at a TV station and, when I'm not running camera for the news, I build graphics. For one graphic tonight, they asked for music items (orchestra, instruments, etc). I built a custom sheet music bit with the first part of "Lost Woods (Saria's Song)" from Ocarina of Time on the graphic. I'm hoping that anyone that can slightly read sheet music and knows Ocarina of Time watches the 10 O'clock news.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;strong&gt;-Anonymous&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;A few weeks ago, I fell asleep making out with my girlfriend because I had stayed up all night playing Braid.&lt;br /&gt; &lt;strong&gt;-Jean-Luc&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;When I was 2, I wanted an NES. My parents told me that "Santa" would bring me a Nintendo if I became potty-trained. With little difficulty, I mastered the ability of using a toilet. Christmas day arrived, and I recieved my NES. I also went back to crapping my pants. "Santa" visited my house again in the middle of the night and "stole" my system. He left behind a note changing the terms of our agreement, and promptly "returned" my beloved Nintendo after I agreed to always use an actual bathroom.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;strong&gt;-Troy&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;The only thing that pisses me off about being short is that I can't do Sephiroth cosplay without looking silly.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;strong&gt;-Anonymous&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td valign="top" width="35px"&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494"&gt;&lt;img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/28/48/collegehumor.1ebdc016b6a755f26d15935cca7f7934.jpg" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;td valign="top"&gt; Written 2010-08-31 16:00:00 by &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494"&gt;Kevin Corrigan&lt;/a&gt; from &lt;a href='http://www.collegehumor.com/school:344'&gt;Rowan University&lt;/a&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;img src='http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif' align='texttop' /&gt; 51 likes&lt;/p&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;/table&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/DMmiSAG3HOQNwqsiW5Y6YY34u4Q/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/DMmiSAG3HOQNwqsiW5Y6YY34u4Q/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/DMmiSAG3HOQNwqsiW5Y6YY34u4Q/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/DMmiSAG3HOQNwqsiW5Y6YY34u4Q/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=fdo_iyQ9woI:RRhg04YlA7k:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=fdo_iyQ9woI:RRhg04YlA7k:V_sGLiPBpWU"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?i=fdo_iyQ9woI:RRhg04YlA7k:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=fdo_iyQ9woI:RRhg04YlA7k:qj6IDK7rITs"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~4/fdo_iyQ9woI" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</description> <feedburner:origLink>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808738</feedburner:origLink></item><item> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808749</guid> <title>8 Games on Impossible Mode</title> <pubDate>Tue, 31 Aug 2010 16:00:00 -0400</pubDate> <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~3/rC7GQIBDoh0/article:1808749</link> <description>&lt;table border=0 width="360px"&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;div class="center_a3 full_a4 noborder_a3" style="width:600px;"&gt;&lt;img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/43/51/9c713851dc408fcf69989ef6aa6deac9.jpg" width="600" /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;div class="center_a3 full_a4 noborder_a3" style="width:600px;"&gt;&lt;img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/32/48/0338dc85a469e02978ec49a32d16ea98.jpg" width="600" /&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;/p&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td colspan="2"&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;tr&gt; &lt;td valign="top" width="35px"&gt; &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1549923"&gt;&lt;img src="http://1.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/66/65/collegehumor.70cb64a9b8bb8a3b536f3c6860c70a9a.jpg" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;td valign="top"&gt; Written 2010-08-31 16:00:00 by &lt;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1549923"&gt;Andrew Bridgman&lt;/a&gt; from &lt;a href='http://www.collegehumor.com/school:156'&gt;Purdue University&lt;/a&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;img src='http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif' align='texttop' /&gt; 6 likes&lt;/p&gt; &lt;/td&gt; &lt;/tr&gt; &lt;/table&gt; &lt;hr/&gt; &lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/36hxGM3rgWR2pLHi0mugkEkVFUY/0/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/36hxGM3rgWR2pLHi0mugkEkVFUY/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br/&gt; &lt;a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/36hxGM3rgWR2pLHi0mugkEkVFUY/1/da"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/36hxGM3rgWR2pLHi0mugkEkVFUY/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=rC7GQIBDoh0:WhI8_Rw0dWg:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=rC7GQIBDoh0:WhI8_Rw0dWg:V_sGLiPBpWU"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?i=rC7GQIBDoh0:WhI8_Rw0dWg:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?a=rC7GQIBDoh0:WhI8_Rw0dWg:qj6IDK7rITs"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/collegehumor/articles?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~4/rC7GQIBDoh0" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</description> <feedburner:origLink>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808749</feedburner:origLink></item> </channel> </rss>
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It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 7 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years now. We finally moved in to together. Needless to say our first 3 months living together have been a little rocky. I was feeling that I needed an outlet to vent my frustration with her, when the opportunity finally presented itself. When my GF left to go pick up dinner I was left to watch her niece and nephew, twins, age 2. I took the opportunity and handed them the permanent markers out of my GF's backpack. I also gave them her brand new hardcover edition of the Black's Law Dictionary, and all of her current law school textbooks. They went to town ruining over a $1,500.00 worth of her books. I got out of it by pretending I got locked in the garage while doing laundry (our garage door is broken so the only way in is through the door that locks easily from inside the house.) She told her sister that the kids can't come over anymore. Things have been going pretty good for us since then.

I Love My Girlfriend, Most of the Time

5 years ago when I was attending my last year of boarding high school I was kicked off the hockey team for sending another teams captain and coach to the hospital after they instructed their team to trip, check from behind, and slash our team. I was, at the time, 6'2" 190 and the best defense the school had ever seen. My roommate was in charge of sharpening the skates before every game and after every 3 practices. Before the 2nd to last game (very important) I offered to do the skate sharpening for my roommate so he could sleep. After sharpening all the skates I put a very thin layer of clear dry glue on the dominant edge (inner side of the blade) of each players skates. It was amazing watching the whole team consistently face plant all over the ice. Sorry you all didn't make it to state for the first time in 10 years. Sorry roomie that you got fired from the hockey team work study. Sorry coach you lost your job. Next time don't kick your #1 player off for inducing justice.
Anonymous

As opposed to the ever growing douch-baggedness of the confessions on this series, I have an old school prank confession. Me and a bunch of my buddies managed to get a hold of some saran wrap (compliments of the director of food services) and we covered all of this kid's stuff with it. Desk, bed, rolling chair, we got it all. But before we did that, we took all his sheets, pillows, laptop, and desk accessories and put them in his closet. Before duct taping the hole in the wall that was the closet we put this one girl in there and duct taped her in. We did all this while this kid, who was a good friend of all of us, was in the bathroom/showering. Needless to say, he was shocked. But nothing could ever beat his reaction when the girl popped out of his sheets/pillows while he was de-taping his closet. The kid got his revenge though. Being best described as Walter Kowolski from Gran Tarino, he beat the crap out of all of us with his belt.
Franchise X from Siena College

My roommate at the fraternity this summer was a b*tch. He complained that he needed constant light and sound to sleep at night, so the Disney Channel would be blaring at full volume 24-7. He was a huge slob too, leaving week-old pizza boxes and dirty laundry all over the place. He left the whole mess behind when he went to study abroad. One night, my best friend/greek little sister got sexiled, so naturally I let her crash on my couch. Little did I know she would decide to sleepwalk across the room in the middle of the night, drop her


Written 2010-09-06 16:00:00 by Jeff Rosenberg from New York University

5 likes



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XmlText10 Pokemon Pick-up Lines
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Written 2010-09-03 16:31:00 by Andrew Bridgman from Purdue University

20 likes



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Things look a little different when you're a freshman...


Written 2010-09-03 16:02:00 by Alex Watt from Siena College

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XmlTextThe Internet Is Full of Lonely People
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Written 2010-09-03 15:00:00 by Susanna Wolff from Columbia University

317 likes



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XmlText105%: Issue One Hundred and Thirty Five
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Kid-Tested, Bone Thugs-N-Harmony-Approved

Based on all the swastikas carved into bathroom stalls, NAZIs must be the most constipated people on earth.
-Patrick Cassels
Digestively speaking, isn't every fast food joint technically an In-N-Out Burger?
-Kevin Slane (@KSlane)
Have you ever noticed how sick horses just sort of stick together?
-Mark H
I just bought one of those wristwatches that shows you what phase the moon is in. Apparently, right now it's feeling really noncommittal and just getting into Faulkner.
-Joe Petro (@joe_petro)
It's OK for me to make Anne Frank jokes, because my girlfriend looks like Fat Anne Frank.
-Adam Newman (@Adam_Newman)
Sometimes I wish politics were more like math; that way it'd be impossible for our views to be divided by ground zero.
-Caldwell Tanner (@caldy)
It's pretty ironic that anarchists all use the same symbol.
-Conor McKeon (@AConorMcKeon)
Rose is red, Hypnotiq is blue, Moscato is sweet, and I pour whiskey into my coffee every morning on the way to work.
-Hannah Carmen

Written 2010-09-03 14:00:00 by 105%-O-Matic from Bucks County Community College

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XmlTextTime Travel Orientation
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Me: Lev! I've travelled back in time to prepare you for your Freshman year!

Lev: Wow! Future-me!

Me: I have to give you warnings from the future about Freshman year. Because you can change what happens and-

Lev: Oh wow! It's like the fifth season of Lost! That ends cool, right?

Me: ...sure, yeah, totally. But back to business. Our high-school girlfriend? Dump her fast. Sorry.

Lev: What!? But she's perfect, she's the most beautiful, perfect girl at my high school...

Me: Keep going...

Lev: In my grade...of 90 kids...

Me:Go further.

Lev: ...who would get with me.

Me: That's what I thought. Which reminds me: the first girl you hook up with at a frat party is not your girlfriend.

Lev: What? But we made out and everything!

Me: I know. But do not triple text her. You will look creepy.

Lev: Maybe her phone is broken...

Me: No it isn't. And apparently telegrams are 'creepy.'

Lev: Even singing telegrams?

Me: Yeah, it's weird. Girls, right? And another thing: don't wear the same "Tufts" sweatshirt every day. Everyone knows you go there. You're on the campus. You don't need to remind-

Lev: Woo! I go to a college! Woo!

Me: Stop that. The more you talk about being in college, the less you are. Calm down, freshman.

Lev: ...Woo...


Written 2010-09-03 13:00:00 by Lev Novak from Tufts University

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Written 2010-09-02 18:00:00 by Jeff Rosenberg from New York University

228 likes



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Written 2010-09-02 16:29:00 by Andrew Bridgman from Purdue University

11 likes



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XmlTextDating, It's Complicated: Issue #64
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Dating someone? Well great! Send your craziest, funniest, most embarrassing dating related stories to me using this cool automatic submission form!

So me and this guy had been hooking up/having sex for about six months behind his girlfriend's back (i know, i know, i was 17 and "in love"). One morning after a night of seriously awesome sex, he comes into the Juice it Up where I worked at the time and gets a free smoothie like he usually does. I make it for him and we flirt a bit and talk about how great the night before was...I was super happy, convinced he was finally going to break up with his girlfriend...until he asked me if I could make her a free smoothie too...

-Sara

So me and my girlfriend were at Barnes and Noble a few days ago and saw this biography in the bargain section. My girlfriend looked at the cover and asked me if it was the main character guy from Hot Rod... it was a book about Bob Dylan

-Anonymous

When we just started dating, my fiancé sent me a sexy topless photo of herself on AIM. Great huh? The problem is she sent it to me during my Intro to Business final which consisted of power point presentation shown directly from my computer.  So in the middle of my business plan for an indoor water park, her boobs came on screen. I got rid of it quick but my professor docked me 5 points for "distractions.”

-Anonymous


Written 2010-09-02 16:00:00 by Jason from University of Illinois at Urbana Champaign

69 likes



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XmlText(Cow)Boys Night Out
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Written 2010-09-02 13:00:00 by Pat Keegan

18 likes



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XmlTextDa Vinci's 'Vitruvian Man' Goes To College
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Written 2010-09-01 18:00:00 by Conor McKeon from Rhode Island College

531 likes



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Do your parents not understand technology? Do they ask you stupid questions? Do they send you absurd text messages? Do they use words like "MyFace,""SpaceBook,"or "The World Wide Web?"
If you've got an example of your Parents Just Don't Understanding, submit it here!
And thank God we'll never be as dumb as they are!

Your parents' white board.

My mom is convinced that in order for her to use Skype she needs to have Internet Explorer open so she is "connected to the internet."
E Beck

My mom, after years of semi-successfully emailing me, sent me an empty email with an attachment that led to a Google Doc asking me to send her a picture of my new haircut. WTF mom? I'm surprised although I guess I shouldn't be since you still insist on holding the house phone to your ear while you skype me...
Jill W from McGill

Every time I'm listening to loud music on my pc, my father still tells me to "turn down the radio." I don't have a radio.
Rodrigo Farías

My mom has a friend who was abroad and she chat with her everyday through facebook or gmail. One day she told me that her friend said chatting through msn is faster. She asked, "Is there any in the house?"
Vinnie V

My grandmother asked me today if I needed to get a separate laptop to use for my French classes because the one I have now doesn't have french buttons.
Scrub Tibbles


Written 2010-09-01 16:00:00 by Susanna Wolff from Columbia University

68 likes



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XmlTextThe Dorklyst: The 10 Greatest World of Warcraft Videos on the Internet
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People like to make jokes at the expense of WoW players, and with all the videos of them smashing monitors and throwing temper tantrums on the Internet, it's not too surprising. Finding the best Warcraft videos on the web is like trying to pick your favorite pizza topping: They're all so damn good that it's hard to narrow it down. But we did our best. Here's our tribute to the greatest freakouts, pranks, and embarrassing moments in Warcraft videos.


10.




There's emerging genre of Internet video featuring girls destroying their boyfriend's gadgets (or in this case, characters) and then recording the fallout. You can actually see this guy go through the first two stages of grief almost immediately: "Hmmm, that's strange. My main character isn't showing up on my server login screen. No worries, it's probably just some kind of load error. I'll just go ahead and log back in...And he's still gone. This has to be some kind of mistake, unless someone deleted my char....AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SMASH. SMASH. SMASH." From denial to unbridled anger in just a few seconds!


Written 2010-09-01 16:00:00 by Dorkly

40 likes



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XmlTextThe 13 Fans At Every College Football Game
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#1 -- The Visiting Parents

They drove five hours to come see their kid at college and thought they could all take in a game together. They would think that. Idiots. Jesus, do they not realize how embarrassing they are? Their kid has lived on his own at school for, like, a month now. He's grown. The last thing he needs is his mom and dad asking about whether or not he's made friends and how his classes are. Just shut up and try to make it through the next 36 hours without humiliating him too much, MOM. Oh, and they're going to Target after the game. There's a bunch of stuff he needs them to buy for his dorm room.


Written 2010-09-01 15:00:00 by Sports Pickle

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XmlTextWhat they must have been whispering at the end of Cruel Intentions
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Girl: 
Hey, Mike! We have to leave now.

Guy: What? In the middle of Kathryn’s eulogy?

Girl: You’ll never guess what she did. So listen to this: it turns out that her and Sebastian had this weird, sexually tense relationship, and at one point they had a bet going, and if he won the bet he got to f*** her…

Guy: What??

Girl: Well, okay so—they’re really just step-siblings. No one seems to realize that, but it’s kind of important to the story. Because now it’s not that weird for him, right?

Guy: I mean, I guess not. I don’t know if I can get over that though.

Girl: Well, just hang on a sec. Now the bet, and this is where it looks kind of bad on his part initially, is that he couldn’t f*** the headmaster’s daughter—but hear me out! He ends up falling in love with her, right? So it’s real sweet and all.

Guy: I guess so…


Written 2010-09-01 14:00:00 by Jesse E from Rutgers University

28 likes



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Written 2010-09-01 13:00:00 by CH Staff

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1. The Jaded Genius
You know this school you worked so hard to get into? It was this girl's safety school. And she's pissed to be here. In fact, she's still wearing her Princeton sweatshirt she bought in March just so you know that she knows that she's better than you. That's how sure she was that she was going to get in. She will try and transfer as soon as possible, and god help her if she has to stay in this sh*thole longer than a semester.

1. The Jaded Genius


You know this school you worked so hard to get into? It was this girl's safety school. And she's pissed to be here. In fact, she's still wearing her Princeton sweatshirt she bought in March just so you know that she knows that she's better than you. That's how sure she was that she was going to get in. She will try and transfer as soon as possible, and god help her if she has to stay in this sh*thole longer than a semester.










2. That Douchebag From Your High School

Unless you are going to college in one of the former Yugoslav republics, there will be at least one assh*le from your high school who has never talked to you. Now that he is out of his natural environment of your hometown where he is friends with other douchebags, he will cling to you and pretend you have always been good friends. He will drop you as soon as someone that isn't you talks to him.















3. The Foreign Kid

This guy is from some Asian country, and you really aren't sure which. He is dressed very nicely because his parents incorrectly assumed Americans have respect for higher education. He also has thick glasses and a cell phone way cooler than anything they sell in America. In a couple of weeks, he will be the kid ruining the curve on your computer science midterm.















Written 2010-08-31 18:00:00 by Matt Powers from Pennsylvania State University

1022 likes



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XmlTextThe Body Wakes Up
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Ears: Ok, everyone, that’s the alarm. Time to get up.

Brain: …urg.

Ears: Oh, shut up brain. What are you complaining about? I’m the one who has to listen to freakin’ Michael Bublé first thing every morning.

Brain: …blurg.

Ears: I swear, if it gets to the chorus and I’m the only one awake for it again, you’re all going to have an ear infection to deal with in about three days.

Brain: Ok, ok, I’m up. Look, sorry about Michael Bublé. He just really likes “Haven’t Met You Yet,” and this is the only time he can listen to it without anyone else knowing.

Penis: But what if some girl sleeps over?

Stomach: Seriously? Have you seen me lately?

Penis: *Sigh* Yeah, I have…damn it.

Brain: Come on, guys, figuring out how to get someone to spend the night here is a problem for four in the morning, not seven in the morning. Let’s focus on getting the eyes open right now.

Eyes: No.

Ears: Come on, eyes, we’re almost at the second verse already. Let’s get going.

Eyes: It’s still dark out. It’s illegal to be awake when it’s still dark out.

Brain: Eyes, we go through this every morning. You only think it’s still dark out because you’re closed. If you just open, you’ll realize the sun’s up.

Eyes: …No. I’m pretty sure you’re lying this time.

Brain: OH MY GOD IT’S A HOT GIRL! HOT GIRL IN THE ROOM RIGHT NOW!


Written 2010-08-31 17:00:00 by Van Small from Dickinson College

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XmlTextPwn My Life: Issue #25
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Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Dorkly.com, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I work at a TV station and, when I'm not running camera for the news, I build graphics. For one graphic tonight, they asked for music items (orchestra, instruments, etc). I built a custom sheet music bit with the first part of "Lost Woods (Saria's Song)" from Ocarina of Time on the graphic. I'm hoping that anyone that can slightly read sheet music and knows Ocarina of Time watches the 10 O'clock news.
-Anonymous

A few weeks ago, I fell asleep making out with my girlfriend because I had stayed up all night playing Braid.
-Jean-Luc

When I was 2, I wanted an NES. My parents told me that "Santa" would bring me a Nintendo if I became potty-trained. With little difficulty, I mastered the ability of using a toilet. Christmas day arrived, and I recieved my NES. I also went back to crapping my pants. "Santa" visited my house again in the middle of the night and "stole" my system. He left behind a note changing the terms of our agreement, and promptly "returned" my beloved Nintendo after I agreed to always use an actual bathroom.
-Troy

The only thing that pisses me off about being short is that I can't do Sephiroth cosplay without looking silly.
-Anonymous


Written 2010-08-31 16:00:00 by Kevin Corrigan from Rowan University

51 likes



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Written 2010-08-31 16:00:00 by Andrew Bridgman from Purdue University

6 likes



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It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 7 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years now. We finally moved in to together. Needless to say our first 3 months living together have been a little rocky. I was feeling that I needed an outlet to vent my frustration with her, when the opportunity finally presented itself. When my GF left to go pick up dinner I was left to watch her niece and nephew, twins, age 2. I took the opportunity and handed them the permanent markers out of my GF's backpack. I also gave them her brand new hardcover edition of the Black's Law Dictionary, and all of her current law school textbooks. They went to town ruining over a $1,500.00 worth of her books. I got out of it by pretending I got locked in the garage while doing laundry (our garage door is broken so the only way in is through the door that locks easily from inside the house.) She told her sister that the kids can't come over anymore. Things have been going pretty good for us since then.

I Love My Girlfriend, Most of the Time

5 years ago when I was attending my last year of boarding high school I was kicked off the hockey team for sending another teams captain and coach to the hospital after they instructed their team to trip, check from behind, and slash our team. I was, at the time, 6'2" 190 and the best defense the school had ever seen. My roommate was in charge of sharpening the skates before every game and after every 3 practices. Before the 2nd to last game (very important) I offered to do the skate sharpening for my roommate so he could sleep. After sharpening all the skates I put a very thin layer of clear dry glue on the dominant edge (inner side of the blade) of each players skates. It was amazing watching the whole team consistently face plant all over the ice. Sorry you all didn't make it to state for the first time in 10 years. Sorry roomie that you got fired from the hockey team work study. Sorry coach you lost your job. Next time don't kick your #1 player off for inducing justice.
Anonymous

As opposed to the ever growing douch-baggedness of the confessions on this series, I have an old school prank confession. Me and a bunch of my buddies managed to get a hold of some saran wrap (compliments of the director of food services) and we covered all of this kid's stuff with it. Desk, bed, rolling chair, we got it all. But before we did that, we took all his sheets, pillows, laptop, and desk accessories and put them in his closet. Before duct taping the hole in the wall that was the closet we put this one girl in there and duct taped her in. We did all this while this kid, who was a good friend of all of us, was in the bathroom/showering. Needless to say, he was shocked. But nothing could ever beat his reaction when the girl popped out of his sheets/pillows while he was de-taping his closet. The kid got his revenge though. Being best described as Walter Kowolski from Gran Tarino, he beat the crap out of all of us with his belt.
Franchise X from Siena College

My roommate at the fraternity this summer was a b*tch. He complained that he needed constant light and sound to sleep at night, so the Disney Channel would be blaring at full volume 24-7. He was a huge slob too, leaving week-old pizza boxes and dirty laundry all over the place. He left the whole mess behind when he went to study abroad. One night, my best friend/greek little sister got sexiled, so naturally I let her crash on my couch. Little did I know she would decide to sleepwalk across the room in the middle of the night, drop her


Written 2010-09-06 16:00:00 by Jeff Rosenberg from New York University

5 likes



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XmlText10 Pokemon Pick-up Lines
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Written 2010-09-03 16:31:00 by Andrew Bridgman from Purdue University

20 likes



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Things look a little different when you're a freshman...


Written 2010-09-03 16:02:00 by Alex Watt from Siena College

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Written 2010-09-03 15:00:00 by Susanna Wolff from Columbia University

317 likes



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XmlText105%: Issue One Hundred and Thirty Five
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Kid-Tested, Bone Thugs-N-Harmony-Approved

Based on all the swastikas carved into bathroom stalls, NAZIs must be the most constipated people on earth.
-Patrick Cassels
Digestively speaking, isn't every fast food joint technically an In-N-Out Burger?
-Kevin Slane (@KSlane)
Have you ever noticed how sick horses just sort of stick together?
-Mark H
I just bought one of those wristwatches that shows you what phase the moon is in. Apparently, right now it's feeling really noncommittal and just getting into Faulkner.
-Joe Petro (@joe_petro)
It's OK for me to make Anne Frank jokes, because my girlfriend looks like Fat Anne Frank.
-Adam Newman (@Adam_Newman)
Sometimes I wish politics were more like math; that way it'd be impossible for our views to be divided by ground zero.
-Caldwell Tanner (@caldy)
It's pretty ironic that anarchists all use the same symbol.
-Conor McKeon (@AConorMcKeon)
Rose is red, Hypnotiq is blue, Moscato is sweet, and I pour whiskey into my coffee every morning on the way to work.
-Hannah Carmen

Written 2010-09-03 14:00:00 by 105%-O-Matic from Bucks County Community College

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Me: Lev! I've travelled back in time to prepare you for your Freshman year!

Lev: Wow! Future-me!

Me: I have to give you warnings from the future about Freshman year. Because you can change what happens and-

Lev: Oh wow! It's like the fifth season of Lost! That ends cool, right?

Me: ...sure, yeah, totally. But back to business. Our high-school girlfriend? Dump her fast. Sorry.

Lev: What!? But she's perfect, she's the most beautiful, perfect girl at my high school...

Me: Keep going...

Lev: In my grade...of 90 kids...

Me:Go further.

Lev: ...who would get with me.

Me: That's what I thought. Which reminds me: the first girl you hook up with at a frat party is not your girlfriend.

Lev: What? But we made out and everything!

Me: I know. But do not triple text her. You will look creepy.

Lev: Maybe her phone is broken...

Me: No it isn't. And apparently telegrams are 'creepy.'

Lev: Even singing telegrams?

Me: Yeah, it's weird. Girls, right? And another thing: don't wear the same "Tufts" sweatshirt every day. Everyone knows you go there. You're on the campus. You don't need to remind-

Lev: Woo! I go to a college! Woo!

Me: Stop that. The more you talk about being in college, the less you are. Calm down, freshman.

Lev: ...Woo...


Written 2010-09-03 13:00:00 by Lev Novak from Tufts University

17 likes



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Written 2010-09-02 18:00:00 by Jeff Rosenberg from New York University

228 likes



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Written 2010-09-02 16:29:00 by Andrew Bridgman from Purdue University

11 likes



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XmlTextDating, It's Complicated: Issue #64
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Dating someone? Well great! Send your craziest, funniest, most embarrassing dating related stories to me using this cool automatic submission form!

So me and this guy had been hooking up/having sex for about six months behind his girlfriend's back (i know, i know, i was 17 and "in love"). One morning after a night of seriously awesome sex, he comes into the Juice it Up where I worked at the time and gets a free smoothie like he usually does. I make it for him and we flirt a bit and talk about how great the night before was...I was super happy, convinced he was finally going to break up with his girlfriend...until he asked me if I could make her a free smoothie too...

-Sara

So me and my girlfriend were at Barnes and Noble a few days ago and saw this biography in the bargain section. My girlfriend looked at the cover and asked me if it was the main character guy from Hot Rod... it was a book about Bob Dylan

-Anonymous

When we just started dating, my fiancé sent me a sexy topless photo of herself on AIM. Great huh? The problem is she sent it to me during my Intro to Business final which consisted of power point presentation shown directly from my computer.  So in the middle of my business plan for an indoor water park, her boobs came on screen. I got rid of it quick but my professor docked me 5 points for "distractions.”

-Anonymous


Written 2010-09-02 16:00:00 by Jason from University of Illinois at Urbana Champaign

69 likes



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Written 2010-09-02 13:00:00 by Pat Keegan

18 likes



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XmlTextDa Vinci's 'Vitruvian Man' Goes To College
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Written 2010-09-01 18:00:00 by Conor McKeon from Rhode Island College

531 likes



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Do your parents not understand technology? Do they ask you stupid questions? Do they send you absurd text messages? Do they use words like "MyFace,""SpaceBook,"or "The World Wide Web?"
If you've got an example of your Parents Just Don't Understanding, submit it here!
And thank God we'll never be as dumb as they are!

Your parents' white board.

My mom is convinced that in order for her to use Skype she needs to have Internet Explorer open so she is "connected to the internet."
E Beck

My mom, after years of semi-successfully emailing me, sent me an empty email with an attachment that led to a Google Doc asking me to send her a picture of my new haircut. WTF mom? I'm surprised although I guess I shouldn't be since you still insist on holding the house phone to your ear while you skype me...
Jill W from McGill

Every time I'm listening to loud music on my pc, my father still tells me to "turn down the radio." I don't have a radio.
Rodrigo Farías

My mom has a friend who was abroad and she chat with her everyday through facebook or gmail. One day she told me that her friend said chatting through msn is faster. She asked, "Is there any in the house?"
Vinnie V

My grandmother asked me today if I needed to get a separate laptop to use for my French classes because the one I have now doesn't have french buttons.
Scrub Tibbles


Written 2010-09-01 16:00:00 by Susanna Wolff from Columbia University

68 likes



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XmlTextThe Dorklyst: The 10 Greatest World of Warcraft Videos on the Internet
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People like to make jokes at the expense of WoW players, and with all the videos of them smashing monitors and throwing temper tantrums on the Internet, it's not too surprising. Finding the best Warcraft videos on the web is like trying to pick your favorite pizza topping: They're all so damn good that it's hard to narrow it down. But we did our best. Here's our tribute to the greatest freakouts, pranks, and embarrassing moments in Warcraft videos.


10.




There's emerging genre of Internet video featuring girls destroying their boyfriend's gadgets (or in this case, characters) and then recording the fallout. You can actually see this guy go through the first two stages of grief almost immediately: "Hmmm, that's strange. My main character isn't showing up on my server login screen. No worries, it's probably just some kind of load error. I'll just go ahead and log back in...And he's still gone. This has to be some kind of mistake, unless someone deleted my char....AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SMASH. SMASH. SMASH." From denial to unbridled anger in just a few seconds!


Written 2010-09-01 16:00:00 by Dorkly

40 likes



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#1 -- The Visiting Parents

They drove five hours to come see their kid at college and thought they could all take in a game together. They would think that. Idiots. Jesus, do they not realize how embarrassing they are? Their kid has lived on his own at school for, like, a month now. He's grown. The last thing he needs is his mom and dad asking about whether or not he's made friends and how his classes are. Just shut up and try to make it through the next 36 hours without humiliating him too much, MOM. Oh, and they're going to Target after the game. There's a bunch of stuff he needs them to buy for his dorm room.


Written 2010-09-01 15:00:00 by Sports Pickle

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XmlTextWhat they must have been whispering at the end of Cruel Intentions
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Girl: 
Hey, Mike! We have to leave now.

Guy: What? In the middle of Kathryn’s eulogy?

Girl: You’ll never guess what she did. So listen to this: it turns out that her and Sebastian had this weird, sexually tense relationship, and at one point they had a bet going, and if he won the bet he got to f*** her…

Guy: What??

Girl: Well, okay so—they’re really just step-siblings. No one seems to realize that, but it’s kind of important to the story. Because now it’s not that weird for him, right?

Guy: I mean, I guess not. I don’t know if I can get over that though.

Girl: Well, just hang on a sec. Now the bet, and this is where it looks kind of bad on his part initially, is that he couldn’t f*** the headmaster’s daughter—but hear me out! He ends up falling in love with her, right? So it’s real sweet and all.

Guy: I guess so…


Written 2010-09-01 14:00:00 by Jesse E from Rutgers University

28 likes



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Written 2010-09-01 13:00:00 by CH Staff

99 likes



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XmlTextThe 8 People You Meet During Freshman Orientation
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1. The Jaded Genius
You know this school you worked so hard to get into? It was this girl's safety school. And she's pissed to be here. In fact, she's still wearing her Princeton sweatshirt she bought in March just so you know that she knows that she's better than you. That's how sure she was that she was going to get in. She will try and transfer as soon as possible, and god help her if she has to stay in this sh*thole longer than a semester.

1. The Jaded Genius


You know this school you worked so hard to get into? It was this girl's safety school. And she's pissed to be here. In fact, she's still wearing her Princeton sweatshirt she bought in March just so you know that she knows that she's better than you. That's how sure she was that she was going to get in. She will try and transfer as soon as possible, and god help her if she has to stay in this sh*thole longer than a semester.










2. That Douchebag From Your High School

Unless you are going to college in one of the former Yugoslav republics, there will be at least one assh*le from your high school who has never talked to you. Now that he is out of his natural environment of your hometown where he is friends with other douchebags, he will cling to you and pretend you have always been good friends. He will drop you as soon as someone that isn't you talks to him.















3. The Foreign Kid

This guy is from some Asian country, and you really aren't sure which. He is dressed very nicely because his parents incorrectly assumed Americans have respect for higher education. He also has thick glasses and a cell phone way cooler than anything they sell in America. In a couple of weeks, he will be the kid ruining the curve on your computer science midterm.















Written 2010-08-31 18:00:00 by Matt Powers from Pennsylvania State University

1022 likes



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Ears: Ok, everyone, that’s the alarm. Time to get up.

Brain: …urg.

Ears: Oh, shut up brain. What are you complaining about? I’m the one who has to listen to freakin’ Michael Bublé first thing every morning.

Brain: …blurg.

Ears: I swear, if it gets to the chorus and I’m the only one awake for it again, you’re all going to have an ear infection to deal with in about three days.

Brain: Ok, ok, I’m up. Look, sorry about Michael Bublé. He just really likes “Haven’t Met You Yet,” and this is the only time he can listen to it without anyone else knowing.

Penis: But what if some girl sleeps over?

Stomach: Seriously? Have you seen me lately?

Penis: *Sigh* Yeah, I have…damn it.

Brain: Come on, guys, figuring out how to get someone to spend the night here is a problem for four in the morning, not seven in the morning. Let’s focus on getting the eyes open right now.

Eyes: No.

Ears: Come on, eyes, we’re almost at the second verse already. Let’s get going.

Eyes: It’s still dark out. It’s illegal to be awake when it’s still dark out.

Brain: Eyes, we go through this every morning. You only think it’s still dark out because you’re closed. If you just open, you’ll realize the sun’s up.

Eyes: …No. I’m pretty sure you’re lying this time.

Brain: OH MY GOD IT’S A HOT GIRL! HOT GIRL IN THE ROOM RIGHT NOW!


Written 2010-08-31 17:00:00 by Van Small from Dickinson College

70 likes



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Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Dorkly.com, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I work at a TV station and, when I'm not running camera for the news, I build graphics. For one graphic tonight, they asked for music items (orchestra, instruments, etc). I built a custom sheet music bit with the first part of "Lost Woods (Saria's Song)" from Ocarina of Time on the graphic. I'm hoping that anyone that can slightly read sheet music and knows Ocarina of Time watches the 10 O'clock news.
-Anonymous

A few weeks ago, I fell asleep making out with my girlfriend because I had stayed up all night playing Braid.
-Jean-Luc

When I was 2, I wanted an NES. My parents told me that "Santa" would bring me a Nintendo if I became potty-trained. With little difficulty, I mastered the ability of using a toilet. Christmas day arrived, and I recieved my NES. I also went back to crapping my pants. "Santa" visited my house again in the middle of the night and "stole" my system. He left behind a note changing the terms of our agreement, and promptly "returned" my beloved Nintendo after I agreed to always use an actual bathroom.
-Troy

The only thing that pisses me off about being short is that I can't do Sephiroth cosplay without looking silly.
-Anonymous


Written 2010-08-31 16:00:00 by Kevin Corrigan from Rowan University

51 likes



XmlComment
XmlAttributes
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XmlChildren
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XmlNamefeedburner:origLink
XmlNsPrefixfeedburner
XmlNsURIhttp://rssnamespace.org/feedburner/ext/1.0
XmlTexthttp://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808738
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20
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XmlNameitem
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XmlText
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XmlNameguid
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XmlTexthttp://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808749
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isPermaLink false
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XmlNametitle
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XmlText8 Games on Impossible Mode
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XmlTextTue, 31 Aug 2010 16:00:00 -0400
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XmlTexthttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/collegehumor/articles/~3/rC7GQIBDoh0/article:1808749
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Written 2010-08-31 16:00:00 by Andrew Bridgman from Purdue University

6 likes



XmlComment
XmlAttributes
struct [empty]
XmlChildren
xml element
XmlNamefeedburner:origLink
XmlNsPrefixfeedburner
XmlNsURIhttp://rssnamespace.org/feedburner/ext/1.0
XmlTexthttp://www.collegehumor.com/article:1808749
XmlComment
XmlAttributes
struct [empty]
XmlChildren